UNKNOWN

Manawatu Herald, Volume XXVIII, Issue 3687, 16 June 1906, Page 4

UNKNOWN

He had been rltlinrr <m ii ‘> <• of a Grand River ;< veil!.c vm- . more and Boomed to lx sue > v ductor’s face all the Lime ‘ plucked up the courage to so,“I don’t know nothin’lhuii ■ and so am goin to risk. What dm--. - when the boys say, ‘rihoot that h.. “I never heard of it in connect 1; an electric car,” replied the coiiihu-. •• “Haven’t, oh? Did yon ever hear ear talkln through the top of its hai?" “Never.” “Don’t they ever tell a 'lectric vm ;c iheese the racket?” "Good lands, no!” “Are there any flies on a 'leotrio car? persisted the questioner. “There may be, but I doubt it. I gnosis, you’ve got things pretty badly mixed up.” “Yes, mebbe I hev,” replied the stranger with a long drawn sigh, “and I guess the best way Will be to catch a conductor on duty and git on to his shape and give him A powwow. Much obliged for your kindness. I’ll cork my eat and dry up. ’ —Do troit Free Dress. Accommodating.

Miss Redbud—Just think 1 Mr. Sand ■ ■' k. . wants to make a philopona with ma to be (slid for with kisses. Caslleton (eagerly)—Why don’t you? Miss Redbud—Would you? Castloton- -Certainly. I’ll hold the stakes.—Brooklyn Life. > No Sinister Motive. "Is this Mr. Heddineers?” "Y.s, sir.” "My name is Plunkett. lam acquaint* ud with a friend of yours in Philadelphia -~Jacobson, in the commission business. ; He told me”— ; "Jacobson?” "Yes; he told inti to tell yod he was well • Uia regards." .■ . f.iii say Jacobson? What’s hla first ( don’t know what the W. you do He said he i , of yours.” ' /em 1 ihlnk I rememberhlm nowl • .i some years since I’ve seen him. One is apt to forget, you know. Is there any- : thing I can do for you, Mr.—Mr."— | "Plunkett, sir—Plunkett. Your name, I think, la Heddineers?” "Yes, sir. Is there”— ; "No, sir; there isn’t anything you can do for me, Mr. Heddineers. I can attend , to kicking myself for calling. When I told • Jacobson tho other day I was coming out this way, he made me promise to hunt you up and shake hands with you. Said you would be glad to see me, I told him it was entirely out of toy line to go around bothering folks in this way, but he would not listen to any objection. That’s why I am here. I didn’t come to stay. I’m not hunting for a job. I don’t want to borrow any money or sponge on you for a lunch. No, thanks, I don’t care about sitting down. I came here to oblige Jacobson. I’ve given you his message, and I’ll not occupy another minute of your valuable , time. Go to thunder, sir t Good afternoon I”—Chicago Tribune. An Objection. “Yes,” said Mrs. Hunnlmune, "she , seemed Jlke a very good natured and capaj ble servant. But I couldn’t keep her." "Was tho work too hard for her?” "No; she said tho place was just to her liking in most respects. There was only one objection." "What was that?" "My clothes wouldn’t fit her.”—Washington Star. Corrected. Mr. Emerson Hub (reading newspaper) —The cashier made no bones of taking the '■ whole sum. ! Mrs. Hub—How vulgarly put! • Mr. Hub—How would you express it, i my dear? Mrs. Hub—The cashier made no study | In osteology of appropriating the financial assets.—Minneapolis Journal. t ■ - I Too Much. Customer—These nails I bought here yesterday are in a terrible condition. Half of them are rusty. Salesman (indignantly)—Well, what if : they are? You don’t suppose wo can manicure every pound we send out, do you?— Boston Post. Taking the Lesser Evil. Moberly—You look pretty happy fora ' man who’s on his way to tho dentist to have two teeth extracted. Hansom (with great joy)~You see, If I didn’t go to the dentist’s, I’d have to stay at home to my wife’s 5 o’clock tea.—Chi cago Record. I He Got It. Mrs. Magun—l came across one of your old letters today, George, where you said that you would rather be in endless torment with me than bo in bliss by yourself, j Mr. Magun—Well, my dear, I got my j wish.—London Tit-Bits. i An Inference, i “ You have saved my daughter, at the risk of your own life, from a watery grave, young man. May I infer from this that 1 you have the means to establish a house- , hold of your own?”—Fliogcndo Blatter. | Partial Intimacy. 1 Caller—Are you intimate with Mrs. Flrstfloor? Mrs. Thirdfloov—Well —cr —our servant girls hang our clothes on the same roof.--New York Weekly. Ammunition. “Now, Charles, lot us make a list of your debts.” ' "One moment, dear uncle, till I have ailed up your u-k.-toud.Flic -- :ii‘- i , 'or. •tor?***- —ifcj* HMrfMft*

Bnlt°.b’.i*. Marks of ni- ■ '-an. To h, A hour. Fm m: 1 • Hi!ted bv n\w- in r. Jly piinn.is and infills revel (iavu.i name two eminent American uiv.ocs. No. 250. — Kiiiytna. A Quadramanons animal Is that which wc a total call. A silly fellow, too, is he, And servile, as you often see. Better to follow one’s own plan Than ail some much admired man, For artificiality Is never pleasing, all agree. No. 251.—Tommy’s Improseloß.

