SHORT WAR STORIES.

Manawatu Herald, Volume XL, Issue 1892, 19 October 1918, Page 1

SHORT WAR STORIES.

THE LONG-HAIRED ONE

The colonel of the Blankshires was notified 11ml his unit was about to !m inspected by the Secretary for War. The captain ”-as ordered to make a preliminary inspection, to iee that all was in readiness. In cue of ilie lulls a mop had been .■landing, head uppermost, against kite wail. The captain (who, by the by, is said lo bo very shorl-sighted), on entering the morn, pointed to the head of the mop, and exclaimed, in a loud, sharp tone; “Sergeant', see that man gels his hair cut at once.''* The sergcanl, taking in the situation, remarked: “Very good, sir.” And, smartly calling out “Altmition!” lie succeeded in cheeking the tillering and laughter which was on the point of breaking out. WHAT'S A MOSQUITO? “My attnl ! These mosquiloes !’■' exclaimed the Englishman. The Canadian laughed.

“Where I come from," he said, “Fort Smith, North-west Territories, the ilies’d positively make you love mosquitoes. AW tried once upon a lime to imporl reindeers, to give onr dogs a leg-up at carting ns and our luggage about. The flies simply drove I hose reindeers mad." “Not long ago, in Oodlawirra,” said the Australian —“that's where I hail fmm —the railway line got so slippery wilh millions of crushed locusts (hat the trains had to lie subdivided and hauled over in sections. The sumo thing happened all over again a few days later; only this linn* it was not locusts, but ants.”

“In Bombay,” said the Indian— But (he Englishman did not hear him. He had evaporated.

Here is a true story from Ireland. Off Donegal there is a very small island with a fishery store on it, the walls all whitewashed, and the owner evidently a Finn Feiner.

lie has painted in large letters all sorts of inscriptions, “Up de Valera!” “Up the Rebels!” and so

There is another small island, say, four or live yards away, as an Irishman humorously puts it to me, and on it a two-storey house, the tenant a lady, who is not a Sinn Fcinei*.

Every time she looks out she is confronted with the legends of the lierv storckeener.

In her absence someone painted on her house, “Fo Conscription!” and “Up the Rebels 1” II hen she returned home she erased the “Xo” and the “ion,” and the “Up.” “Conscript the Rebels!'' remains.