NEWS AND NOTES.

Manawatu Herald, Volume XXXVII, Issue 1393, 4 May 1915, Page 4

NEWS AND NOTES.

A victim of the book-borrowing fiend airs his grievances thus, in the Auckland Herald’s advertising columns;—“The Forgetful People who have borrowed Books from me are asked to return them immediately; their names ate known to the police (I believe), and, some cases, to myself. Let us be honest.’’

An Irishman, having a little capital, decided to go into business in London, so he purchased a small livery stable and had a signboard painted showing him astride a mule. His friend Pat happened to come along, and stood gazing at the sign. “That’s a good picture of roe, ain’t it?’’ he queried. “ Shure, audit’s like you,” said Pat. “But who the devil’s that on your back ?”

The Philadelphia Public Ledger defines the Wilson Tango as “one step forward, one step backward, hesitate, and reverse.” The same paper is responsible for the literary item that the Kaiser is inordinately fond of “ Curfew shall not ring tonight.’’ It begins “England’s sun was slowly setting.’’

A Lancashire Territorial in Egypt wrote to bis people : “ I meet any amount of pals—colour no object. I’m pally with all the New Zealand boys at the depot. A right decent lot they are too, and generally I’m just in time for a cup of tea, which they insist on my having while my boys are loading the waggon. Here’s a true yarn for you : One of the New Zealand companies out here had an inspection the other day, the inspecting officer being a bit of a 1 kuut ’ who wore a monacle. He noticed one of the me- needed a shave very badly, so adjusting his bit o’ glass, and eyeing him up and down a few times, said, ‘ Ha-ha ! No shave this morning !’ Guess his surprise when the chap replied, ‘ He-he ! No razor.’ Result —seven days.”