Tommy—Are you a real man, grandpa? Grandpa—Yes, Tommy. Now what did you think I was? Tommy—Thought you were 1 (Fill out Tommy’s answer.)—Golden Days. No. 358. —On a Fishing Excursion. (Find the fishes whose names are defined.) My first catch was a “sudden blow or hit’* (1). Surprised at this, I turned round “to challenge” (2) the offender, when I saw a “stupid fellow” (3) and a “user of some bait or artifice” (4) near a “tree" (5). Approaching, I sought "to find fault” (0) at toy misadventure. “One who darts" (7) suddenly passed with "deep, guttural sounds” (8), and instinctively a “pole” (It) was thrust at a "bucket of a pump" (10). “One who praises extravagantly" (11) came near. I had been cautioned to beware of a “person easily duped or cheated" (12), anil given to understand that I might expect an encounter with a “machine for beating out grain” (18). Remembering that warning, I beat a hasty retreat, leaving my booty behind in the pond. No. 353. —Charade. The waves were racing in the bay. And shining oke of foam wore they; Up came a boatman, steering gay That craft of his. I asked, with my most courteous bow, "Is any fish in season now?” Ho answered, na lie moored Jiia scow, "Aye, haddock is.” We went for haddock: soon wo caught One of great two; the lino was taut; The boat would surely whole, I thought. In the abyss. But only I plumped In. My trips Since then I take on larger ships; I’m wary slnco from Ocean's lips I had a kiss. No. 364. —Numerical Enigma. My whole, composed of 83 letters, is a quotation from Halleck. My 20, 30, 24, 8, IS, 20, 31, 11, 1,6, S 3 is ruin. My 25, 8,3, 28,10, 13, 21,19, 33 is subjection to death. My 7, 20,17, 4,14 is to turn rapidly. My 83, 2, 27 is an animal. My 15,12, 23 is to become weary. My 16, 9 is an interjection. No. 355.—Geographical Division*. Take a river from a town in England and leave a clamorous creditor. A drinking cup from a city in Italy and leave part of the body. A carpenter’s tool from a town in Russia and leave turmoil. The present time from a town in Hindoostan and leave good fortune. , A weight from a town in Massachusetts ami leave fresh. Prevailing fashion from a town in Ohio »nd leave a period of time. A Card Trick. Deal 25 cards in five rows of five cards each, face upward. Invite a person to think of a card and to tell you in which row it is. Note in your own mind the first or left hand card of that row. Now pick up the cards in verticle columns—i, e., beginning at the last card of the last row, placing tlr t card face upward upon the last of the next row, those two upon the last of the next row, and so on. When you have picked up all the cards iu this maimer, deal them out again in the same way as at first. You will observe that those cards which before formed the first cards of each row now themselves form the first row. Ask the person in which row his card now i*. When he has told you, look to the top row for the first card of the origiual row, when the card thought of will be found in a direct line below it in the last row indicated. Key to the Puzzler. No. 241.—A Tangle: We welcomed May with all her changing skies And bailed with Joy the queenly month of flowers, Counting some blessing on each fleeting day. Telling them on a rosary of hours, gome idle tears must fall above the past For all the sweetrtead days that we remember. But, with the garnered treasures in oar grasp. We drink the golden wine of bright September. No, 242.—Numerical Enigma: “Civility may truly be said to cost nothing; If U does not meet with a due return,«it at least leaves you iu the most creditable poaltiou.” No. 843.—A Riddle: Balance. No. 241.—Things to Be Seen: Post. Bar. Weed. Hole (whole). Ground. Shadow. Lands eer. No. 245 —Word Building: I, is, sir, sir*, •hire, shrive, dervish, shivered, shriveled. No. 246.—Hidden Proverb: When poverty comes in at the door, love flies out m th« window.

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No. 247.■Word Sijuarcp: L A T E S C 0 T F A M & ARID c a r z r A R I D TIDE O r> E H A M ■1 T E EDEN t e c :j a ■ T R A a LI K D K N No 24Cork. Coii. •■!' ( ... fl . T I '