Page 4 Advertisements Column 2

Manawatu Herald, Volume XXVII, Issue 3494, 9 March 1905, Page 4

NOT DANGEROUS. A Man Fmn End Ax Who S'a Easllj Ov click. V/hcn a Woodward avenue. patrolman arrived at. the loot of the avenue atl) o'clock one night lasi, week, lie found in waiting a tall, cadaverous looking chap, wit!) his hat drawn down over hi;; eye.; and a sort of tiptoe expectancy in hi- - gem-m! Demeanor. Ho at once, stealt liily n pproached the officer and hoarsely wlm-pcm!: vou v. ::t • > live an hour longer on tbw face of this earth?” •‘Yes, sir-two or three of them,” replied the officer ns he backed away'to size his man up. “Then for heaven’s sake look out for him.” “Who do you mean?” “Jit's horn and bin here all day. W onder is that ho ain't broke loose and killed two or three men before this.” “Then there's some one around who's going to break loose 1” quietly asked the officer. “Hush! Not so loud. lie may jump on you any minute.” “Who is the ‘he’ you refer to?” “Dad man—bad man from had Ax. Bin here all day lookin fur a row. Jest chankin his teeth and foam In at the moutu. Ho won't be able to hold himself muca longer, I’m afraid.” “And if he breaks loose?” “Then look out fur gore, I’ve seen him loose two or three tunes, and I know what lie kin do. lie ain’t got uo more mercy in his heart than a tiger.” “Perfectly reckless as to consequences is lit?” “Perfectly. He’d tackle a man as big as n house, and the man ho tackles is a goner iu three minits. Jest slams and bangs and chaws, and the man is dead. Tve bin waitin here to gin you a pinte.r. If you hnin't pot wings, you’d better borrer a pair and fly.” “Tliis bad man from had Ax —is ho. nbont your sine?” asked the officer without, betraying any particular emotion. ‘'Jest about my size and heft,” “And lias the same dangerous appearance?” “Jest about the same, or a little more flange rouser.” “Well," said the officer as lie spat on Ida hands find reached out for a neck and hip hold, “I’ve been wanting to meet that man from had Ax for the last two mouths, and now that I’ve met him I shall proceed to” And ho lifted the man on high, and whirled him around his head, and cracked his heels against, the wharf: railing, and finally let him drop with a “kerchug” on the. planks and ashed: “Well, has the had man from had Ax got enough?” “plenty, sir—plenty,” replied the man as he got up. “Got all through chavvin and chankin?’’ “All through, sir.” “Then I guess you’d better make tracks," “Exactly. Here they are.” And ho flew up the avenue and whipped around into Woodbridgo street with what seenied a cloud of dust whirling around his coattails and rising up to mingle with long black hair.—Detroit Prec Press. Hor Programme. “I have my programme pretty well arranged now,” said the earnest young woman. '“Sunday I devote to religious exercises of coiiv,'. ’: Monday to Delsarlo and calisthenics; Tuesday the walking club takes its outing; Wednesday we study Moliere; Thursday we discuss tlie probability of woman attaining the ballot, and Friday ia devoted to uplifting tho poor.” “But what do you do Saturday, dear?” “Oh, that's the day for training my husband.”—lndianapolis Journal. No 31 ay Day Terrors. Weary William (in hayloft)—Sort o' comfortable, ain’t it? Pilfering Peter—HogTar luxury, that’s wot itisl "No doors to lock, no shutters to holt, no windows to fasten, no kitchen fire to look after, no potted plants to move about, no light to bother with, and no nervous wife to iend us a gailivantiu around on th’ cold floors half a dozen times a night lookin i'er burglars. —London W'eekly. It Ought to Do. Pigley—Shall you send your son to college? ■ Hogson— No. I had one set up here for him. Pigsley—What does it consist of? Hogson— A gymnasium in the hennery, a sawdust ring iu the open lot, a shell in the duck pond, the smokehouse for a secret society and 400 bunches of cigarettes.—Puck. A Bait. Witberby—We’ve been without a servant for a week now, bub my wife is real good. She gets up first every morning and starta the fire. Plankington—How do you contrive to get her up? Witberby—Easy enough. I leave a lot of change in my trousers pocket.—Cloak Review. ' She Brow the lane. “So you have thrown your new admirer overboard?” “You bet. Just aa soon as I learned ha was a dairyman.” “What had that to do with it?” “Considerable. None of your milk and water chaps for me.”—Buffalo Courier. Insult to Injury. “It wasn’t hor eatin the apple afore ma that made me mad,” remarked Emily, tho 10-year-old tenant of the Ash ally tenement, as a sobbrokefrom her throat. “It washer offerin me the core w’en the entire avnoo was lookin on.”—Chicago Record. A Good One. Susie (at her music lesson)—l’d like to catch an old air I heard in the musio room last night. Professor— What air was that? Susie (demurely)— Oh, it was a million-aire!—Tit-Bits. The Bat ost Thing. %m /S J 1 i / \ IP THIS WHT NOT THIS? —Life. ' Too Much to Ask. i “There is one sign that should, be placed over every letter box iu the city.” f “What is that?” “Post no bills.’!—Yale Record. Tho Perversity of Girls. Jamesby—Do you think she’ll have youf Nettles—Why, I’m sure of it. Her family are all bitterly opposed to me. —Chloagu Record. C hmbtrhin’s TSiIS tablets PREVENT BELCHING.