SPEAKING FIGURATIVELY.

Manawatu Herald, Volume XXXV, Issue 1158, 14 October 1913, Page 4

SPEAKING FIGURATIVELY.

At a social gathering to the Prime Minister and members of the Cabinet by the Reform League Convention, the president of the Wellington branch, Mr Von Haast, in opening proceedings thus humorously set forth the bill of fare. He was only the hors d’oeuvre on the bill of fare, and was merely an appetiser to whet their appetite for the ballot tin of lobster a la Reform. The piece de resistance, however, would be Mr Massey’s celebrated Irish stew, and the potatoes would, of course, be grown on freehold only. For soup, Mr Allen would provide the New Zealand stock on exceptionally favourable terms, and with game a la Financier, the salad being flavoured with that which could be noticed at a distance— Garlic(k). Then Mr Herdtnan was also “game,” and he would provide the “forced meat” and also the “peelers” for Mr Massey’s potatoes. The poultry would be, “Trust” before being served. Mr Fisher would give them “Cabinet” pudding with plenty of “sauce,” and Mr Bell would supply them 1 with prawns seasoned with pepper and salt. Dr. Newman, who he was glad to see on the bill of fare, was more likely to give them a cold luncheon the following day, as he told them the -previous day that people only came to him for tickets for the House when there were likely to be some “scraps.” That, said the president, was the

bill of fare, aud if they did not like that plain wholesome food he suggested that they should go for a fish supper with the Opposition, as it was evident from the strenuous attempt the latter were making to abolish the Commissioner system for Civil Servants, the dish they were hankering after was a nice “pla(i)ce.” They had only to read some of the newspapers to see how the Opposition was liable to “flounder,” and his opinion was that the Opposition ought to return to simpler fare as they had not yet learned to take their “gruel.” In conclusion, the chairman said that his hearers probably came prepared for something more substanial than his “trifles,” so he would at once call upon the orchestra so that the Ministers present could “face the music” and then address them.