SHORT WAR STORIES.

Manawatu Herald, Volume XL, Issue 1889, 12 October 1918, Page 1

SHORT WAR STORIES.

PREPABEDNESS. German General: “Have our brave troops been'informed that we shall lie in Paris in four days?” Subordinate; “Yes, General.” “They understand (ha! the Great War was forced upon us?” “Perfectly, General.”

“They have been told that I lie Americans always kill our machinegunners if they surrender.’’ “That is ■well understood, General.” “They have been instructed that, the few Americans opposed to ns are cowardly and inexperienced?” “Hand-bills announcing' that fact are passed around each evening.” “Then let tho offensive begin,”

AN AWKWAKD FIX

The red-faced, bristly-moustach-ed sergeant-major had,gone to, oh, such trouble —as onlv a real, live

sergeant-major can —to impress upon the “Rookie" Hie need for remembering bis regimental number, and being, as he said, “able to get it off vour chest like a shot.”

After a moment’s pause, during which the “new ’un" pursued hm wool-gathering, the sergeant-major rapped out, “Now, then, Fussy, wol’s yer number?” Fussy stared bewildered; struggled in his mind’seye with a mass of shapeless figures, and then sheepishly answered, “Please, sir, it’s gone: I’ve forgotten!" “Blimy ! ! ! There you go ngain,” fumed he of the “an*

wot the ’ell would you do if yer got killed and din't know yer blinking number?”

RONS OF COT?IIESPOXDEXTS. War correspondents’ sons have figured lately in the casualty li-ds. A son of Air G. IT. Perris, of 1 lie Daily Chrnniele, was killed in a flying aeeident, and a son of Mr Herbert Russell, the distinguished correspondent- of Renter’s with the British Army, has been killed while acting' as a lieutenant with the Australians. Lieutenant Russell was a grandson of the late W. Clark Russell, the novelist, and a great-grand-son of “Cheer, Boys, Cheer!” Russell.