COMEDY POLITICS.

Manawatu Herald, Volume XXX, Issue 442, 17 November 1908, Page 4

COMEDY POLITICS.

Pandemonium at Brooklyn

With the very best intentions if the world, Mr Janies Johnston is endeavouring to enter Parliament as the elect of Wellington South, but the progress of his election campaign has been flavoured with a spice of farce-comcdy, which h is cast a fatal blight upon his prospects, for he has been unable to induce his audiences to listen seriously to his political views. With a callous levity, those electors cf Wellington South who attend his meetings make sport ol his utterances, Sing songs, and create such a pandemonium that the proceedings develop into burlesque of the choicest description. At Mr Johnston’s first meeting at Newtown, pandemonium raged supreme : at his second, at Alexandra Hall, he fared no belter ; at his third,' at Victoria Hall, he had to make a hurried exit by the rear of the building. On Thursday night (says the Dominion) the candidate was announced to deliver an address at luillford’s Hall, Brooklyn, and a large audience assembled to hear him. Tire candidate managed to gel a better hearing than at his previous meetings lor pail of theqi lime at least.

Having with some difficulty, secured the services ul a chairman, Mr Johnston announced that he would, before entering upon the main questions of politics —he pronounced it “ polillics "—sound a personal note of introduction. This slip in promnn ialion was a fatal one.

“We want 1 polulu s,’ ’’ dmanded the audience. Ti.en some one called for three cheers for the candidate : an ironical salvo rent the air, and the crowd struck up “ For He’s a Jolly Good Fellow.’ Just then tee. proprietor of the hall, Mr A. H. Ful ford, entered. “Mr Johnston Mr Fulliorcl, y said some one, introducing the two with a ridiculous intonation ol voice, and the audience collapsed. The candidate, who kept his temper admirably throughout tha evening, then addressed himself to his task. It tvi s uphill work, and uo mistake. He was getting along fairly well with a short dissertalic u on the uecess.ty of returning to Parliament educated men, when a huge “double banger” came soaring on to the platform, and exploded at his feet with a noise like a cannon. “ ’Fre,” protested a voice, “ the man ain’t a Guy Fawkes! Give ’im a chance.” “Righto! Three cheers for Mr Johnston,” suggested another voice, by way of encouragement. The cheers were given, with the usual convivial chorus. “Next, spasm, please,” said a voice when the chorus had finished, and the candidate, accepting the frivolous suggestson in the spirit in which it was given, cheerfully attacked the next topic of his speech. The audience bore with him for a while, and then, led by the rowdies at the back, sang, “Won’t you —come home, Jim Johnston ? ” and “We’ll Hmg Jimmy Johnston on a Sour Apple Tree.” At tnis juncture the chairman, who was very young, succumbed to the levity of the situation, and gravely conducted the chorus, using a roll of paper as a baton. Then a youth advanced towards the edge of the platform, and bowing dramatically, obsequiously handed a bag of peanuts to the “chair,” and the “chair,” bowing Iris thanks, opened the 'bag, opened its contents upon the table, and calmly proceeded to least upon the delicacies. The condition of the audience at this stage may be better imagined than described; the uproar was hideous, and when the “chair ” rose in expostulation he was requested “ not to speak with his mouth full.” The “chair” vacated his “ furniture,” and after a temporary absence returned with a glass of water, which he presented to the candidate with elaborate and exaggerated courtesy. The aspirant to political honours made the best of the absurd situation, and drank about half of the contents. The chair then look the glass, and, bowing like an ambassador, drained the vessel, amid an uproar which defies description. The bacchanalian refrain, “Beer, Glorious Beer ! ” broke out from lusty throats at the tear, while the pop-pop of crackers was heard all over the hall. Another amusing “side” took place between the “chair” and the candidate, Hr c former being observed to make hysterical gesticulations, “Slop Yer Ticklin’, Jock,” sang ih e audience suggestively. The to w ended at last. Mr Dineen, a resident ol Brooklyn, rose and appealed to the audience to “ give the man a chance.” The policeman made his way up the hall and stood ostentatiously in front of tire rowdy element, and Mr Johnston their got a hearing of a sort.