Untitled

Manawatu Herald, Volume XXVIII, Issue 3638, 12 April 1906, Page 4

GOI It »l jt,esl.

He had been riding on the rear platform of a Grand River avenue cur for a mile oi more and Boomed to bo studying t!;o conductor’s fane all the time. At length he plucked up the courage to say: “1 don’t know nothin ’bout Toctriocavs, and so am goin to ask. 'Vbat docs it mean when the boys say, ‘Shoot that hat!’ ” “I never heard of It in connection with an electric car,” replied the conductor. “Haven’t, oh? Did you over hour of a car talkln through the top of its hat?” “Never.” “Don’t they over toll a ’lootrio carlo Ohcese the racket?” “Good lauds, no!” “Are there any flics on a * lootrio car?” persisted the questioner. “There may be, but I doubt it. I guess you’ve got things pretty badly mixed up. ’’ “Yes, mebbo I hcv, ” replied the stranger with a long drawn sigh, “and I guess the best way will bo to catch a conductor off fluty and git on to his shape and give him a powwow. Much obliged for your kindness. I’ll cork my oar and dry up. ”—Detroit Freo Press. Accommodating.

' 'lull ■ cm. I you; i. ... Redbud-- ' v c : -I on •■■•(At i■ 1 v i’ll hold r-.es —3" ii'klrn ! iM No Sinister Motive. "Is this Mr Hoddiucors?” hi. ” “My j«,arm. is Plunkett lam acquaint,l v. 1.!■ • c ) . i;is id Philadelphia . *•’-> -’■v.'-Mir-lnu l>;irino«!« ms i nun One •s. apt to forgo,, you know Is there any’hiug 1 can do for you. Mr,— Mr.” — “Plunkett, sir —Fluiiicelt. Youf name, I think, is Heddiuwr.--,: ’’ “Yes, sir. Is there’’— I i .-.'r vnn can -Cdi. 3 i... if for <• hen I tuld .Jacobson tne oi.;cr day 1 was coming out this wav, he im tie me promise to hunt you tip- rut .mi;:!: • hands wiili you. Said .on w. .3 1 . ..s.;; -o ,-sv me. 1 udd hiiil >. was on. i . ■■ ~t or my line to guarcoud •julherlng lui.ts in tins way, but he would not listen to any object iuii. That’s why 1 am hero. I didn’t come to slay. I’m not hunting for a job. i don’t ward to borrow any money or ■ ■■■ <u> you tV-.p a lunch. No, ■ 3 uiing 1(; 1 ■■-on, •ioou!” “Yes,” said Mrs iiunnlmune, “she seemed liko a very good nalured and capable servant. But 1 couldn’t keep her.” “Was the work too hard for her?” “No; she said the place wag just to hei liking In most respects. There was only one objection.” “What was that?” “My clothes wouldn’t lit her.’’ —Washington Star. Corrected. Mr. Emerson Hub (reading newspaper) —The cashier made no bones of taking the Whole sum. Mrs. Hub—How vulgarly put! Mr. Hub—How woifld you express It, my dear? Sirs. Hub—The cashier made no study In osteology of appropriating the financial assets. —Minneapolis Journal. Too Muck. Customer—These nails I bought here yesterday are in a terrible condition. Holt of them are rusty. Salesman (Indignantly)—Well, what if they are? You don’t suppose we can manicure every pound we send out, do youf— Boston Post. Taking the teaser Evil. Moberly—You look pretty happy fora man who’a bn his way to the dentist to have two teeth extracted. Hansom (with great joy)—Yon see, If I didn’t go to the dentist’s, I’d have to stay at home to my wife’s 5 o’clock tea.—Chi cago Record. He Got It. Mrs. Magtm—l oamo across one of your old letters today, George, where you said that you would rather be In endless tormentwlth me than bo in bliss by yourself. Mr. Maguu—Well, my dear, I got my wish. —London Tit-Bits. ' An Inference. “You have saved my daughter, at the risk of your own life, from a watery grave, young man. May I infer fro., this that sou have the means to ewnhlish a bouse hold of you? iiwii'-'' - !• A- BlaUor ! Oalk-i-—Are .•/.>;! uuiiiiaio with Mrs Pi": ■ door? Thlrdilo- •> Well —er — our servant gir-s ic\i.g our ei -2:, -; on iho same roof.— New York W-.vkl- ‘' /10-v, niabn a- list of pour u ’ •. : li'i -1 I --- ,;till 1 have Hl’. 3 n- I;'!---