UNKNOWN

Manawatu Herald, Volume XXVIII, Issue 3685, 12 June 1906, Page 4

UNKNOWN

He had tow rubm; the >• of a Grand R'lver ovenm* rv more and seemed to be study; redactor's face aIJ the time. Ai ■ plucked up the courage to Kay; "I don’t know nothin 'bout ’!< ’ and so am goin to ask. What does ;•• • - when the boys say, ‘ Shoot that h;u ; “I never heard of it in connection v, an electric car,” replied the conductor. “Haven’t, ch? Hid you over hoar of * oar talkln through the top of its hat?” “Never.” “Don’t they ever tell a ’lectrio car tc Oheeso the racket?” "Good lands, no!” r - < “Are there any flies on a ’lectric car? ’ persisted the questioner. “There may bo, but I doubt it. I guess you’ve got things pretty badly mixed up.” “Yes, mebbe I hev,” replied the stranger With a long drawn sigh, "and I guess the best way Will be to catch a conductor off guty and git on to his shape and give him ft powwow. Much obliged for your kindOwe, I’ll cork my ear and dry up. ’ ’-—Do teolt Free Press. Accommodating.

Miss RodbUd—Just think! Mr. Sand- ■ tdnb wfiutb to inake a phllopena With ho paid for with kisses. Castleton (eagerly)—Why don’t you? Miss Redbud—Would you? : Castleton--Certainly. ITI hold the .stakes.—Brooklyn Life. No Sinister Motive, ! ‘.bi this Mr. Heddineers?” j “Vos, sir,” ; “My hair 10'is Phlnkett. lam acquaint* | ed with a friend of yours in Philadelphia I —Jacobson, in the commission business. He told me”— 1 -oohson?" Vos; he told me to tell you he was weli his regards.” 1 Old you say Jacobson? What’a bis flrrt h enry W. I don’t know what the W. , i-.r. Perhaps you do. He said he . . oUi f; ii rid uf yours.” “Oh, yes; I think I remember him nowl Been some years Once T'w scon him. One l is apt to forget, you know. Is there anything T can do for you, Mr.—Mr.”— “ Plunkett, sir—Plunkett. Your name, I think, is Heddineers?” “Yes, sir. Is there”— “No, sir; there isn’t anything you can do for me, Mr. Heddineers. 1 can attend to kicking myself for calling. When I told Jacobson the other day I was coining out this way, be made me promise hunt you up and shake hands with you. Said you would be glad to see me. I told him it was entirely out of my line to go around bothering folks in this way, hut he would not listen to any objection. That’s why I am here. I didn’t come to stay. I’m not hunting for a job. I don’t Want to borrow any money or sponge on you for a lunch. No, thanks, I don’t care about sitting down. I came hero to oblige Jacobson. I’ve given you his message, and I’ll not occupy another minute of your valuable time. Go to thunder, sir! Good afternoon!”—Chicago Tribune. An Objection. “Yes,” said Mrs. Hunnimune, “she eeemed like a very good natured and capable servant. But I couldn’t keep her.” “Was the work too hard for her?” “No; she said the place was just to her liking in most respects. There was only one objection." “What was that?” “My clothes wouldn’t fit her.”—Washington Star. Corrected, Mr. Emerson Hub (reading newspaper) —The cashier made no bones of taking the whole sum. Mrs. Hub —How vulgarly put! Mr. Huh—How would you express it, my dear? Mrs. Hub—The cashier made no study in osteology of appropriating the financial assets. —Minneapolis Journal. Too Much. Customer—These nails I bought here yesterday are in a terrible condition. Half of them are rusty. Salesman (indignantly)—Well, what if they are? You don’t suppose we can manicure every pound we send out, do you?— Boston Post. Taking the Lesser Evil. Moberly—You look pretty happy fora man who’s on his way to the dentist to have two teeth extracted. Hansom (with great joy)—You see, if I didn’t go to the dentist's, I’d have to stay at home to my wife’s 5 o’clock tea.—Chicago Record. He Got It. Mrs., Magun—l came across one of yom old letters today, George, where you said that you would rather be in endless torment with me than bo In bliss by yourself. Mr. Magun—Well, my dear, I got my wish.—London Tit-Bits. An Inference. “You hove saved my daughter, at the risk of your own life, from a watery grave, young man. May I infer fro, a this that you have the means to establish a household of your own?”—Fliogundc Blatter. Partial Intimacy. 1 Caller—Are you intimate with Mrs Pirstfloor? Mrs. Thirdfloor—Well—cr—our servant girls hang our clothes on the same roof.— New York Weekly. A mm unltlon. llUVl' ’ ; ■■ , ! kU>l6£ .Von" HUMS WwurfwftH