HE PAID UP.

Manawatu Herald, Volume XXVIII, Issue 3642, 24 April 1906, Page 4

HE PAID UP.

A. Wedding That Cost Stuart Uwfcfon 93,000. "I read In the newspapers ope morning,” says Nat C. Goodwin, “that Lawrence Barrett’s daughter had been married, and that among the bridal gifts was a check for In, 000 from Stuart Robson- “ ‘That can hardly bo true,' thought I. •Robson and Barret arc great friends, but Rohsoli would not bo likely to give so much money as a wedding present. The newspapers must ho wrong,’ “A day or two later I met Robson in Brohtlway. " ‘Look here, old man,' said I. ‘How ijboUt that gift of $5,000 you are said to hare made to Larry Barrett's daughter? Have the newspapers been lying about you again f* “ ‘Nat,’ said ho solemnly, ‘it’s true—true »* gospel I Step out hero one side, (pad I’ll tell yon how it happened.’ "We retired to a convenient corner, and ftchsoil fold hie the whole story, iUld it BiUUscd me immensely “‘About two years ago last summer,' said ho, ‘a yotioj.; man '-ailed at my cottage in Cohnsset, bringing a letter of introduction from a friend in New York, I was as cordial as 1 could ho, aml Mm fellow kept calling off and on a)! summer Be- did not Interest me parti.-nhirlv, bn! h<* v,.u harmless. One day sc ,i io i; • *'r ‘'■•■b

SOU, that W ist: Barrett isacii wming gmi.” “ 1 “Ab, and so you have met the Barretts, have von'?’’ say« I.” “ ‘ “I have,” stivibe, "ami J regard Miss Barrett as one of the i.mst chc ruling young ladies I over saw ’’

" “She Is, my i".y. s; - is!’ says I, ‘Fitch In and win her, and the rinv you wed her ITI give y. u S.%UOU And he.tv’a (1 to bind the bargain."

“ “Nat, 1 pledge ; on my word 1 had no Idea that anythin;.-, further would ever come of the mat My bleu was to oncourage the fcllo-- in spend his time at Barrett’* cottage infm-ad of mi no. But he was In earnest, it. seems. I used to hear if hi* being v, j;h Aj 1 1 ;> litwr. ii .... good dual, and occasional!;;.- 1 won id ecot-bem sauntering aloHg* the bench listening to tho music of the >■ ' I I hr..- ■ ! .he .*.' h. • ■'' isllir... . . 1 .VI.-:*.- :!V>.lt two months nhi 1. II4U young man turned np at my cottage again, wearing a particnlarly triumphant smile. " ' “Sir Hobson.” said ho. “I'to done it." ”' ” Don. • '' ' .'i,. I ' • v- ...... ... -•■.•••- •• jrnyi Jhs, I’m i-r. marry i'tr!” •• • •"i.r..;. :-u ..re!" says I, for the ■ ■. vi t„i> wind uni. of me. m . ■.; .-s hi-., and then < ■ 1 Imd y, eti in \;.;i cheek Yo.--. you may not •••• it; but. Nat. tho fellow liiwl the bad t ;e t.. recall that I had promised to give a; a I)rid;!.! present in case lie won Isßivy tiavrett’s (humbler. My bay,” says I ns amiably as I jouid, "Stuart Robson never forgets and ho never viol'iio.s a pled ; ;e or a promise!” -- ‘The morning of 1 be, wedding I was too indi nosed In !>■■•!'.<* my bod. T ■ * '.iHin stutajr up too ia'e tho night be- - ; -ii friond So I called my said I, “are you going tc -her.” ‘■■The; .ike this check with you,” ,*ii-; i ■■ iy. --.in li;! 0.-t to .‘lisi; it, and after : a .* : it to the groom. But, k-;.-;, (!'.» not give it to him •• :;>-;:cr pronounces them for !.e might drop dead in When nr: daughter vcuu-nwl that oftvuoon, I sou’. " A ilela. is it all over?” ■' Yes father Ami did you {pvc him the check . ib-. *;i• !• • ’* Whui did he d 1 -a ami you gave it ' 11T. 1 -J ’ ■ Father, he cried. ” ” ’I was gratified, 1 will admit, that my trifling bouefac/,ion hr..’ touched his heart, yet I whs anxious to know tho full extent of hie appreciation. “ ‘ "Ho cried, did lie?” said 1. “How long did lie cry?” “ • “Father, I am nos -are, but I should say about a minute.” ‘"■"A minute I A minute!” said 1. ‘ , ” I cried an horn 1 before I signed that chock 1" * ” —Eugene Field in Chicago Record. Army Intelligence. As army officer, Captain Poker Chip, who |ias been dismissed from the army for duplicating his cash account, was seen walking on the street with 11 liul.v Several United States olTicow of tho club saw the couple, and Colonel Mountain Howitzer remarked to Major Blow: "1 can’t comprehend how Poker Chip has tho cheek to bo seen on the streets with a woman who would so far forget herself as to walk out with a man of his reputation.”—Texas Siftings. Warned In Tima. Mr. Hardnutt—l admit, air, that aw Ufa has not been what It should bo, hut I truly and unselfishly love your daughter, and If aver 1 give her a moment's pain 1 hop* . I'll be node to suffer torture fur It. Old Gentleman (warnlngly)—Oh, you wiUI Yea don’t know her.—Now York Weekly. In|OHlblt. Mm. BelleCeld—-Mrs. Oakland has a great aecrei Mrs. Bloomfield—Oh, not She can’t haya. “Why notr “If she bad, ehe would have told it to me."—Pittsburg Chronicle-Telegraph. Hint to Benedicts. "I don't like to Interfere in damesftlo affairs," says the Manayunk philosopher, “but 1 would suggest to the n.-srried man that it would be well for him to let his Wife bring up tho family while ho brings ap the coal.” —Philadelphia Record. A Peculiarity. ‘‘Money talks,” said tho confident mao. “Yes,” replied tho melancholy citizen, "but when it’s conversing with a poor relation it usually talks in a whisper.”— Washington Star. Defined. “What do wo mean by health?" asked tho teacher "Health," s !, id a timid little voice, "Is when yon’re real fat 'tlY have lots of skiu!” Youth's Cum I ,.auitm. Answered. “How many bells srw i? this chime?* asked the curious traveler. "Right, ail tolled,” said the soatou.— Indianapolis Journal.

