Page 4 Advertisements Column 2

Manawatu Herald, Volume XXVII, Issue 3493, 7 March 1905, Page 4

It Was Not i* Natural Hump. Ho got out of his wagon in front of a Woodward avenues clothing store and said to the floorwalker, who mot him at the door: “I’m thinkin some of buyin a suit of clothes. D’ye think they kin fit mo here?” “Oil, ccrtai nly! Take tho elevator, ’ ’ was the reply. When a salesman came to look him over, tho case was different, however. He notlccd that tho farmer had a large and decided hump between his shoulders, and after a little ho made bold to say: “It will bo hard work to get an exact fit on account of your misfortune, but I’ll do tho best I can.” “What misfortin?" was tho query. “Why, that hump. It makes it very bad, you see.” “That hump? Oh, you kin take that ofT I .Test reach up your hand and pull it out. That’s no natcral hump, but a turnip the ole woman crowded in under my vest.” “So It is, ” exclaimed tho dork ns he brought it out to view. “Why on earth are you wearing that around?” “She put it in thur to make me remember that I was to buy a fine comb. Hero, write it down before I forgit it. That’s it—f-i-n o c-o-m-b—lino comb, and now I’ll put tho slip in my vest pocket and shove tho turnip down ray boot leg to make nio remember the slip!”—Detroit Free Press. A Transformation. m m ;A:.m sa& mk ii m & m m. I I* ■Jlii mmm'' A good rubbing with alcohol to freshes tho picture up before the bishop arrives. /.VX I “Your wife viewed do picture dis momIn and v.as delighted, Slie said I h*G caught your customary attitude exactly. Stop in, air." (r awiiil h m ',4 But tho alcohol had got in its work,— Life. Both Went Together. “Splfflns and Squildig are bitter enemies,” remarked Dukano. “They got into a regular fight on the street last night.” “Enemies, are they?” replied Gaswell. “When I saw tho officers helping them into tho patrol wagon, I thought they were taken with each other.” Pittsburg Chronicle-Telegraph. Parted. Briggs—l see that Shimmer and hla wife are separated, after having been married only six months. Griggs—What was tho trouble? Briggs—Ho tried to pack some of her spring gowns in a trunk.—Clothier an 4 Furnisher. Envious. “By thunder,” said the” new woman aa she lighted her cigarette and started foC tho office, “I wish I had the snap Charlie has, with nothing to do but take care oi tho children and tho housa ” —Minneapolis Journal. Why He Proposed. “You wish me to bo your wife? Why, I’ve known you only 15 minutes." “That is true, but I wished to give one lady the opportunity of saying truthfully, ‘This is so sudden.’ ” —Texas Siftings. Down South In Spring. “My dear, whore’s my overcoat?" “Your overcoat?” “Yes; I’m going to the strawberry Jta»* tival 1 ’ ’—Atlanta Constitution. Zfymhnhin’s tabhti PREVENT BELCHING.