SHORT WAR STORIES.

Manawatu Herald, Volume XL, Issue 1867, 22 August 1918, Page 1

SHORT WAR STORIES.

SEEN IN THE DISTANCE

First officer (in spasm of jealousy, surveying two figures in (he distance, one in male attire) : “Who’s the knock-kneed chap Avith your sister, old man?” Second Officer: “My other sister." THE “HOLE” STORY. A young soldier avlio had recently come out of the hospital avus telling his experiences at the front. “1 eentainly had a rough time,” he said. “Fact is, I Avas so riddled Avith bullets that the felloAvs behind me complained of (he draught.” A HARD CASE. The soldier in the train avus dilating on his changed life. “They took me from my homo,” he said, “and pul me in barracks; they took aAvay my clothes and put. me in khaki; they took away my name and made me No. 575; (hey took me to church, Avhcrc I’d never been before, and they made me listen lo a sermon for forty minutes. Then the parson said, ‘No. 575, Art than Aveary, Art thou languid?’ ami I got seven days’ C.B. for giving him a civil ans Aver.” A CHEAP FARE! Though he is privileged to grouse to his heart’s content there is no finer philosopher than the soldier. He a laaoi ys finds the silver lining of the cloud. “Glad I joined np?” said a maimed Tommy Imt lately discharged from the Gloncosjers. “I should say so. See lioav Fvo (ravelled —Egypt, Gallipoli, Italy, and France. I could not have done that in ‘eivy’ life. And the faro —one leg!" DESPERATE. . In the front-line, trench last Avinter two soldiers Avere taking the keen edge oft their hunger by nibbling a biscuit and cheese. Suddenly one Avhipped up his coal-sleeve and dived to liis elhoAV into Hie liquid mud. “ 'Ere, Bill,” growled ’Erh, “don’t stir it up! It's had enough as it is.” “Can’t ’elp it, male!” said Bill, stcrnlv, “I’ve lost me bloomin’ cheese!”