READ THIS TO YOUR WIFE.

Manawatu Herald, Volume XXX, Issue 382, 25 February 1908, Page 4

READ THIS TO YOUR WIFE.

One peculiarity about a woman's security is that she is always looking for something she doesn’t want to find ; and then rather imagines herself imposed upon because her worst fears are not always realised. Mr Guffey owns a nice farm down below Marton, and naturally had a large delegation of friends from Wanganui to eat their Xmas turkey with him, in fact, the house was so much crowded that when his maiden sister Melissa arrived there was only one room in the tank tower left lor her accommodation. When everybody was ready for bed, and the nightmare in such made and provided, Guffey climbed up to the airy apartment with Aunt Melissa, and pointing to a large plug in the ceiling over the bed, from which hung a long cord, said, “you see that string, don’t you ?’’ “As I’m not blind, I suppose I do,’’ snapped the sister, whose spit-curls the steam of the whisky punch had taken the crisp out of, “Very well, don’t pull it.’’ “Why not?” “ Because % r ou’ll pullout that plug in the bottom ot the tank.” “Well —and then ?” “ Why, the capacity of that tank is about 30,000 gallons. You’ve read of the Deluge, of course ?” I should hope so.” “ Then don't pull the string —that’s all. Good-night.” She might as well have tried to sleep over a powder mine. Presently she sat up in bed and groped around in the dark overhead for the cord. She touched it with her finger, gave a shriek, and buried herself under the clothes. As she didn’t grow perceptibly wetter m consequence she peeped out again, lit the lamp once more looked at the string for a change. She repeated this process half a dozen times, each time growing more and more influenced by her insane desire to pluck the forbidden rope. Everybody knows what the result is when a woman is left alone with something she is not to do. Aunt Melissa finally got up and made her preparation for the inevitable catastrophe. She opened the four windows so that the water would have a chance to escape before the room was filled. Then she put a trunk upon the table, and a chair on the top of that. After that she hung her clothes on the highest nail she could reach, and then all was ready. Climbing carefully up on the aforesaid chair, with the string in her mouth, she said a prayer, shut her eyes, held her breath, and jerked! The plug came down, but not a drop ot water. The tank had been empty for a month !