NEW YEAR CONUNDRUMS.

Manawatu Herald, Volume XLI, Issue 2072, 30 December 1919, Page 1

NEW YEAR CONUNDRUMS.

AVhat does a stone become in water? —Wet. What is it that can kick without feet?—A gun. . How can one best get along in the world?—Walk. When is a goat nearly dead? — When it is all butt. What is always behind time? — The back of a watch. Why is thought like the sea?—lt is a notion (an ocean). How many foreigners make a man uncivil? —Forty Poles make one rood. What key does the most harm? — Whiskey. What chins are never shaved? — Urchins. What bridge causes the greatest anxiety?—A suspension bridge. What is the most warlike nation, and why? —Vaccination; because it is always in arms. What is that of which the common sort is the best ? —Sense. What is' the difference between a blind man and a sailor in prison? —One cannot see to go; Hie other cannot go to sea. What is the most dangerous bat that flies? —A brick-bat. Why arc soldiers always rather tired on April first ? —Because they have just had a March of thirty-one days. AA’hat is the difference between the North and South Poles? —All the difference in the world. What kind of vice do even bad people dislike? —Ad-vice. AVhat do we often catch, but never see? —A passing remark. AVhen has a man four hands? — AA’hcn he doubles his fists. AVhy is a bootblack like the sun?. —Because he shines for all. AAdiat is the least valuable thing a man can have in his pockets? —A hole.

AVhy is your nose like Y in civility?—Because it is between two eves.

What flower becomes liquid when you take off its head?—The pink (ink). What 1 is that which is invisible, yet never out of sight? —The letter U » Why is a tight shoe like a hot summer? —Because it makes the corn grow. ' Why has a greedy man a short memory?—Because ho is always for-getting. Why are well-darned stockings like dead men?—Because they are men-ded. Long and lank—thin and tall — spits fire and kills all. What is it? —A gun. What is it we often tell others to do, and can’t do ourselves? —Stop a minute. What country in Ireland reminds you of a candle nearly burnt out — Wick-low. Why is coal the most contradictory thing known to commerce? — Because when bought, instead of going to the buyer, it goes to the eellax*. Why is the letter P like the most cx’uel Roman? —Because it is near 0 (Nero). When did the cock crow so tha( all the world heard?- —When it was in the Ark, What four letters spell the Russian Ambassador's title? —X L N C (Excellency). Why is a wise man like a nail? — Because his head prevents him from going too fax’. What fruit may Noah be supposed to have chiefly laid up in the Ark? —Pears (pairs). What is the most difficult-train to catch? —All about the same, if the train gets the start. What creatures took money into the Ark? —The duck took a bill, and the skunk a (s)cent. There is a word of five letters from which two can be taken, and only one left. What is it ?■—Stone.