SHE FORGOT HERSELF.

Manawatu Herald, 14 February 1905, Page 4

SHE FORGOT HERSELF.

Annt ThanliOr ' Vn.!< is Si. .idunly Surprised by :i Monke". Much has said and written in regard to (ho ludicrous acts which persons commit yrhcn suddenly overtaken by a surprising fljffl unity or by some actual danger. Even (ho coolest nerves give way at times, and Judgment is momcniarily overbalanced. Aunt Thankful Wade was no exception to {bo general rule. Under ordinary circumstances she was m U‘ possessed and unruffled, hut on e ion she found tho situation so very u i wx i u:ctcd that a slight weakening was certain'y t<> bo excused. In her youll l she had left her eastern homo and taken up a claim near her brother’s sheep ranch in Montana. Living {done, she had iaeed nnllinchingly much danger and hardship, and enjoyed the reputation of being unusually fearless. A few rods below her house was the little railway station, and one day a box containing a live monkey was deposited upon tho platform. Through the frail slats h£ soon found his way while the station master was busy, and five minutes later ho confronted Aunt Thankful as she chopped kindling wood before her door. With a shriek of dismay tho startled Woman ran into the house and shut tho floor, but tho monkey, undaunted, leaped through the 7 by 0 window into the room. To reach the door again without passing (he chattering creature was impossible, and, intending to be more discreet than valorous, Aunt Thankful ran into tho pantry, landing with both feet in a huge pan of dough upon the floor.

From this point she threw tin dishes, plates, knives, whatever she could reach, at her grinning opponent, all of which he deftly seized and returned with alacrity. At this trying moment the station master appeared, and making a lasso from the Clothesline secured his express package, Which had gone so sadly astray.

“Were you frightened, Aunt Thankful?” ho asked.

"Well,” she said, stepping forward with her wonted dignity, “I don’t keer ter her Jim fur a stlddy hoarder, nor I don’t keer tar play ball with an ape.” Then looking down at her feet covered with the soft dough, she added: “I ain’t neater than most folks, but I don’t ginerally knead my biscuits with my feet.’ v - • - It Was the Clock. The hands of the dock pointed to the hour of 11. Being night, it was therefore 11 p. m. ■ It was the hour when graveyards and other things yawn. All except the young man calling on the girl. In fact or in fiction, gay or severe, the young man never yawns. If he did, tho humorist might reverse the personnel of his stories. As before stated, the hour was 11 p. m. The young man was there, as was the girl, but the graveyard wasn’t. The yawn, however, was. Tho young man had been talking, talking, talking. All at once, by some strange power, his attention was directed to tho clock. "Bless my soul,” he exclaimed, *it is 11 o’clock.” "Yes,” the girl assented eagerly. iphen he took out his watch. "Why,” be said, “that clock is an hour fast.” She looked at him silently, persuasively appealingly, eloquently. "But you are not, aro you?” she asked tremulously, and a minute later ho was ■oftly closing the front door behind him.A Smart Parrot. Several days ago a paragraph appeared in this column relating to a parrot named Dick, owned by P. X. Ziegler of Columbus, Pa. Mr. A. M. Bam bo of this city, who Is acquainted with Mr. Zeigler, says that pick is considered one of the family and is perhaps one of the most intelligent birds of Its species in tho world. Dick always takes a hand in household matters, Mr. Rain bo says, "If Mr. Zeigler’s son does not get up In the morning at the usual hour to go to the office, the parrot will say to the girl, ‘Call Clem,’ and ho null insist on his command being obeyed. I recollect on one ocMr. Rambo further says, “when } ha family were earnestly discussing some ocai event Dick broke in as follows, ‘Papa, do you love mamma?’ ‘Yes, of course, I do,’ replied Mr. Zeigler, when the parrot oluited out, ‘Oh, you old fraudl’ "~~ Trifling With the Court. “You were arrested at midnight working qu tho safe of the bank with a sledge hamfner, and yet you protest that you are iniiiocent," said Judge Dully to a burglar. "I am an Innocent man, may it please your honor." "It would please me very much to think ifeat you were innocent. What was your object in trying to open the safe?” "I only wanted to open tho safe so as to get change for a fo bill.” ‘‘But you didn’t have any 15 bill,” “I know that, judge. I expected to find soon as I got tho safe open.’ v “ Must Be Thick. Customer —This wool is all right, but not thick enough. I want a pair of socks, sir, that will warm an icicle. Clerk—But they are the heaviest made, tWby, they ought to be thick enough any man. Customer—Those socks are not for a man, young fellow* they are for my wife to put onaujipur before she retires for tho night. *«>. ■■- - ■■■ An Easy Argument. "Mother,” said Miss Hilda, “do you think Fritz ought to lounge in that handsome chair?”

“Certainly not, Fritz,” said his mother reprovingly, “you might break it.” “If it’s strong enough to hold Hilda and s£r. Leiper,” argued Fritz as he slowly slid down, “it ought to be strong enough to hold a little boy like me!” "

It Would Bo All Bight.

He (after three hours)—l don’t think that it is exactly proper for me to wear a sack coat. She (glancing at the clock)—lt will bo in • few xflinutea.- ‘ ‘