A BALLAD OF VEGETABLES.

Manawatu Herald, Volume XXIX, Issue 3742, 19 January 1907, Page 4

A BALLAD OF VEGETABLES.

r 1?y Joseph Aleehan.J A potato went out on a mash And sought an onion bed ; •* That's pic for me!” observed the squash. And all the beets turned red. “ Go ’way T the onion, weeping, cried ; “ Your love I cannot, he ; The pijmpkin be your lawful, bride— You eanleloupe with me.’ 1 Hut.onward still the,tuber came, And'lay down at her feet; “Yon eaulillower by any name And it will smell as wheat.; And I. too, am an early rose, j And you J’’ve come to see ; | So don’t turnip your lovely nose, i But: spinaehat with me.” “I do not carrot all to-wed, So’gb, sir, if you please !” The modest onion ineckly said, ! ’ l ?‘ .\iid lettuce, pray, have peas ! Go, think that you have never seen Myself, nr smelled my sigli ; 'Poo long a maiden 1 have been For favours in ynnr rye !” “Ab, spare a cuss I” the tuber prayed ; “My eherryshed bride you’ll be, You are the only weeping maid That’s currant now with me 1” And as the wily tuber spoke He caught her by surprise. And, giving her an artichoke, Devoured her with his eyes. “Ph ilade Iphia K ecord. ”

Here is an essay on the cow written by a child in a Californian school: —“A cow is an animal with four legs on the underside. The tail is longer than the legs, but is not used to stand on. The cow kills flies with its tail. The cow has big ears that wiggles on hinges; so does their tail. The cow is bigger than the calf, but not so big as an elephant. She is made so small that she can go in the barn when nobody is looking.” ; This' is an advertisement of an .hotel in a Danish holiday resort. You will see that such a word of explanation is not purely superfluous :—“The hotels charmingly • iluation, surit-uudeii oi a nice garden the good cuisine, the kindly accommodation with. moderate charge and good conveyances with easy occassion for salmon and trout fishing,, the ascending of the surrounding mountains has done this place well-known and praised of all travellers. N.B. — The landlord is spoken Hnglish very good.” A tricky Scotsman, not remarkable for honesty, attended a race meeting. For one of the events he staked a sovereign on the horse he fancied. His choice was lucky, and he went to the bookmaker to claim his winnings. The ‘ ‘ layer ’ ’ handed him five sovereigns. The scot looked at each coin very carefully before placing them in his pocket. “Well,” said the bookmaker with a sneer, “are you afraid they’re bad ?” .” Oh no,” said the Scotsmen, “ but I was just looking to mak’ sure the had one I gie’d ye wisna among them ! ’ ’ Homo symptoms of acute rheumatism arc, a feeling of coldness ; want .of appetite ; (hirst; and sharp pains in the joints. Ehkumo removes the cause of the trouble, excess uric acid in the blood. 2/0 and d/6. 2