THE PATHOS OF BEING A MA.

Manawatu Herald, Volume XLII, Issue 2189, 14 October 1920, Page 1

THE PATHOS OF BEING A MA.

(i’v Wcnda Dene. ’ii Hi l ' Sunday Herald). A'on ; .( i t)u- feeling - about thirty minutes after you’ve hei n jiinde a Ala lor die first time. Having requested Her Trained Slarehituss lo pa,-s over dit' hand mirror and your lie si boudoir cap, you. all shiny of eye and exx-m ding wobbly about die iieart. tin'll snuggle down with it in (he crook of your arm. while; il.’l'.S. goes out to look for your partner in ibis great, ev. nt. Only no husband was ever known to live up to die oeiasion.

He forgets to smother you with pink lire;-., mauve violets, while lilac, or pale lilies. He doesn’t go down on Ids kn. es and reverently kiss the hem of your er—eiderdown, while he thanks (loti. He s;-Idotn murmurs “I,it lie Mother.” or “My tjueeii.’' nr on Hreat, Big, Wondorinl, Brahe Hirlio.” He omits lo give his linger lo the (irsl-born, so that a liny list closes over ii in a way winch makes von both look into each other’s ey. s and see unutterable things. Ho lia-n’t got tin- imagination, as a rule, t.o murmur that when you’ve finished with lit.; pink hml ol a son or daughter might, he wear it in his buttonhole up to the othw one mer dug. All '.'l v.l.ieh, of course, as von very v\ ell (snow , is done in adl ihe besi-regulated kim-inas and novels. UstiaPy he says: “Hullo! You are looking peaked,” and then p rks at yon on the most mdnteresling par: ol your lace. II he greets bis clu ild at. all it "ill b": “( beerrio, old son. i-miny Hide beggar, aren’t.von 2 Where does It, gel the red hair from 2 : There isn’t any in our family.” And "ben yen draw ec.-lalie attention to vonr la.be smiling as it. sleeps, and whisper, in paren(lie..es ‘The angels are talking to ii,’’ he tuts in baldly with: “Rubbish: That's 1 lie wind!" And if it’s a girl sin- will probably have a permanent disinclination to help yon wash up. and her touch on tb pia.no will give m a, splitting headache, and she will possibly have to wear eight: in gloves and sjiocn. What s more, perluip.y no young man will ever see anything in Iter or ever want to, and toil'll lind you’ll lie quite glad of the ten shillings .-lie hands over to von .each v.cvk out of her I liirly-li v- -shilling a week shorthand job. Ami you’ll lie liu-l, when sin doesn’t introduce yon to her pads, or lake ton lo a inatine or the annual stall dinner, just beea’ii.-e yon will wear those hat.-, tut l won’t in.inicnre. or use a powthr pulf. Winn von fondly imagine she’s one of those ideal daughters who tell their ma’s everything, ton’ll rudely discover olio day that, she’s engaged, married, and li.-vd her first baby befor ■ you’ve bad Hme to open your liio'ith. But it anyl-iing, vo'l’ll bn rather relieved when, if it’s a hot, !l( deeides to go lo f'anada anil slop lie re. On. man in the hone with a laslidions digestion being about all you can ;4and. Alt I When you’re a groun-np ma ton’ll Igio'.v perfe-dy well 1 1 >a' the d.aresl days in ail tom maternity were those wb n yem In ill tight in tour loving arms a wee, helpless. elinging baby-bnd. . . . ho in its sleeping hours warned nothing bni a rose tt el diliinbht. And in its waking I nolliing more imj<orta :ll than the moon. And after he's gone old to piek up golf balls yon bide tinder the eiderdown so that H.T.B. shan’t see yon. and drop tears on a squat little nose that you did really hope would be Hrecian, and yon say to yourself: “Oh. for one of those dream husbands I” And then you shed some more, because you know jolly well your figure will never be tvhaf it was, and that lie’ll be slashing your best linen and lih-t; 5 o’eloek with the bread knife, and that the canary will die of thirst, and that the piano won’t get; dusted, and Unit H.T.B. will probably help herself to voitr engraved no(epa|u'r. and that the girl will take your best sunshade with her on her Sunday out. Ho. wink- you don t love voitr husband any less, you stake till your dreams on your offspring. Jf it’s a. boy lie shall go info, the Clim-cb. or be another Llovd Heorge’; though you wouldn't mind if he went out to Australia, and dug up a gold mine, or to Seattle and made a fortune in tinned crab. Only, lie miisn’t be away longer than 12 months. If it’s a daughter you’ll keep her at home, and already yon can see yoin>eli in a pew. weeping into u pair ol 18 billions, while she kneel- at the altar beside the young man yog approve of, wearing your own Brussels veil which ln-r father put his foot in when you wore it. And yon guide the little footsieps in tin- way you, want them lo go: and how it breaks your heart lo find they lead so often towards interesting ilnsl bins, thin ice, danger posts, mmi puddles, flowing gutters, and all (hose other pathways which do so take the bloom oil’ (he best Blanco’d shoes. You tub it. scrub it and smack it and dress it and kiss it all its little days, until you wake up to the horrid fact that it’s got your nose after all. its pa’.- devil of a temper. Its grandfather's touchy stomach, your ma-in-law s supercilious -neer. and Hs own exclusive heart-coldness. And that ji doesn't write poetry, or show any inelinatmu to retrieve the family fori lines by writing another “Young Visitors." nr win even a Cambridge Local. But, on the contrary, develops adenoids, tonsils, biul teeth, flat feet, weak eyes—just like iinv other common or g.-.roen child.