THE CHILDREN.

Manawatu Herald, Volume XXVIII, Issue 3688, 23 June 1906, Page 4

THE CHILDREN.

Bright ef Young • rFrom dlaiij Sou, r Little Edith was heard < next room, when suddenly i . of something let fall, probali y i. tmother thought. Says mamma, ’ ir drop someibing, Edith?” Edith- O footstep.—Boston Transcript Little Frank had long ini cor: nm-d father to buy him a pony. At 1.. .- ■ 1 said, "If I were to get you a pon», i:..you wouldn’t know wH’ V .•• h;m "Oh, yes, 1 would, pu,;.i," “Ed feed him horse radh-h.” Chronicle. Many people who talk with simplicity gad correctness become at once unnatural and awkward when they take up the pen. Eo it was with Johnny Bates. In the reading lesson there was a reference to some one who had “contracted a cold,” and the teacher called attention to the word ’ con* tractecl.” To “contract a cold," he explained, “meant nothing more than to catch a cold.” That afternoon Johnny had to write il composition and like a sens!ole boy chose for his subject atl Account of a fishing excursion. On the whole it was a pretty creditable performance for a boy of Johnny’s age, but the teacher was obliged to laugh when be came to this sentence, “I fished half an hour and contracted five perches and one horn pout.’’—Youth’s Com pauion, Harry-When 1 get to be a man, I’m going to let my whiskers grow. Mamma— Why so, my boy? Harry—Then I won’t have only a little bit of my face to wash.— Boston Courier. Little Boy—Mamma, 1 want a lot of soap and some warm water. rather you wouldn’t blow babbles today. "1 wauts to wash my hands.” “Ohl Why, oI course, my pet. You want your hands to be nice and clean, don’t you, dear!” “Yes’m. We is goin to play theatricals, and I’m to dress up as a girl.”—Good News. Mamma {to Johnny who has fallen on the s!dewalk)-There. Johnny, don’t CrJ“ be « little man. Johnny—And say the things that pa does when anything hurts him?— Boston Transcript. After the dinner at the cafe Hobby noticed with bulging eyes the heaping pile of change which the waiter brought back to his father, “Oh, papal” he exclaimed. "Oh, papa, I’d likea plateof that tool”—Tit-Bits, Expedient. The sailor’s bride, with haggard, anxious face, gazed across the stormy sea. At her feet the breakers moaned upon tba ruCky reef. “Bring him back, bring him back tome!” ■he wailed. The storm buffeted her, and the spray dashed over her. "How can I bring bim back?” And the summer girl, who had chanced to wander near in her reefing jacket and high rubber boots, suggested: "Make him jealous of you.” The wind rose and shrieked.—Detroit Tribune. _ At lln o’Cloch Tea.

"That’s an uncommonly pretty girl over there pouring tea," , “Yes; she is one of the reigning belle# this season.” J "Ah, these belles never reign but they : pour.”—Life. j Surprising. | Yankee exaggeration is a trick that work# ; both ways. It is most amusing perhaps | when It takes the form of understatement. An old lady was alone in a very old house 1 V'heu the walls suddenly collapsed, and the { bouse came tumbling down around her. I Her escape was little short of a hut she was taken from the ruins entirely i uninjured. When asked what hersensalions were when the house fell, she said; “Well, to 101 l the truth, I was considerably skeered—l rcely v, as”—Youth's Cornpan iou. Her Explain! (i«u. •Maggie had had the toothache for aom* lime, ami the lodine which had b cn prescribed proving iuciTtclna! lu-r mistress procured another remedy at tm-drug store. 1 iiiuking to impress her wi'h the ;.cer.s.-it j if being careful in toe use of it, :.be said; “Now, Maggie, do you see the shall and cvo'-shoncs on the label, jn. t as they were t/ii i he bottle of iodine! 1 P > yon k: mv wlial they meanf” “Yes, ma'am.’’ rc{..’cd Maggie. “They mean that it's for the ueth." - rl.ansaw Traveller. An Escape. "You say, Mr. Clerkers,” said his cm ployer, “thatyou will be com pel ltd to leave town for a time. Have you any idea how bug you will bo absent?” “Well, not exactly,” said Mv. Clerker* absently. “But I'll be sure to he back ; about the time Maria’s got the moving all done.”—Chicago Record. j Never .Scold. ! Mother—lt is time to make some inquiries about that young man who now calls to sea | Clara. | Father—He has not been coming mors Hum a week. J Mother—No matter. I heard Clara scold- j lag little Johnny for peeking through key- j holes.—Good News. Sorry He Spoke. j Mr. Gramppa—What idiotic things they ; do print on the women’s page of this newspaper! Mrs. Grumpps—Yes. I wish they would discharge the fellow and put a woman in charge of It.—New York Weekly. j Used to It. He—lt must he very hard for these poot emigrants coming as strangers to live ia a foreign land. ; Hhe (complacently)—But remember, dear, I they have always lived in foreign lands.— | —Vogue. Would Shine In Washing on. “Mrs. Rexhy i-nT handsome when you 1 iw her closely, but at a distance she looks magnificent ’’ “Yes, the * a woman ol magnificent dis , lances.”—Chicago Tribune, |