THOSE DIAMONDS.

Manawatu Herald, Volume XXVIII, Issue 3627, 22 March 1906, Page 4

THOSE DIAMONDS.

Writ. LfimbkJn Slid n’t Ciomit on Snell is&4 Lull;. Young Mrs. Lambkin was deiighthd to sec her dear Marie when she balled;, liidoed ehli nksiiml her of the fact herself. "I Was beginning to fear lest you were unable to come, ns you expected," she .remarked, “It was growing so late.” “Oli, I was determined to come. You see, it wiS! lie my last chance before I go, and GuUfin'bl.i Sa so fad a Way that iirihjr not be buck in Chicago for untold ages.” “Yes, indeed, you poor exile. But ncy tt mind. Your huaiaintl may iuahdenough money to enable you to live in Chicago some day." “No doubt. But of course I should not bo satisfied unless I had my owe. home—though really your little flat, moms very nice, and no doubt you are quite contented In ic." “Oh, yes! One could be contented anywhere with Alexius. You here no idea how happy wq are;” “Indeed 1 always quite liked him in the days when ho spent most cf bis time at our hou.-e. ” “Yes, I remember. It wm immediately aeref-s from my borne. He could keep -.Vit 1 ch on ail nt;/ nu.-.enuuus from yom "Very likely. 1 remember that you vi r.) gi; ■■■ ecf i|., t windows, ■ you l-..d Mils a p.Va.-;;iU i.e.-gliborhoud?” " Quite so I'm always afraid of burns, ami now I shall be more so than 'i .-iiiou-a bo .awfully afraid myrelf. .. .him, 1 received such hamijoiue Wed'S;.caking of prestilibs, ” lhi.o. flu! pled Mrs, 1.-ambki.i ~s r’.o drew ont a ease cud tu'wed it, "r';d,.v is my liirtiuiay, and sea —.l- a lovely gift my husband brought me. ” " D. ! ««jiond;;I" ga -’.ed Marie. “How lovely! —but i*> n’t. y:sl afraid ho will ruin hlnu-Bli’ yivi.-.g you such expensive t-Jiinps? I ■ Jsonthink of allowing my hu«.bato (i.i it.” “ But, then, tlear Alexius is such a good buv : i'.-s.s iy.m i.\. can quite afford it.” “Wtio would have thought it in the days when ho used to coma to see”— “I was surprised when lie gave it to me. I badi/i the leas I idea—why, here cornea Alexius hllusdL Wh-Ucvcr has brought him home so early I .day? Just givouio that ca.m, will you, dear? Ho—he always ha I . l'-s di-o’.a ~" “Oh. busker! Wind if ho does? I h.verdfbyi; a.eknl at it. Do you quite lii. .•lie; sc: id.pi- V, by, Mr. Lambkin, how do you do v ! mu just admiring dear En-dc-Ti s (i.vc-i; diamonds." "Ladjii. Lambkin, wherever did you get loose things?” queried her husband, oblivious of the signs aim Was making to him. And juat then the doer opened once im re. and too head of the hired girl appeared. " If you please, Mrs. Lambkin,” she remarked, “Iho young man from Stone & fil; vers Is hero to a-A about them there diamonds they ecu! on approval. ” in Uni slight p.iuri.i which followed dear M’.rio arose, smilir.g, and said ihat she ready must go. ;

; Vendor she comes, ” said a tall, lank n./u! who was silling ou a trunk near the ; railroad station. ■■ Vendor who comes?” asked a fat, heavy man who sat near him. J "Thu train,” ret lied the lank man. i "Why do you say, ‘ Yonder site comes?’ 11 j tiai. d the fat man. ”Vi ell, that’s the customary way of ' speaking of a train, isn’t it? And custom is w hat fixes things. Everybody says, .! : Yonder she comes, ’ in speaking of a ■ train s approach.” | J’VVI!, I insist you should have said, j ‘ Yonder he comes. ’ ” j “<h!, pshaw! Nobody ever says‘ho’ in J spu.Uiag of a train,” returned tho lean in;;;. "V,’<'ll.ru agree to leave it to tho station agent and see if it wouldn’t have been h<’t:—r Per you to have said, ‘ Yonder he aome.;, " addl'd the fat man. Loth agreed to it, and when they had found the agent the fat man asked: “What is tho train just coming Into the it'd ion:” “It’s a mail train,” ho answered. Ti en (lie lean man went out and bought « .'Mid cigar for the fat man. An Incentive.

“And 1 only married to reform youl” “ Ycsh, but of cursh a man drlnk.d; more If be marries such a fool as that.”And There Are None Thera. In the large display window of one of the leading drug stores of Alexandria, Va., Is displayed a largo sign covering one end of the window, with the inscription, "A few good substantial loafers wanted to gl and in front of this window.” ~ * A Free Hooter. She (haughtily )~Did I hoar you call my father a pirutef lie (rubbing his coattail)—l merely said that he was a free hooter. Tying Her Shoe. Bho stood by a door that was festooned With flowers, While the sound of the waits floated lustily through, And young bloods of fas!don and maids with fat dowers Stood watching us while I was tying her shoe. She wore a red .-.luokiii”, soft, dellcato silk, Her ankle just turned to perfection—yes, two, And the edge of her petticoat, whiter than i. Ik, i saw, and J trembled—when tying her shoe. ■ h. in--, for the days of young love and yotiug li.V. i’t the days when my cares were both trilb a;.' and fowl t hc.-i-i long year,) I’ve been calling her “wife," ■ud now think it a boro—when I’m tying her shoe.

