THE FORGOT HERSELF.

Manawatu Herald, Volume XXVIII, Issue 3617, 8 May 1906, Page 4

THE FORGOT HERSELF.

& ant Thankful Wade Is Suddenly Surprised * by a Monkey. Much baa been said and written in regard to the ludicrous acts which persons commit fth4a suddenly overtaken by a surprising dUßoully ot by .ioma actual danger. Even the coolest nerves give way at timo« ( and judgment is momentarily overbalanced. Aunt Thankful Wade was no exception t« the general rule. Under ordinary dreumstanoea she was self possessed arid uaruffled, hut on one occasion she found the situation so very unexpected that a slight weakening was certainly to be excused. In her youth she had left her eastern Ipioo and taken up a claim near her Mother's sheep ranch in Montana. Living, alone, she had faced unflinchingly much danger and hardship, and enjoyed the reputation of being unusually fearless, i A few rode below her house was the little j railway station, and one day a box contain* i Ibg • live ihonkey Was deposited upon the i platform. Through the frail slats he soon found his way while the station master was busy, and five minutes later he confronted Aunt Thankful as she chopped kindling wood before her door, i With a shriek of dismay the startled woman ran into the house and shut the door, but the monkey, undaunted, leaped through the 7 by 9 window into the room. To reach the door again without passing the chattering creature Was impassible, and, Intending to be more discreet than valorous, Aunt Thankful ran into the pantry, landing with both feet in a huge pan of dough upon the floor. From this point she threw tin dishes, plates, knives, whatever she could reach, at her grinning opponent, all of which he deftly sriwi and returned with alacrity, At tins trying moment the station master appeared, and making a lasso from the clothesline secured his express package, which had gone so sadly astray. “Were you frightened, Aunt Thankful f” he asked.

“Well," she said, stepping forward with her Wonted dignity, “I don’t keertofheV him fur a etiddy boarder, nor I don’t keer ter play ball with an ape.” Tb !i looking down at her feet covered fl ith rim .-oft dough, she added: *'! Ain’t neater than most folks, but I ii :n‘t giuernlly knead my biscuits with my Ar-i. It Was the Clock. The i.uuUs of the clock pointed to the hour of 11. Dei.nr night, it was therefore 11 p. m. v j,.- l our when graveyards and . ■ • .vii. .!. ... ~. the young man calling on the ;vu-. - In fr.e» *u- in Action, gay or severe, the g i..uu never yawns. If lie did, the humorist might reverse tta yeifx-nn-l of Lis stories. ’ < 1. Are staled, the hour was 11 p. DB. ■; man was there, as was the girl. • i graveyard wasn’t, i i.e y.wn, however, was. The young man had been talking, talking, talking. All at once, by some strange power, his “ttention was directed to the clock. “Bless my soul,” he exclaimed, Tt is 11 o'clock.” ; "t!i - irirl assented eagerly, '■ !, - {•,. >■ il.,;t Ills watch. .. . I, •‘that dock is an bout j • i ..t him silently, persuasively .i. eloquently. . rt.-u ore not, are youf” she asked ;h,:tsly, and a minute later he was • dosing the front door behind him.A Smart I’aftot.

days ago a paragraph appeared in :Siw column relating to a parrot named i Is. owned by F. X. Ziegleroi Columbus, Mr. A. M. Ram bo of this city, who is acmiaintwl with Mr. Zeigler, says that • • idered one of the family and is i>. . naps* one of the most intelligent birds of .ts species in the world. Dick always takes a hand in household matters, Mr. Rarabo says. “If Mr. Zeigler’s son does not get up In the morning at the usual hour to go to the office, the parrot will say to the girl, ‘Call Clem,’ and he will insist on hla command being obeyed. I recollect on one occasion,” Mr. Rambo further says, “when the family were earnestly discussing some local event Dick broke in as follows, ‘Papa, do you love mamma?' ‘Yes, of course, I do,’ replied Mr. Zeigler, when the parrot blurted out, ‘Oh, you old fraudl’ ” ~~

Trifling With the Court. "You were arrested at midnight working on the safe of the bunk with a sledge hammer, and yet you protest that you are innocent,” said Judge Duffy to a burglar. “I am an innocent man, may it please your honor.” “It would please me very much to think that you were innocent. What was your object in trying to open the safe?” *“I only wanted to open the safe so as to get change for a $3 bill.” “But you didn’t have any 85 bill.” “I know that, Judge. I expected to And ogcas soon as I got the safe open.” *— Must Be Thick. Customer —This wool is all right, but not thick enough. 1 want a pair of socks, sir, that will warm an ioicle. Clark—But they are the heaviest made, air. Why, they ought to be thick enough for any man. - Customer—Those socks are not for a man, young fellowt they are for my wife to pot on an hour before she retires for the night. An Easy Argument. “Mother,” said Miss Hilda, “do you think Fritz ought to lounge in that haudsomo chair?” “Certainly not, Fritz,” said bis mother reprovingly, “you might break it.” “If it’s strong enough to hold Hilda and Mr. Helper," argued Fritz as he slowly slid down, “it ought to be strong enough to hold a little boy like me!” " “ It Would Be All Bight. _

He {after !' re** I<U«w’t think that 161 s exactly proper for rue to wear a sack coat. f!he (glancing at the clock)—lt will be 1b * 'vvr minutes.