Misther Dooley Visits Foxton.

Manawatu Herald, Volume XXVIII, Issue 3654, 2 June 1906, Page 2

Misther Dooley Visits Foxton.

The following is contributed to us as evidencing how the only “ Dooley ” was impressed with us on a recent visit he paid to our town :

“I see be th’ ‘ Manawartu Her-R-a.ed ’ that the Foxton Chamber-r av Commer-s-se has jist finished th’ fust year av its very useful existince,” said Mr Dooley, addressing his friend Mr Hinnissy. “It has that,” replied Mr Hinnissy, “ an’ no cridit t’ th’ risidints av Foxton. T’ lack av intrist in’ support accorded this noble instetooshun be th’ citizens av this town is appalin’.” “Y’ quite r-right, Jawn,” replied Mr Dooley, ‘‘if only th’ peopil av Foxton would pull to-gether-r this town moight r-rival even Par-r-miston itsilf, what with th’ flaxmill, th’ r-rope wor-rks, th’ Har-r-bour impur-uvements, electric loight, wharuf extiushun, up-to-date t’rain survice, watur supply an’ lavitory cars, etcetery.” “ I do heer ther. be 130 more peopil cornin’ heer t’ war’k in the rop-war’ks. Yis, the Chamber’r av Commurs-se as’ been doin’ its bist, but owin’ t’ th’ deplorable lack av intrist be th’ public an’ th’ shameful niglict be th’ Govinmint depa-r-tments their best so fa-r-r aint been very much, but they has hopes, Hespecially th’ chair-r-man th’ way he encouraged some av th’ faint hea-r-ted mimbers was noble. He said they was t’ keep on tryin’ till th’ desired obiec’ was attained. Faint hea-r-t nivir won fattu-r-key. Riminber-r B-r-ruce and the spider ? ” “What about these imp-r-ove-mints to the Bur-r-ow? ’’ inquired Mr Hinnissy. ‘‘l don’t see no need f th’ lectric loight when eccetelene gas is cheaper ! ” “Oh, doht y’,” said Misther Dooley. “ Neither do I, but th’ City Fathers ses that th’ electric loight was more up-to-date, and so it raus’ be th’ bist. Money’s no ob]ec’ ; look at th’ convainance; y’ jist touches a button an’ th’ lamp’s lit. Y’ won’t burn y’ fin-ge-r-s striking matches on y’ pants Hinnissv.” “ Nothin’ will make me believe that th’ electric loight is better ’n th’ eccetelin gas! ” replied Mr Hinnissy, “but what we want is a suitable water scheme.” “ Water schemes,” said Misther Dooley. “ y’ have plinty av that same, an’ some av th’ schemes published in th’ Her-R-aed was mighty brilliaht. When I read thim I thought that every wan av th’ councillors was ingineers ; but, subsequintly I found I was mistook. Howiver, some av thim was flax-mtilers, which is nea-r-ly as good. T’ my mind, th’ most brilliant scheme was th’ wan that suggisted that th’ water be carted fr’m the river in bar-r-els and left at every householders door, as if it was milk. Shure some min is geniouses! ”