Page 4 Advertisements Column 1

Manawatu Herald, 4 February 1905, Page 4

Chicago Street Na. s. A man from tho country was riding west on a Madison street cable cartho Other flay. Pretty soon tho conductor palled out, “May!” stopped tho car, and a lady got off. A moment, or two after ho called, "Ann!” stopped the car, and two ladies gathered their bundles and stepped off. Another block or two, and ho called, “Elizabeth!” and Iho same performance was repeated. Then came “Ada!” and a woman and child alighted. After a few more blocks ho s;m;t out, “Paulina!” and three ladies I ‘ft i.. ear. Tho stranger had looked on open mouthed, but this was too much for him. Clutching tho conductor’s coat, ho asked, “Say, mister, do you know the name of every woman in Chicago and whore she wants to get off?”—Advance. Cautions. Mr. Kidder (at tho door)—Hum, here’s a telegram from Merely! Mrs. Kidder (snatching up tho youngest)—Don’t bring it in here! Don’t bring It in hero! Tho Merely children have all got tho scarlet fever!- —-■> Tho Momentous Question. “My heart pleads for you, Horace,” she said unsteadily, “but do you realize the anguish, tho misery, tho remorse, that would follow a union hastily entered into by two persons not wholly suited to each other?” “Evadno,” impetuously cried the young jnan, “if two persons aro deeply, sincerely, devotedly attached to each other, are they not wholly suited? What more is necessary? Does the loving heart stop to reason coldly when, with every passionate throb, It”— “Is it not possible, Horace,” she gently Interposed, “to mistake a transient 1mEulso for an abiding love? Must there not oat tho basis of all true affection a mutual respect, forbearance, toleration, that will endure when” — “There Is only one question, Bvadne Do von”— “IJssju/eifuokstep, ” she exclaimed wildly, “there Is more than one question. The momentous consequences of a fatal mistake must not”— “Bvadne, hear me”— “Horace, I confess I have no other attachment, and that I cannot regard you With Indifference”— “My dear”— “Stop!” “Don’t torture me, dearest. Listen to the voice of your own heart and” — With trembling lips she interrupted him again. “Horace, you aro keeping something back from me.” “Before heaven, I am not!” “Than tell me, Horace Huokstep,” she said convulsively, “how you stand on the question of the free coinage of silver?’' >• ■ She Knew. The house had been aroused by a burglar. Mr. Jones saw a man with a mask King through the pockets of his pan tarns, and qulok as a thought ho shot at him, the intruder making good his escape. “Why,” asked Mrs. Jones, thoroughly awake, "what did you scare me for?” “I saw a man robbing my pockets and fired at him.” “Well, he didn’t got anything,” said she complacently. “How do you know?” was his gruff rejoinder. "Oh, I tried ’em myself before wo went to bed.”- " '"T Deplorable Waste. Jerry Higgins, from Boston, and Lord Duffer, from London, stood side by side at Niagara falls watching the volume of Water as it dashed on the rooks below. “What a pity It is that all this water should go to waste, ” said Jerry. “Yes,” answered his lordship, “but you know they are going to utilize it for tha elec trio transmission of power.” “I know that,” continued Jerry, “but It could have been used more advantageously.” “Aw, really. Then you are an engineer with a now idea?” Jerry looked up quizzically. “No” he ■aid,‘H’m a milkman. A Throw OK “Whoopi" Cal, tho cowboy king, sank his spurs in tho bucking broncho’s quivering sides. “Who was It bet two to ono on the throw?” A aipatt herdsman by the corral fence nodded bis head indloatlvoly. “Then”— The frenzied pony threw himself on hla gjdft and rolled over on his erstwhile rider. —“this Is a boss on me.” And they let it go at that/ World. Then Ho Started, They had been sitting in silence for two minutes, each of which seemed like an aga._ The clock chimed 11, jmdshe suppressed a yawn. “Are you interested in baseball, Mr. Stalate?” she asked wearily. " Yes. I used to play shortstop.” “Indeed? I should think thatyonr qualities would not have fitted you for anything but long stop. ” . A Newspaper Story. Mrs. Gotham—How strange! The paper says a distinguished foreigner complains that ne was greatly inconvenienced While in Chicago because he could not find any one who could speak his language. I wonder where ho came from, Mr. Sotham—Can’t imagine. Ho must have qgjnjJJrem some other planet. -' "r Toughened. mid the deputy, “I put No. 711 i the treadmill eight hours ago as a puaHhent, and I'll be dinged If he ain’t go* on list as chipper and happy as can bo. “why, of course,” said theprlson wardla tonesof disgust. "Didn’t youknoW s feller was sent here for bicycle stoat* o£ thing right in bid