Page 4 Advertisements Column 2

Manawatu Herald, Volume XXVII, Issue 3498, 18 March 1905, Page 4

Wanted to Join. A llttlo dried up man whoso nationality was imprinted plainly on his face walked into the First National bank the other day, gazed furtively about, hesitation in his every movement. Thou he as quickly and unostentatiously left the great room, his hand shoved deep into his trousers pocket. In a few minutes ho reappeared, determination written in every deep line of his rugged face, though his manner did not lack hesitation. He stared about him until ho espied a lino of patrons making deposits at tho receiving teller's window, and at the foot of the lino he took his place As one after aim+Vr of tho customers made his deposit and departed tho llttlo old fellow drew nearer and nearer to tho window, and at each advance his uneasiness increased and his courage departed. When almost to the goal, he turned abruptly, wagged his head in a deprecatory sort of way, and again took a plaeo at the tail end of tho lino he had climbed so patiently. A second time ho approached the window by slow degrees and a second time ho turned away when his hopes were about to be realized. The third time ho toiled up that ever varying lino and it was apparent that this time ho would do or die. Only two men stood between him and the teller, and ho shifted restlessly from one foot to another. Only one man now kept him from tlm counter and his agita- ! tion increased. That one man turned away. I Tho little old man’s time had come at 1 last! lie jerked his hand from his pocket 1 and with it a lingo roll of greasy and oft fingered bills. Ho dashed tho money clown I Jn front of the puzzled teller and in a voice husky with emotion, excitement and suppressed nervousness exclaimed loud enough to ho heard 100 feet away: “Oi want t’ jino tho bank!” He wanted to open an account and no one interposed an objection.—Chicago Tribune. Her Mania For Funerals. As women advance in years, it has been noticed, a fondness for attending funerals becomes manifest in their characteristics, but a young woman who has this tendency Is extremely rare. Such a one, however, told this story on herself in a little social coterie the other day: “I don’t know why it is,” she stated, “but I have always had a mania for funerals. When I was a child, I never could get past a door that had crape on it. 1 would always mingle with tho visitors and go in and see the dead person, whether I knew tho family or not. The melancholy which pervades such scenes has always had a relish for mo, I can’t fell why. Not long ago, however, I had such a peculiar experience that my fondness for burials has temporarily languished—perhaps I’m cured. “An acquaintance died, and I, of course, arranged my plans to attend the funeral. At tho time I dressed and repaired to her church. As I was delayed a little, I sat down in a rear seat. There I heard the hymns and tho discourse, and joined copiously in tho mourning. I remember now how I wept and wept until people near mo regarded mo curiously. I was too used up to go to the grave and went home. At dinner my husband said; “ ‘What makes your eyes so red?' ‘“I have been to Mrs. Wilbur’s funeral, ’ I answered. “Ho looked a trifle queer, and then said: “ ‘No, you haven’t; she isn’t to ho buried until tomorrow.’ ” —Louisville Cour’crJournal. Au Indication. Mr. Northsido walked into his parlor the other night and was rather surprised to see his daughter sitting on young Mr. Hilltop’s lap. The young people were surprised too. The older man was tho first to recover his equanimity, and as Miss Northsido found her feet ho remarked: “Ah, Lucyl I see your race for a husband is nearly over.” “What makes you say that, papa?” asked tho girl, blushing painfully. “Yon seemed to be on tho last lap.”— Pittsburg Chronicle-Telegraph. Parental Reproof. “It seems to mo, Laura,” celled out Mr. Kajoucs, who was trying to read his newspaper, “you are doing a good deal of unnecessary talking and cackling in there. What are you about?” “I’m merely sitting by George, ” demurely answered Miss Laura from the parlor. “Well, I wish you would make less noise, by George!” rejoined Mr. Kajoucs.—Chicago Tribune. Hl* Presence of Mind Saved Him. -Life. Not Much Bisk. Examining Physician (for insurance company)—l’m afraid we can’t take you, sir. You are too great a risk. Applicant (resignedly)—Well, perhaps 1 am. Tho fact is that when I got sick I never send for a doctor. I just lie around until I get well. Examining Physician—Eh? Um—we’ll take you!—New York Weekly. More Information. Tommy—Paw, what is an egotist? Mr. Figg—Ho is a man who thinks he Is smarter than any one else, Mrs. Figg—My dear, you have that wrong. Tho egotist is the man who says he is smarter than any one else. All men think that way.—lndianapolis Journal. It Was Effective, Though. Mrs. Wiggles—What did Mr. Waggles say when ho proposed to you? Mrs. Waggles—Do you know, we both of us tried to remember that the very next day, and neither of us could,—Somerville (Miss.) Journal. Absorbing. “I don’t believe that Timmins ever had an original idea In his life.” “Oh, I know of one. He has an idea that he is a great poet.”—lndianapolis Journal. The Important Fart. “I would die for you,” passionately exclaimed the rich old suitor, and the practical girl calmly asked him; “How soon?”—Somerville Journal. What’s In a Name?- “ Why did you name your baby Niagara?*' “Because she roars so.” — Detroit Frea Press. Zbumbtrhln’s 'S Übkts aww ■ILOHINO.