THE KAISER’S DREAM, OR THE NEW “PARADISE LOST.”

Manawatu Herald, Volume XXXVIII, Issue 1555, 25 May 1916, Page 4

THE KAISER’S DREAM, OR THE NEW “PARADISE LOST.”

The following entertaining poem was sent, to a Canadian paper by W. McLachlan, who is serving with the 10th Argyll and Sutherland Highlanders at the front. The Rev. N. McCallum, who found it in the paper of his native place, Campbelltown, Scotland, has passed it on to the Christchurch Evening News :

There’s a story now current, tho’ strange it may seem, Of the great Kaiser Bill and his wonderful dream. Being tired of the Allies, he lay down in bed, And amongst other things he dreamt he was dead, And in a fine coffin was lying in state,

With a guard of grave Belgians, who mourned his fate. He wasn’t long dead till he found to his cost That his soul, like his soldiers, had gone to be lost. On leaving (he earth to heaven he went straight, And arriving up there gave a knock at the gate, But HI. Peter looked out, and in voice loud and (dear, Said, “Begone, Kaiser Bill, we don’t want you here.” “Well,” said (he Kaiser, “that’s very uncivil, I suppose after that I must go to the devil” ; Ho he turned on his heed and off he did go At the top of his speed to the regions below, And when he got there he was filled with dismay. When waiting outside he heard Old Nick say To his imps—“Now, look here, boys, 1 give you a warning, I’m expecting the Kaiser down here in the morning, But don’t* let him in, for to me it’s quite clear, He’s a very bad man, and we don’t want him here, If once he gets in there’ll be no end of quarrels, In fact, I’m afraid, he’ll corrupt our good morals.” “O, Hatan, my dear friend,” the Kaiser then cried, “Excuse me for listening while Availing outside, If vou don’t admit me, Avhere can 1 ‘ go ?” “Indeed,” said (he devil, “I really don’t know.” “Oh, do let me. in, I’m feeling finite cold,” Said the Kaiser, quite anxious to enter Nick’s fold, “Let me sit in a, corner, no matter how hot,” “No,” said the devil, “ most certainly not, “We' don’t admit people for riches or pelf, Here are sulphur and matches, make a hell for yourself.” Then he kicked Wilhelm out and vanished in smoke, And jus I at that moment (he Kaiser aAvoke. He Jumped out of bed in a shivering sAveat, And said, “Well, that, dream I shall never forget, That I Avon't go to heaven I knovv very Avell, But it’s really too bad to lie kicked out of hell.”