UNKNOWN

Manawatu Herald, Volume XXVIII, Issue 3657, 9 June 1906, Page 4

UNKNOWN

! He had been riding on the rear platform ,;f b Grand River avenue car for a mile nr snore and seemed to be studying the conductor's lane till the time. At length lie plucked up the courage to say: “I don't know nothin ’bout 'lectrlc cars, and bo am goln to ask. What docs it mean when the boys say, ‘Shoot that hat!’ ” "I never heard of it in connection with an electric car,” replied the conductor. "Haven’t, oh? Did you ever hear of a car talkln through the top of Its hat?” "Never.” “Don’t they ever toll a ’lectrio oar to Cheese the racket?’ ’ "Good lands, no I” "Are there any flies on a ’leotrlo car?” persisted the questioner. "There may be, but I doubt It. I guess you’ve got things pretty badly mixed up.” "Yea, mebbo I hov, ” replied the stranger with a long drawn sigh, "and 1 guess the tost Way Will bo to catch a conductor oil duty And git on to his shape and give him A powwow. Much obliged for your kindness. I’ll eork my ear and dry up.”—Detroit Free Press.

' r '«!S Redbud—Just think 1 Mr. Sand--rmko a philopena with , Why don't you? ' dd you? ' ' -Inly I’ll hold the —••--■’-I-! Life. 4 • -»uUtar Motive. ■ i’ s’ Hcddineersf" V ‘ ’ ■ •: is Plunk«W. lam ocmialat* ' t the commissloa bucldem. • ul me to toll you be vraewelL . ;.itda. M -.y .Taoobsonf What's hie Unfit An t know What tbp W. t . you do. He ssAfl he ;• of yours,” ' i i k I remember him sow! , , iace I’ve seen him. One , you know. Is there any* for you, Mr.—Mr.”—-u-.-’vt, sir—Plunkett. Your name, . . .. L Heddlneeraf” > there”— >3 isn’t anythin# you eon rieddlneer*. I can attoSd if for culling. When 2 told . i iior clay 1 was coming out , ,c made me promise to hunt , ; uni! shako hands with you. Said >■ -i old he glad to see me. I told him .. -•■uiv.dv out of my line to goaround • < f sks iu this way, but ho would • ■ ■ «;n any objection. That’s why X . I didn't come to stay. I’m not L'i -;c to? n job. I don’t want to borrow ...... or sponge on you for a lunch. I don’t caro about sitting I rime hero to oblige Jacobson. ■ t»> j- u his message, and I’ll not r l;r; minute of your valtmbla thuuder, sir! Good after- . -•» ;,;cago Tribune. An Objection. . ; , ’ said Mrs. Hunnimuno, “she <«. v.,s'( Jiko a very good natured ana capablo servant. But I couldn’t keep her. ” “Was the work too lim'd for her?” “No; sho said the place was just to her liking in most respects. There was only one objection.” "What was that?” “My clothes wouldn’t fit her.”—Washington Star. Corrected. Mr. Emerson Hub (reading newspaper) —The cashier made no bones of taking tha whole sum. Mrs. Hub—How vulgarly put I Mr. Hub—How would you express It, my dear! Mrs. Hub—The cashier mad® no study In osteology of appropriating the financial assets.—Minneapolis Journal. Too Much. Customer—These nulls I bought her# yesterday are In a terrible condition. Half of them are rusty. Salesman (Indignantly)—Well, what if ■ they arc? You don’t suppose we can manl- , cure every pound we send out, do you?— Boston Post. Md>| th« Uuw XML Moberly—You look pretty happy for a eaan who’s on his way to the dentist to have two teeth extracted. Hansom (With great joy)—You sat. If I . didn’t go to the dentist’s, I’d have to stay at home to my wife’s 6 o’clock tca.—Ohk oago Reward. Ht Qot XL 1 Mrs. Magun—l coma across one of your ' old letters today, George, whose you said i that you would rather be in endless tor- , tuentwlth me than be In bliss by yourself, i Mr. Magun—Well, my dear, I got my . wish,—London Tit-Bits. An Inference. ; “ You have saved my daughter, at the risk of your own life, from a watery grave, young man. May I infer from this that !’ou have tha means to establish a houseiold of your own?”—Fliogendo Blatter. Partial Intimacy. Caller—Are you Intimate with Mrs. i Firstlloor? Mrs, Thirdfloor—Well—er—our servant girls king our clothes ou the same roof.— * New York Weekly. Auu;Uioi f Jor». “Now, Charles, lot us make a list ol . yrurd.bt*." "''iii-. dear uncle, till I have ! ■ ‘Ilk;! vn ii,” iv-:st ■ r’iieg.-juii! Plat- ! for. j ,; , 4 1 -kh ! ! Ctoatwulli’t ift, fS VAK's I ntasout Gufc HsUsslM