YH£ CHH-DScN- ; l

Bright ft tomig "ami .vSuoy Source*. Little Edith wu..- hoard co.!>ln« from the Dvxt rooai, when sudd-mly there wa- ft jun-e Of something lot mil, probably hvr dolt, her mother thought. Says niMiiitw, "Did yon drop nomeiliitig, Edith!” Edith— Only ft footstep.—Boston Transcript. Little Frank had lons importuned his father, to buy him a pony- At lust papa naict, “If I were to got yon a pony, Frank, yott wouldn’t know what to. Coed him. ; “Oh, yes, I would, papa,” void led the > oy. . •“I’d feed him horse radish.” Pittsoerg Chronicle. j Mahy people who talk with simplicity |ud correctness become at one# unnatural fend awkward when they take up the pen. go It was With Johnny Bates. In the reading lesson there was a reference to soma one who had “contracted a cold,’ and tM teacher called attention to the word “cob* ttadted.” To “contract a cold, he «• plained, “meant nothing more than to catch a cold.” That af'vruoon Johnny had to write a composlticr. md Hire b sensible bov chose for Lis subject an WCQljlll ™ * fishing excursion. On the whole It wns 8 } pretty creditable performance for a boy of JoMiiy’s age, but the teacher was boliged to laugh when lie came to this sentence, "I Ashed half au hour and contracted perches ami one hornpout.”—Youth's Com paiiion. Harry—When I get to he a man, I’m going to let my whiskers grow. Mamma— Why so, my boyf Harry—Tin a I won’t have only a little bit of my face to wash,— Boston Courier.

Little Boy—Mamma, I want a lot of soap and some warm water. Mamma—l’d rather you wouldn’t blow bubbles today. “I wants to wash my hands.” “Oh! Vi by, of course, my pet. You want your hands to be nice and clean, don’t you, dear?” “Yes’m. We is goin to play theatricals, and I’m to dress up as u girl.”—Good News. Mamma (to Johnny who has fallen on the sidewalk)—There, Johnny, don’t cry; lie a little man. Johnny—And Fay the things that pa does when anything hurts Waif— Boston Transcript. After the dinner at the cafe Bobby noticed with bulging eyes the heaping pile of change which the waiter brought back to his father. “Oh, papal" he exclaimed. “Oh, papa, I’d like a plate of that too!”—Tlt-BiU, IlHlOk The tailor’s bride, with haggard, anxious free, gated acres? ths stormy aca. At her feet the breakers moaned upon ths rocky reef. “Bring him back, bringblmback tome!" •he walled.

The storm buffeted her, and the spray dashed over her.

"How s«o I bring him baekf” And tha summer girl, who had chanced to wandflff near In her reefing jacket and high rubber boots, suggested: “Make him jealous of you." The wind rose and shrieked.—Detroit Tribune. AS Viva o’Oleek Tea,

“That’s an uncommonly pretty girl ovei there pouring tea.” "Yes; she Is one of the reigning belle* this season.” ' “Ah, these belles never reign but they pour.”—Life, Surprising:. Yankee exaggeration is n trick that works bo: u ways. It is most amusing perhaps wln-u it takes the form of understatement. An old lady was alone in a very old house when the walla suddenly collapsed, and the house came tumbling down around her. Her escape was little short of a miracle, bu: she was taken from the ruins entirely uninjured. When asked what her sensation j were v.h;m the bouse fell, she said: "Well, to tell the truth, I was considerably skeered—l rcely was.”—Youth’s Companion. Her Explanation, Maggie had had the toothache for soma time, and the iodine which had been prescribed proving inellYofual her mistress procured another remedy ul t ~e drug store. Thinking to impress her with the necessity of being careful in tiie of it, ‘■he said: “Now, Maggie, do you see the skull and crossbones on the label, just as !hey wort on the bottle of iodine? Do you know what they mean?” “Yesi, ma’atV’ replied Maggie. “They mean that It’s for the teeth."— Arkansas Traveller. Aa Xaeape. “Tea uy, Hr. Clarkere,” said his «a> player, “that you will be compelled to leave town for a time. Have you any Idea how Uog y«a will be absent?” “Well, not exactly," said Mr. darken absently, “But I’ll be sore to be bock about the time Maria’s got the moving all dane.”—Chicago Record. Waver Scold. Mother—lt is time to make some inquiries about that young man who now calls to see Clara. Father—He bos not been coming more than a week. Mother—No matter. 1 heard Clara scolding little Johnny for peeking through keyholes.—Good News. terry He Spoke. Mr, ®rumpp*—What Idiotic things they Be pilot on the women’s page of this newspaper! Mr*. Qrumppa—Yes. I wish they would discharge the fellow and put a woman in charge of it.—New York Weekly. Used to It. He—lt must be very hard for these poof emigrants coming a* strangers to live in a foreign laud. She (complacently)—Cut remember, dear, they have always lived in foreign lauds.— —Vogue. Would Shine lu Washington. “Mrs. Bexby isn’t handsome when yon tea her closely, but at a distance she look* magnificent.” “Yen, she’s a woman of magnificent dia tenet...” -Chicago Tribuna