Wanted to Join.

Manawatu Herald, Volume XXVIII, Issue 3700, 17 July 1906, Page 4

Wanted to Join.

A little dried up man whose nationality war. imprinted plainly on his face walked Into tho First National bank Hie other day, gazed furtively about, hesitation in Ida every movement. Then he as quickly and un-ostcfU-ati<*asly left the great room, his hand , shoved deep into Ids trousers pocket. In a few minutes lie reappeared, determination written in every deep lino of his rugged face, though his manner did not lack hesitation. Ho stared about him until ho espied a lino of patrons making deposits at the receiving teller’s window, and at the foot of tho lino he took his place As one after another of tho customers made his deposit and departed the little old fellow drew nearer and nearer to tho window, and at each advance his uneasiness Increased and his courage departed. When almost to tho goal, lie turned abruptly, wagged Ids head in a deprecatory sort of way, aud again took a place at the tail end of the lino he had climbed so patiently. A second time ho approached the . Window by slow degrees and a second time ho turned away when Ms hopes were about to lie realized. The third time ho toiled up that over varying lino and it was apparent ( that this time lie would do or die. I Only two men stood between him aud i the teller, and he shifted restlessly from j one footyto another. Only one man now f kept him from the counter and Ins agitilr | tion increased. That one man turned away. Tho little old man’s time had come at last! He Jerked ids hand from his pocket ami with it a huge roll of greasy and oft lingered bills. Ho dashed tho money down In front of the puzzled teller and in a voice husky with emotion, excitement and suppressed nervousness exclaimed loud enough to be hcarjl jOO feet away; “Oi want t’ Jine the hank!” Ho wanted to open an account and no one interposed an objection.—Chicago Tribune. Her Mania For Funerals. As women advance in years, it has been noticed, a fondness for at tending funerals becomes manifest in their characteristics, but a young woman who has this tendency is extremely rave. Such a one, however, told this story on herself in a little social Coterie the other day: “I don’t know wMy it is,” she stated, “but. I have always had a mania for funerals. When I was a child, 1 never could got past a door that had crape on it. I would , always mingle with the visitors and go in and see tho dead person, whether I know tho family or not. Tho melancholy which pervades such scenes has always had a relish for me, I can’t tell why. Not long ago, however, I had such a peculiar experience that my fondness for burials has temporarily languished—perhaps I'm cured. “An acquaintance died, aud I, of course, arranged my plans to attend tho funeral. At the time I dressed aud repaired to hei church. As I was delayed a little, I sat down in a rear seat. There I heard tho hymns and the discourse, and joined copiously iu tho mourning. I remember now how I wept and wept until people near mo regarded me curiously. I was too used up to go to tho grave and went homo. At dinner my husband said: ‘What makes your eyes so red? 1 “ ‘I have boon to Mrs. Wilbur’s funeral,’' I answered. “He looked a trifle queer, and then said: “ ‘No, you haven’t; she isn’t to lie buried until tomorrow.’ ’’—Louisville CourierJournal, An Indication. Mr. Northsido walked into his parlor the other night aud was rather surprised to see his daughter sitting on young Mr. Hilltop’s lap. The young people were surprised too. The older man was the first to recover his equanimity, and as Miss Nonhsido found her feet he remarked: “Ah, Lucy! 1 see your race for a husband is nearly over.” ‘‘What makes you say Hint, papa?” asked the girl, blushing painfully. “You seemed to he Mu the last lap.”— Pittsburg Chronicle-Telegraph. Parental Reproof. “It seems to mo, Laura, ” filled out Mb - Kajoncs, who was trying to read his newspaper, “you are doing a good deal of un t necessary talking aud cackling in there. What aro you about?” [ “I’m merely silt i ng by George, ” demurely answered Miss Muim from the parlor. ; "Well, I wish you would make less noise, ; by George!” rejoined Mr. Kajonc-s.—Chi-cago Tribune. ■ i

Not Much Kisk. Examining Physician (for iusuranca company)—l’m afraid wo can’t take you, sir. You are too groat a risk. Applicant (rosignedly)—Well, perhaps I am. Tho fact is that when I get sick I never send for a doctor. I just Hu around until I got well. Examining Physician—Eh? Uni—wo’ll take you I—New York Weekly. More Information. Tommy—Paw, what is an egotist? Mr. Figg—He is a man who thinks he is smarter than any one else. Mrs. Figg—My. dear, you have that wrong. The egotist is the man who says he is smarter than any one else. All men think that way.—lndianapolis Journal. It Was Effective, Though. Mrs. Wiggles—What did Mr. Wagglea say when he proposed to you? Mrs. Waggles—Ho you know, wo both of us tried to remember that tho very next day, and neither of us could.—Somerville (Miss.) Journal. * Absorbing. “I don’t believe that Timmins over had an original idea in his life.” “Oh, I know of one. He has an idea that he is a great poet.”—lndianapolis Journal. The Important Part, “I would die for you,” passionately'cxc’aimcd tho rich old suitor, and tho practical girl calmly asked him: “How soon?”—Somerville Journal. What's In a Name? { “Why did you name your baby Niagara?" I n..:; she roars sh. ” - IV: roit Fror iTcss