THOSE DIAMONDS.

Manawatu Herald, Volume XXVIII, Issue 3688, 19 June 1906, Page 4

THOSE DIAMONDS.

Uya, Lambkin Didn’t Count «u ■■• Lack* Young Mrs. Lambkin was ili-iiy- :: ‘- gee her dear Mario when she cam e. Seed she assured her of the fact ” “I was beginning to fear lor.t unable to come, as you expected, ” - marked. “It was growing so late." “Oh, I was determined to oomo. iou 600, it will bo my hist chance before I go. and California is so far away that I mat not bo back In Chicago for untold “Yes, indeed, you poor exile, tin; .. ■ •r mind- Your husband may inakeene:a. money to enable you to live in Cluca-p tome day.” “No doubt. But of course I should in. be satisfied unless I had my ova; lionthough really your little flat seen..s v nice, and no doubt you are quite couienui. In It.” “Oh, yes! One could bo contented aim Where with Alexius. You have no Uie.how happy we are.” “Indeed I always quite liked him in t A days when he spent most of bis time m our house.” “Yes, 1 remember. It was immediate!) across from my homo. Ho could keep watch on all my movements from your windows.” “Very likely. I remember that you were generally at one of the front wlmt Do you find this a pleasant neigi . “Quito so. I’m always afraid ui. glars, and now I shall bo more so than ever.” “I should bo awfully afraid m;, >Jt But, then, I received such handsome w. ding presents”— “Speaking of presents,” inter ■ Mrs. Lambkin as she drew out a ease a. opened it, “today is my birthday, and what a lovely gift my husband brougb’ me.” “Diamonds!” gasped Mario. “How l-e. lyl But—but aren’t you afraid he v . ruin himself giving you such ex;.' -m.. things? 1 shouldn’t think of allow, ag ray husband to do It.” “But, then, dear Alexius is Krh "• « business man. Ho can quite affine, it ' “Who would have thought it in the da when he used to come to see”— “I was surprised whim lie gave it to mo I hadn’t the least idea—why, hero comes Alexius himself. Whatever has brought him home so early today? Just give me that case, will you, dear? He—he always hates display.” “Oh, bother 1 What if ho does? I haven’t half looked at it. Do you quite like the setting? Why, Mr. Lambkin, hew you do! lam just admiring dearth dora’s lovely diamonds.” “Endora Lambkin, wherever did .- u get those things?” queried her lui.--.b -..- oblivious of the signs she was making tc him. And just then the door opened ..er-a more, and the head of the hired girl ap poared. “If you please, Mrs. Lambkin,” she >•« marked, “the young man from Stone & Silver's is here to ask about them there diamonds they sent on approval.” - In the slight pause which followed dear Marie arose, smiling, and said that she really must go. A Puzzling Question. “Yonder she comes,” said a tall, lank man who was sitting on a trunk near the railroad station. “Yonder who comes?” asked a fat, heavy man who sat near him. “The train,” replied the lank man. “Why do you say, ‘ Yonder she comes?’ ” asked the fat man. “Well, that’s the customary way of speaking of a train, isn’t it? And custom is what fixes things. Everybody says, ‘Yonder she comes,’ in speaking of a train’s approach.” “Well, I insist you should have said, 'Yonder ho comes.’ ” “Oh, pshaw 1 Nobody ever says‘ho’ ir speaking of a train,” returned the lean man. “Well, I’ll agree to leave it to the station agent and see if it wouldn’t have been better for you to have said, ‘Yonder h« comes,’ ” added the fat man. Both agreed to it, and when they had found the agent the fat man asked: “What is the train just coming into th* station?” “It’s a mall train,” he answered. Then the loan man went out and bought ft good cigar for the fat man. An Incentive.

“And I only married to reform you I" “ Yesh, but of cursh a man drlnksh mot* 11 he marries such a fool as that. ”- And There Are None There.' In the large display wludow of oao ol the leading drug stores of Alexandria, Vn.. is displayed a large sign covering one end of the window, with the inscription, “A few good substantial loafers wanted W stand in front of this window. ” " ■ ■ A Free Hooter. She (haughtily)—Did I hoar you call rm father a pirate? He (rubbing his coattail)-—I merely said that he was a free hooter. Tying Her Shoe. She stood by a door that was festooned wlti flowers, While the sound of the waltz floated lazily through, And young bloods of fashion and maids wlti fat dowers Stood watching us while 1 was tying hm shoe. She wore a red stocking, soft, delicate tdllr : Her ankle Just turned (o perfection— yes, two, And tho edge of her cdUc-oat, whiter that milk, T -did T tr. ■n'.'l."'!—whi n tyirur her -dw, . i. ■ ■ >_v (ant v. >-n- ■ •. * • : 1 oui i I • - N-fi—wh'-ri f yQdlfi{Hr«iiwiifi'h A I Li 'Nwk' mm um* imm

