"CEASE FIRING.”

Manawatu Herald, Volume XXXVII, Issue 1483, 9 December 1915, Page 4

"CEASE FIRING.”

The Peace Crusade, iniated by Mr Henry Ford, ot the Yew-nited States, is about the wildest piece of foolery that has been conceived since Don Quixote had his celebrated joust with a windmill. Mr Ford is a millionaire, and can afford to be eccentric, but none tbe less the case looks like one for a “de lunatico Inquirendo.” Mr W. J. Bryan, the Dove of Peace, and Miss Jane Addams, an elderly spinster, who recently visited the battlefront in Europe, and discovered that all the soldiers were “doped” with drink to make them fight, are Mr Ford’s chief accomplices In this hare-brained adventure, the object of which Is to stop the war by just whispering a word or two Into the private ear ot the Kaiser or Lord Kitchener, or by dashing up and down the fighting line and shouting: “Cease firing !” Tbe satirists of two hemispheres are alleged to be finding much food for mirth in the project; but a few Americans (doubtless hyphenated) profess to take Mr Ford seriously, and talk of the Government stepping in and putting a stop to his farcical mission. “Zamiel” of the Auck-

land Star is on the side of the satirists, and rather fancies the subject could be made to yield something good in the way of whimsical parody. Why not try the “Excelsior” vein ? The parody might open : The day was cold and freezing fast; A Fordraobile through Flanders passed, Whose driver, with a trump in hand, Kept issuing the stern command “Cease Firing !'’ This is not very promising, so I will let the reader imagine the “funny business” while I hasten to the denouement: — As Black Maria, sad and slow, With the old Fordmobile in tow, Of odorous eggs the gauntlet ran, A voice cried from the prison van — “Cease Firing!” Perhaps a few verses of “Casablanca” vein might hit off the situation more effectively. Here goes : A Dove stood on a touring Ford, Whence all but he had fled, Resolved that he would cross the line ' Though danger loomed ahead. He knew two powerful railway trains Were rushing on like mad ; “The Kaiser Bill” was on the down, “joffrench” the up-line had. “My task is easy,” thought the Dove; “’Tis not for me to brag; But I know that Joff and Bill will stop Whene’er I wave my flag.” He waved his flag, he shouted “Peace!” It was a pleasing dream. Joftrench and Bill, they paid no heed, But each slapped on more steam. Then screamed the Dove, m dire “Oh Henry, must I stay ?” But Henry’s feet were very cold, And he had slunk away. Then came a mighty crash—Geewhizz ! The Dove, oh, where was he ? Ask of the “parts,” that all around Were scattered far and free; Ask of Aunt Jane, who skyward soared, A-dams-el fair to see ; Ask of the sun, the moon, the stars; But, goodness ! Don’t ask me !

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