THE WASN’T ME’S.

Manawatu Herald, Volume XLI, Issue 1945, 27 February 1919, Page 4

THE WASN’T ME’S.

(By L. Godfrey Turner, in the Daily Chronicle.) ‘Tt wasn’t me,” said W illiam, when they charged liim with the crime. “As anyone will tell yon, I was absent at the time. And ere T went, my Ministers I beckoned to advance, and said to them, ‘For goodness sake, don’t interfere with France!’ And when I heard poor Belgium had been dragged into the strife, I never was so horrified in all by humble life! -I hurried back to Potsdam, and I cried, ‘This mustn't be!’ And so, as you will readily perceive, it wasn't me!''

“It wasn’t me!” the Crown Prince said. “The mischief was begun while I was by our silver sea and basking in our sun. I didn't want to tight, but had to do as I was bid—

Avhieh avus to lead an army and to see that others did! To slioav luiav very little for the fight I was inclined, I always led my men from a position miles behind. I argued that the air raids Avere ahnsrd to a degree, and droAvning children silly. So yon see, it Avasn’t me!” “It wasn't me!” said Hindcnlmrg. “As I have said before, there's nothing I detest so much as things to do with Avar. My mother alwaystold me that the object of my birth avus all to do Avith fostering a scheme of Peace on Earth! To understand how thoroughly those leanings I possess, yoidve only got to ponder on my portraits in the press! I’ve frequently been taken for an angel; so you see, the Kaiser avus the Criminal in Chief; it Avasn t mo!”

“It Avasu’t me!" said Ludendorff. “The day I heard the plot I tried to gel exemption as a ”eonchie” on the spot! But Fate upon my shoulder laid a military hand, and, rounding up a lot of men, she put me in command! Reluctantly 1 led them at the earnest Avish of Fate, but said I’d have them punished if they sang the Hymn of Hate. I bade them sin°' a song of Love in some SAvect minor key —a song entitled ‘Kamova d’; and so it wasn't me!”

“It Avasn’t me!” said Tirpilz. “Every U-boat, as yon knoAv, I asked should lie a dummy, just to make a bit of show!” “It wasn t me!” said Rnppreehl. “1 can evidence produce that when they mentioned gas-shells I. objected to their use!” “It Avasn’t me!” said Schiodomami and Ho 11 weg, in a breath. “1 absoMight! ... It clearly wasn’t death! AVith every move the Kaiser named I begged to disagree. I knew that Right must conquer Might! ... H eelarly Avasn’t me!”