A Man iv-w ',-M •. ■'.'be v/;.v iUvMj oue nig-.t la-.r. Wee'L hii f-nmdia wailing i> tall, cadaverous ioo.umg ivn l ;), with ins b."t Cbv.Wn ilu'Tl i.Wcr ids L\ L-:: .1 fort of '• ipt>; cXpcCdlw; .■ ill hi-,W.demeanor. ilO 11. once .-trait lilly approached t.u- officer and h.» w.wi.v •••;.• ;);■»■! fl; “i)., yr..:i V: inf U) lice tin hour longer m the Lice earth’” rir---. .vo a; throe of them,” replied tha officer a.o itti backM away to size mu hum up. “Then for heaven’s sake look out for him.” “Who do vim mean?” “He's here and bin here all day. Wonder Is thitt he hi.; t broke loose and killed two Of three men before this.” “Then there’s some one around who’s go* lug to brink loose?” quietly asked the officer. '“blush! Not so loud, hie may jump oft you any minute.” ‘ Who i:.-. the ‘he’ yon r< Nr to?” “Bad man—bad man 1 rom Cad Ax. Bin h; ie a!! dry 1 ;o;:in fur ir,-. Jest chankln bis teeth end foam in at the. mouth. Ha Won't be able to hold himself much longer, t’lii afraid.’' “A ml if he breaks loose?” “Then look out fur gore. I’ve seen him loose two cr three times, and I know what he Un do. lie ain’t got no more mercy in his heart than a tiger.” “Perfectly reckless as to consequences ia he?” “Perfectly. He'd tackle a man as big as it Louse, and the man lio tackles is a goner 111 Hired hi in its; Jest slaina and bangs and chaws, and the man is dead. I’ve bin waitin here to gin yon a piuter. If you haiu’t got wings, you’d better bower a pair and fly.”

.“This bad man from Bad Ax —is he about Jour size!”’ asked, 'he officer without betraying any particular emotioii. ‘Jest about my size and heft,” “And has the same dangerous appearance?”

“Jest about the same, or a little more flangerouser.” “Well,” said the officer us ho spat on his hands and. reached out for a neck ami hip hol'.lj “I’ve been wiorjug to meet that man from Bad Ax for the last two months, and now that I’ve met him I shall proceed to”

And he lifted the man high, and whirled him around hi:s head, and cracked Ins heels against tha wharf railing, and finally let him drop with a "kerchug” on the planks and asked; “Well, has the bad man from Bad Ax got enough?” “Plenty, sir—plenty,” replied the man as he got up. “Got all through chawin and chankin?” “All through, sir.” “Then I guess you’d ladder make tracks.” “Exactly. Here they are,”

And he flew up the avenue and whipped around info Woodbridgo street with what seemed a cloud of dust whirling around his coattails and rising up to mingle with long black hair.—Detroit Free Press. Her Programme. “I have my programme pretty well arranged now,” said the earnest young woman. “Sunday I devote to religious exercises of course; Monday to Delsarte and calisthenics; Tuesday the walking club takes its outing; Wednesday we Study Mollere; Thursday we discuss the probability of woman attaining the ballot, and Friday Is devoted to uplifting the poor.” 'Tint what do you do Saturday, dear?” “Oh, that’s the day for training my husband.”—lndianapolis Journal. Ko May Day Terrors. Weary William (in hayloft)—Sort o’ comfortable, ain’t it? Pilfering Peter—Heg’lar luxury, that ! » wot it is! Ko (icons to lock, no shutters to bolt, no windows to fasten, no kitchen flra to look after, no potted plants to move about, i. o !:;;.ht to bother with, and no nervous wife to us a gallivautin around on lb’ cold floors half a dozen times a night lookiu fer burglars.—London Weekly.

It Ought to 80. Pigley—Shull you send your eon tocol* iiogson—Nu. I had one set up hero for him. > i’igsley—What do;;t consist o£? Hogsou—A gym nasi urn in the hennery, & sawdust ring in the open lot, u shell in the din k pond, d e smokehouse for a secret so cicty and hunches of cigarettes. Puck A Bait. Wither!:;, - —WVve been wit hunt a servant for a week now, but ’ ywife is nal good. She sets up first eve... turning mid starts tin; fire. Planhiugton—How do you con t: i veto get ht r up? Witberhy—Easy enough. I leave a lot of Change In my trousers pocket.—Clonk Review. She Brer,’ the Bine. “So you have thrown your new admirer overboard?” “You bet. Just aa koou as I learned he was a dairyman.” "What had that to do with it?” “Considerable. None of your milk and water chaps for me.”—Buffalo Courier. Immlt to Injury. “It wasn’t her eatin the apple afore m« 1 that made me mad,” remarked Emily, tho i 10-year-old tenant of the Ash ally tenement, ! as a sob broke from her throat. “It was her ! offerin me the core w’en the entire avnoo I was lookin on.”—Chicago Record. i

A Good One. Susie (at her music lesson)— l’d like to catch an old air I heard in tho music room last night. Professor—What air was that? Susie (demurely)—Oh, it was a millioaHire I—Tit-B its. The Latest Thing.

Too Much to Ash. “There ia one sign that should be placed over every letter box in the city." "What is that?" "Post no bills,”—Yale Record. The Perversity of Girls, Jamesby—Do you think she’ll have youf Nettles—Why, Pm sure of it. Her family are all bitterly opposed to in a.—Chicago Record