A DIFFICULT SOCIAL DUTY.

Manawatu Herald, Volume XXXI, Issue 486, 28 September 1909, Page 4

A DIFFICULT SOCIAL DUTY.

WRITING NOTES OF SYMPATHY TO FRIENDS. To the majority pf persons there is uo more difficult social duty than that of writing letters ol condolence, aud many shrink from it. Yet those who are ip sorrow so greatly appreciate messages from their friends that no effort to write such a note should be considered too irksome. As a matter of fact, the writing of such letters should be uo effort, for every word should be spontaneous, coming straight from thp heart to comfort those afflicted. These letters differ iu tone and in length according to the degree of intimacy one has with the person to whom one is writing. To formal acquaintances the correct form is to send one’s visiting card, on which one writes at the top of the card, “ Deepest sympathy ” or “ Our deep sympathy for you and yours,” when you wish to include their family aud your own. Fetters of condolence should always be written on white note paper with black ink. Tinted paper for this purpose is incorrect, while coloured inks for social usage are obsolete. When penning such a note write legibly, for the mind aud the eyes of the reader will be under a great strain, aud it is a kindness to avoid any possibility of taxing them. Try to express sorrow naturally, just as you would talk, and do not endeavour to say much, for a few rightly chosen words will adequately carry the feeling. It is usually most comforting to the bereaved to hear the lost one praised, so always try to put in your letter some tribute. Recall kindnesses done by the one now dead, or any personal thing you can think of, and when you are writing of someone with whom possibly you have not a personal acquaintance, think of the things you have heard others say and quote them with sincerity, for they will be a comfort and help forward the consolation to which you are seeking to contribute. It is most tboughtiul when writing to persons so afflicted, after expressing one’s sympathy to offer one’s services iu any way that migh'; be useful. There are ofleu little things others can do for friends until the hist shock passes and life resumes for them more normal conditions.

In writing, always make it evident that you are more than ready to do these acts, but, having offered, do not press yourself upon them, for to do so would be tactless and intrusive. Some persons are sensitive to the invasion of their privacy, so it is well not to be over zealous in one’s desire to help.