SHORT STORIES.

Manawatu Herald, Volume XLII, Issue 2164, 17 August 1920, Page 4

SHORT STORIES.

* A man had been wrongly arrested for a minor offence which it was supposed he Im<\ committed. When he .was brought up at court, the mistake was discovered, and the magistrate remarked: “We are all liable to make mistakes. Uor instance, 1 thought I,was wearing my watch, but 1 have just discovered that 1 had left it at Indite.” When he arrived home that evening, his wife said lo him, “I hope yon got your watch all right. 1 gave it to the man from the court who called for it.” A.ScoPdmmn, on his first visit to London, had been warned by Ids friends to be extremely careful when buying anything, and to always count bis cdmnge very carefully. Ai lor making bis first purchase he stood counting his change so many limes that the shopkeeper, thinking he may have made a mistake, said tu him: — “Well, Jock, and is your change all right?” “Aye,” replied Jock, slowly, once again counting it, “but only just!” A young man entered the village shop and complained to the owner that a ham he bad purchased there a few days before had proved not Iu be good. “The hum is all right, sir!” insisted the shopkeeper. “No it isn’t” insisted the other, “it’s bad!" “How can that be," continued the shopkeeper, “when it was cured only last week?" The young man reflected a moment, and (hen suggested; “Maybe it’s had a relapse.” One night a man went lo dine at a friend’s house; and the host knew how vilely he sang, ami also knew that he would insist on singing. Sure enough, after dinner this man who couldn’t sing stood up in the draw-ing-room and said: "I’ll sing you a little song, it you like. Shall I r “You’re really going to sing to us,-" the host inquired, feebly. “I will, indeed; so chose your own song," beamed the torturer. “What shall I sing about ?” ‘•Oli," murmured the host, absentmindedly, “sing about a minute — and then stop!” tu a concert for charily in a country town, Mr B — obliged by reciting “The Village Blacksmith.” At the conclusion of his recital the mral audience cheered. “Encore!" they cried. “Encore!" Hr B — was about to grant the request, when a burly fellow, very mmdi out of breath, lapped him on the shoulder. "I’ve just come round from the front," whispered the man. excitedly. “I want you to do me a favour. “Well what is it?" queried Mr B —. “It’s this,” whispered (he ini ruder. “I happen to be the feller you’ve been talkin’ about, and 1 want yon to put in a verse this tunc savin’ as how 1 repair motor cars." A motorist -was stopped by a policeman for exceeding' the speed limit, whereupon he became angry and called the policeman an asm After he had paid his fine, the Judge reproved him for what he had said to Hie officer. “Then I musn’l call a policeman an ass .”’ he said. “Certainly not," said the Judge. “You must not insult Htc police. ’ “But you wouldn’t mmd if 1 called an ass a policeman, would you? “Why, no. if it gives you any satisfaction," answered His Honour, with a smile. The motorist turned to the man who had arrested him, “Good day, policeman, ’’ he said, and immediately left the courtroom.