Page 4 Advertisements Column 2

Manawatu Herald, Volume XXVII, Issue 3500, 23 March 1905, Page 4

SHE FORGOT HERSELF, *| Aunt Thankful Made Is Suddenly Surprised- . by !» Monkey. 1 Much has been strd and written inregan? j, to the It; ,1 lev; v -v. nh.h persons commit f whor ,;au,uiiy overtaken by a surprising difficulty or by some actual (bn'ter. Even the coolest, nerves give vsy judgment i- iiy ■'< Aunt Thankful Wade was no except/ the general rule. Under ordinary cu stances she was self possessed and u. fled, but on one occasion she found the ation so very unexpected that a slight we Smug was certainly to be excused. In her youth she had left her easthome and taken up a claim near L-. brother’s sheep ranch iu Montana. Livi alone, she bed t --"''A U! ,n, n. 'y danger-’■-t re.sou utation or bcimf unusiuuly iturless. 1 A fev. J. •••,., her eOu y railway station, and onociay a ho;, containing a live monkey was deposited upon the platform. Through the frail slats he soon found his tray while the station master was busy, anti five minutes later ho confronted Aunt Thankful as she chopped kindling wood before her door. , With a shriek of dismay the startled woman ran into the house and shut the door, but the monkey, undaunted, leaped through the 7 by 0 window into the room. To reach the door again without passing the chattering creature was Impossible, and, intending to be more discreet than valorous, Aunt Thankful ran into the p—try, lauding with both fret i« ” of dough upon x'-.rp . From tliis poh.t • ’’ " plates, knives, wi . , . ••a..* mixn, a her grinning opp nent, all of which he dv' Itr ly seized and returned with alacrity. At this trying moment the station master appeared, and making a lasso from the clothesline secured his express package, which had gone so sadly astray, j “Were you frightened, Aunt Thankful?” I ho'asked. I “Well,” she said, stepping forward with her wonted dignity, “I don’t keerterhev him fur a stiddy hoarder, nor I don’t keer ter play ball with an ape.” 1 Then looking down at her feet covered ■ with the soft doucrh, she added: “I ; JW', but ! don’t gil:C ; ... J - i.':-,CU*U» Viih U-J I feet.”’ ■ It Was the Clock. The hands of the clock pointed to the hour of 11. Being night, it was therefore 11 p. m. It was the hour when graveyards and other things yawn. All except the young man calling on the girl. In fact or in fiction, gay or severe, the young man never yawns. If he did, the humorist might reverse the personnel of his stories. { As before stated, the hour was 11 p. m. ■ The young man was there, as was the girl, ; but the graveyard wasn’t. The yawn, however, was. The young man had been talking, talking, talking. All at once, by some strange power, his attention was directed to the clock. “Bless my soul,” he exclaimed, *it is 11 o’clock.” “Yes,” the girl assented eagerly. Then he took tfut hia watch. “Why," he said, “that clock is an hour fast.” She looked at him silently, persuasively appealingly, eloquently. “But you are not, are you?” she asked tremulously, and a minute later he was softly closing the front door behind him.A Smart Parrot. Several days ago a paragraph appeared in this column relating to a parrot named Dick, owned by F. X, Ziegler of Columbus, Pa. Mr. A. M. Rambo of this city, who Is acquainted with Mr. Zeigler, says that Dick is considered one of the family and is perhaps one of the most intelligent birds of its species in the world. Dick always takes a hand iu household matters, Mr. Rambo j says. “If Mr. Zeigler’s son does not get up j in tho morning at the usual hour to go to tho office, the parrot will say to the girl, ‘Call Clem,’ and he will insist on his command being obeyed. I recollect on one occasion,” Mr. Rambo further says, “when tho family were earnestly discussing some local event Dick broke in as follows, ‘Papa, do you love mamma?’ ‘Yes, of course, I do,’ replied Mr. Zeigler, when the garret blurted out, ‘Ob, you old fraudl’ Trifling With the Court. “You were arrested at midnight working on the safe of the hank with a sledge hammer, and yet you protest that you are innocent,” said Judge Duffy to a burglar. “I am an innocent man, may it please your honor.” “It would please me very much to think that you were innocent. What was your object in trying to open the safe?” “I only wanted to open the safe so as to get change for a S 3 bill.” “But you didn’t have any $3 bill.” “I know that, judge. I expected to find one as soon as I got the safe open.”Must Be Thick. Customer—This wool Is all right, but not thick enough. I want a pair of socks, sir, that will warm an icicle. Clerk—But they are the heaviest made, sir. Why, they ought to he thick enough for any man. Customer—Those socks are not for a man, young fellow; they are for my wife to pul on an hour before she retires for the night. Si. - An Easy Argument. “Mother,” said Miss Hilda, “do you think Fritz ought to lounge in that handsome chair?” “Certainly not, Fritz,” said his mother reprovingly, “you might break it.” “If it’s strong enough to hold Hilda and Mr. Leiper,” argued Fritz as he slowly slid down, “it ought to be strong enough to hold a little hoy like me!”

It Would Be All Right,

He (after three hours)—l don’t think that It Is exactly proper for me to wear a sack coat. She (glancing at the clock)—lt will bo In e few minutes.* J^~ Viambtriaitt's'PUSSUm PREVENT BBbGHINOi