ru 1 -; r- 1 ■ ! of -b : - ;/ - lumber ih». ,:iu. ' y so’ 1 - ■ : -m “ ■ ■ ’ - ' fom-tip.--. - '' - father to i uy r.’; •> - v -r , : •aid, “If 1 w.-.v •. ■ !:•••• a “““I- - 1■ -I wi; .1 ; e-j’.. " : ' “Ob, yes, I ivi>:;..b, j...; .. ’ - a:;i i “I’d feed him horse r.id;.-u.” Piiisuurg Cb ronicle. Many people who talk with simpiic tj ftud correctness become at cnee unnatural Bud awkward when they take up tba pen. Eo it was with Johnny Dates. In the reading lesson there was a ivU it-nce to some one who had “contract 'd a told,” and the teacher called alieniion to the word con* tracked.” To “contract a cold,” he explained, “meant nothing more than to catch a cold.” That afternoon Johnny had to write a composition and ;iue a scumble bov chose for his subject sa account of a fishing excursion. On too whole it was a pretty creditable performance for a boy of Johnny’s age, but the teacher was obliged to laugh when became- to this sentence/*! fir-bed half an hour and con I f;tcr.i d fiv' pii.me.sm.-i mm iim-npi.ut.VoutsTGm pamon. Harry—When I get to be a mam I'm go im; to let my wL Akers grew. Mamma--Why so, my boy? Harry—Then I won'! have- only a little bit of my face to waoli.— Boston Courier. Little 15->y—Mamma, f wru-t a lot of soaj and some warm water. rmb tr you wouldn’t blow bubbles today, “i wants to wash my hands.” “Oh! Vihy, oi course, my pet. You want your hands La be nice and clean, don’t you. dear?” “ Yes’in. We is goin to play theatricals, and I’m tc dress up ats a girl.”—Good News. Mamma <U' dohnny who has fallen on the sidewalk i—The re, Johnny, don’t cry; he a little man. Joh any—And say the thing.* that pa does when anything hurts him?— Boston Transcript. After the dinner at the cafe Hobby noticed with bulging eyes the heaping pile of change which the waiter brou ;ht back to his father. “Oh, papal” he exclaimed. “Oh, papa, I’d likeaplateof that tool”—Tit-Bits. Expedient. The sailor’s bride, with haggard, anxious face, gazed across tire stormy sea. At her feet the breakers moaned upon the reeky reef. “Bring him back, bringhim back tome’.” •he wailed. The storm buffeted her, and the spray dnahed over her. “How can I bring him back?” And the summer girl, who had chanced to wander near in her reefing jacket and high rubber boots, suggested: “Make him jealous of you.” The wind rose and shrieked.—DetroU Tribune. At Five o’clock Tea.

“That’s an uncommonly pretty girl over there pouring tea.” "Yes; she is one of the reigning belles this season.” “Ah, these belles never reign but they pour.”—Life. Surprising. Yankee exaggeration is a trick that works both ways. It is most amusing perhaps when it takes the form of understatement. An old lady was alone in a very old bouse when the walls suddenly collapsed, and the house came tumbling down around her. Her escape was little short of a miracle, but she was taken from the ruins entirely uninjured. When asked what her sensations were when the house fell, she said: “Well, to tell the truth, I was considerably skecred—l reely was.”—Youth’s Companion. Her Explanation. Maggie had had the toothache for soma time, and the iodine which had been prescribed proving iuelTe’eGual her mistress procured another remedy at tue drug store. Thinking to impress her with the necessity of being careful in the use of it, the said: “Now, Maggie, do you see the skull and crossbones ou the label, just as they were on the bottle of iodine? IJo you know what they mean?” "Yes, ma’am," replied Maggie. “They mean that it’s for the teeth.”— Arkansaw Traveller. An Escape. “You say, Mr. Clerkers,” said his cm ployer, “that you will be compelled to leave town for a time. Have you any idea how long you will be absent?” “Well, not exactly,” said Mr. Clerker* absently. “But I’ll be sure to be back about the time Maria’s got tie moving all done.”—Chicago Record. Never Scold. Mother—lt is time to make some inquirie* shout that young man who now call* toseo Clara. Father—He has not been coming more than a week. Mother—No matter. I heard Clara scolding little Johnny for peeking through keyholes.—Good News. Sorry He Spoke. Mr. Grnmpps—What idiotic things they do print on the women’s page of this newspaper! Mrs. Drumpps—Yes. I wish they would discharge the fellow and put a woman io charge of it.—New York Weekly. Used to H. He —It must be very hard for these poof emigrants coming as strangers to live in a foreign hold. She (complacently)—But remember, dear, liu-j I'-tv- :;i\v.;ys I : ved in foreign lands.— Vogue. Would si'ir.i; In Washington. ■ Mi... !; .y i-■;"r ha-id-i* me when you i-f. h i-ciov-iy, batata distance she looks r ngniiifvrr " : - v. luj-iti ; ! magnificentdi» i i“. s ■ t : Tribune fambttULi's IS? tsblth