LEARNING THE AUTO.

Manawatu Herald, Volume XXXVIII, Issue 1605, 31 August 1916, Page 4

LEARNING THE AUTO.

(By Walt Mason.)

I’m learing the automobile; as, trembling, I sit, at the wheel, and steer her along, through the hurrying throng, how nervous and awkward I feel! I jolt people out of their lids, I run over chickens and kids; a spurt she will throw when I want to go slow, she scampers, skedaddles and skids. I sweat, and I’m weak in the knees, when swift round the corners she llees, she whimpers and whirs and she gurgles and purrs and runs into fences and trees. My courage she constantly damps by running down bow-wows and tramps; she collided to-day with a big heavy dray, and busied her fenders and lamps. I di-ovc her around for an hour, this engine of terrible power; wherever I stray, on my death-dealing shower. At night when I go to my bed, fierce nightmares abide in my head; I dream my new truck is just running amuck and leaving a windrow of dead. I run over chickens and goats, I run over roosters and shotes; and oft in my dreams do 1 raucously scream, “My auto is feeling her oats!”