Page 4 Advertisements Column 1

Manawatu Herald, 30 June 1904, Page 4

A Had Cum.

Once I was assistant to an elderly doct Ot :a Ontario, who also ran a drug store. Ho -us c. 3 peppery as a cayenne pod, and from ■ irnoto time customers and patients sprung ■okcfi o:i lam just for the fun of hearing :iin Mow orf. On one occasion a well young fallow called at the shop and ;\-cl the doctor to prescribe break- • ; r-'.i erd a on his left una. The '‘xamined the limb and pronounced ■ij to be a hod case of psoriasis and eczema. “I suppose, doctor, you can cure it?” said the patient. “Why, certainly,” replied the doctor. “How long will It take to get well?” “Ob, I guess about two months,” said the doctor. “Quito sure, (dr—is it a bad case?” “Positively the worst I’ve,seen.” “Then I will leave it with you and call for lb again when cured,” solemnly said she patient, slowly unfastening Jgj) am, which was an artificial one and painted for the occasion.—Chemist end Druggist. Fains Taking.

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BBrMfanrßeitv. Jb wastimfate of apwiptical and patriotic Scotchman of Bschapxrto oaost «£a meetho; of a oartain Improvement afi&tj, the 1 ' he «■ scholar dilated upon ■**- v Hu** of his Savor!to writer, At the tbovi. meeting the rtrmgor «*»- '^'SthSTtnel^ 0 ’ 3 peMo.doo. tJ “I do, sir,” was the “An-ye think he was mair^a«?“ Rabbi Btunaf” . “Why, there’s no comparison between them.” “Maybe no, but ye tell ua tha hleht it was Shakespeare who wrote ‘Uneasy lies the head that wears the, crown.’ Now, Rahbi would haver hae writteh sic nonsense as that”’"Nonsense, sir?” thundered the indignant doctor. “Aye, just nonsense. Rabhl would hae kent fine that a king, or a queen either, dlsna gar j, to bed wi’ the croon on their head. They hang it ower the back o’ a choirl”—Exchange. Habit. “You have paid me nothing on account of my bill lor six months,” wrote a tailor to the editor of a suburban paner recently. “My capital,” he continued, “does not admit of my giving such lopg credits. Kindly remit at once.” Inclosed In tho envelope was a duplicate copy of the bill long post due, which the editor, solely through, the force of habit as he maintained, inscribed “respectfully declined,” and then tossed it into the waste basket.—New York .Herald. Foreign Travel Improves. Successful Farmer—Son George got some sense duriu that foreign tour anyhow. Wife—l hadn’t seen It. “I have. You know he spungood while in Luunon, as he calls lb?” “Yes, an I’d like to know what good it did.” “Use y’u eyes, Miranda. He learned to ■ turn up hla pants w’en it rains.”—New York Weekly. A Considerate Debtor. Collector—When are you going to pay this bill? I can’t be coming hereeveryday In thq week. Debtor—Well, what day could you come on conveniently? "I could call on Saturday.” “All right. From how on I shall expect you every Saturday.•—Tfcxas Siftings. i An KltdMm. you bsHove Sprinkler’s asset ■■ - ??«rti|he stylish umbrella he carries • ' : . jTjr his great grandfather? ] T ,wj.. -3Sj. yej; he says his grandfather put a ]!•’■ I.*"uilck in It, his father a new frame, and Jsbrinkltsr has bad it covered.— Clothier aaft&bedwlier. First Cctad tieSw-JNe sot VttO kings. Second TTfllf grind. “Watchadjritr . ! Lwdea j Adßuperlevdtobeaee. \ n Mrs. to jjve otnw-i tint they have been Sh tho family for many Troth. j The Ugly Heiress. 1 ■ Fortune Teller—Yoor husband will be a poor man. '' I In ([Hirer—How oanyou tell that? j Fortune Teller—Well, rich men don’t many for money— Life. j Why She Objected. ' “Mrs. Sinks is very bitter In her oondomhation of poker, isn’t she?” said the caller. “Yes,” replied the hostess. “You know. Mr. Sinks plays a wretched game. ’ ’—Washington Star.. j Information Wanted. Mrs. Qfty-Mary. did I see you klwdnft my husband this morning? Mary—At what timst ; -Boiiton Budget. His Share. Ye*, this Is her picture, drawn • i resistless flash! ; I Eyes of hazel like a (awn, j Hidden by the' drooping lath. ! Such a neck and shoulders tool Ah, I thought you’d like her arms. Surely artist never drew Any goddess with such channel Flatters her? Oh. no, not much! a peachy could never reach. Lucky man? WgU, maybe, sir. But this picture and one curl | Arc all I have left of her. i For Jack Stockton got the girli ! —Harry flomaine in Vegan, J