NOT DANGEROUS.

Manawatu Herald, Volume XXVIII, Issue 3700, 26 July 1906, Page 4

NOT DANGEROUS.

A Man From Dad As Who Was Emil) Quelled. When a Woodward avenue patrolman arrived at the foot of the avenue atO o'clock one night last week, he found in waiting a : tall, cadaverous looking chap, with his hat drawn down over his eyes and a sort of tiptoe expectancy in his general demeanor. Ho • at once stealthily approached the officer and hoarsely whispered: p “Do you want to live an hour longer on t the face of this earth?” r “Yes, sir—two or three of them,” replied a the officer as he backed away to size his ■ ban up. a “Then for heaven’s sake look out for - him.” i “Who do you mean?” “He’s here and bin here all day. Wonder i is that he ain’t broke loose and killed two l or three men before this.” ; “Then there’s some one around who’s gor log to break loose?” quietly asked the officer. i “Hushl Not so loud. Ho may jump on I you any minute,” B “Who is the ‘he’ you refer to?” t “Bad man—bad man from Bad Ax. Bin here all day lookin fur a row. Jeat chankr In his teeth and foamin at the mouth. H* i won’t be able to hold himself much longer, ', I’m afraid.” f “And if he breaks loosel" 4 “Theh look out fur gore. I’ve seen him J loose two or three times, and I know what ' - be kin do. He ain’t got no more mercy in ' • his heart than a tiger.” x “Perfectly reckless as to consequences ia » he?” I • “Perfectly. He’d tackle a man as big as » a house) tmd the inah he tackles Is a goner ' In three minits. Jest slams and hangs and f chaws, and the man is dead. I’ve bin wait- - In here to gin you a pinter. If you haiu’6 > got wings, you’d better borrer a pair and i fly.” • “This had man from Bad Ax—is he t about your size?” asked the officer without I betraying any particular emotion. f “Jest about my size and heft,” > “And has the same dangerous appear- ■ ance?” “Jest about the same, or a little more ! dangerouser.” > “Well,” said the officer as ho spat on his I hands and reached out for a neck and hip ■ hold, “I’ve been wanting to meet that man > from Bad Ax for the last two mouths, and now that I’ve met him I shall proceed to” And he lifted the man w high, and I whirled him around his head, and cracked i his heels against the wharf railing, and finally let him drop with a “kerchug” on i the plunks and asked: i “Well, has the bad man from Bad Ax i got enough?” “Plenty, sir—plenty,” replied the man as he got up. “Got all through chawin and cbnnkin?” . “All through, sir.” “Then I guess you’d better make tracks.” “Exactly. Here they are,” And he flew up the avenue and whipped around into Woodbridge street with what seemed a cloud of dust whirling around his coattails and rising up to mingle with long black hair.—Detroit Free Press. Her Programme. “I have my programme pretty well arranged now,” said the earnest young woman. “Sunday I devote to religious exercises of course; Monday to Deisarte and calisthenics; Tuesday the walking club takes its outing; Wednesday we study Molure; Thursday we "discuss the probability of woman attaining the ballot, and Friday ia devoted to uplifting the poor.” “But what do you do Saturday, dear?” “Ob, that’s the day for training my husband.”—lndianapolis Journal. Ko Stay Day Terrors. Weary William (in hayloft)—Sort o’ comfortable, ain’t it? Pilfering Peter—Reg’lar luxury, that’s vot it is! Fo doors to lock, no shutters to bolt, no windows to fasten, no kitchen fire ■'> look after, 110 potted plants to move ibout, no 1 gut to bother with, and noucrv- ’ ons wife to send us a gallivantin around on tb’ cold floors half a dozen times a night lookin fer burglars.—London Weekly. , It Ought to Do. i Pigley—Shall you send your son to college? IP-g ;ou—No. I had oue set up here for dm. j Pigsley—What does it consist off liogson— A gymnasium in the hennery, a sawdust ring in the open lot, a shell in the .luck pond, the smokehouse for a secret So ciety and 400 bunches of cigarettes,—Puck ** A Halt, Wkherby— We’ve beeu without a servant for a week now, Imt my. wife is real good. She gets up first every morning and starts the fire. Plankington—How do you contrive to get her up? Witherby—Easy enough. I leave a lot of change in my trousers pocket.—Cloak Review. She Drew the Lice. “So you have thrown your new admirer •verboardf” “You bet. Just as soon as I learned he was a dairyman.” “What had that to do with it?” “Considerable, None of your milk and water chaps for me.”—Buffalo Courier. Insult to Injury, “It wasn’t her eatln the apple afore me that made me mad,” remarked Emily, the 10-year-old tenant of the Ash ally tenement, as a sob broke from her throat. * ‘lt was her oflerln me the core w’en the entire avuoo was lookin on.”—Chicago Record, A Hood One, Susie (at her music lesson)—l’d like to ~ catch an old air I heard in the music room last night. Professor—What air was that? Susie (demurely)—Oh, it was a millioa-airal—Tit-Bits. The Latest Thine- .

I IF THIS WHY NOT THIS? I -Life. Too Much to Ask, “There is one sign that should be placed over every letter box in the city.” “What ia that?” “Post no bilis.”—Yale Record. Tho Perversity of Girls. Jamesby—Do you think she’ll have you? f Nettles—Why, I’m sure of it. Her family « are all bitterly opposed to mo.—Chicago Record.