THE CHILDREN.

Manawatu Herald, 21 June 1904, Page 4

THE CHILDREN.

Bright Sayings of Young America Gathered Erom Many Sources. Little Edith was heard coming from the next room, when suddenly there was amuse Of something let fall, probably her doll,her mother thought. Says mamma, “Did you drop something, Edith?”_ Edith Only a footstep.—Boston Transcript. Little Frank had long importuned his father to buy him a pony. At last papa said, “If I were to get you a pony, Frank, you wouldn’t know whafc to feed him, “Oh, yea, I would, papa,” replied the boy. “I’d feed him horse radish.” Pittsburg Chronicle. Many people who talk with simplicity and correctness become at once unnatural and awkward when they take up the pen. Eo it was with Johnny Bates. In the reading lesson there was a reference to some one who had “contracted d ® nd *“• teacher called attention to th&word contracted.” To “contract a he explained, “meant nothing more V-han to catch a cold. ” That afternoon J ohA’iy had to write a composition and like a sensible boy chose for his subject an account ot a fishing excursion. On the whole it was pretty creditable performance for a boy of Johnny’s age, but the teacher was obliged to laugh when he came to this sentence, “I fished half an hour and contracted five perches and onehornpout.”—Youth’s Companion. , Harry—When I get to be a man, I’m going to let my whiskers grow. MammaWhy so, my boy? Harry—Then I won’t have only a little bit of my face to wash.— Boston Courier. Little Boy—Mamma, I want a lot of soap and some warm water. Mamma—l’d rather you wouldn’t ■ blow bubbles today. “I wants to wash my hands.” “Oht Why, of ' course, my pet. You want your hands to be nice and clean, don’t you, dear?" “Yes’m. We Is goin to play theatricals, and I’m to dress up as a girl.”—Good News. Mamma (to Johnny who has fallen on the sidewalk)—There, Johnny, don’t cry; be a little man. Johuny—And say the things that pa does when^anything hurts him?— Boston Transcript. After the dinner at the cafe Bobby no- , tlccd with bulging eyes the heaping pile of change which the waiter brought back to his father. “Oh, papal” he exclaimed. "Oh, papa, I’d likeaplateofthattool”—Tit-Bits, Expedient. The sailor’s bride, with haggard, anxious face, gazed across the stormy sea. At her feet the breakers moaned upon the ipeky reef. “Bring him back, bring him back to me!" she wailed. The storm buffeted her, and the spray dashed over her. “How can I bring him back?" And the summer girl, who had chanced to wander near in her reefing jacket and high rubber boots, suggested: “Make him jealous of you.” The wind rose and shrieked.—Detroit Tribune. ;

“That's an uncommonly pretty girl over there pouring tea.” “Yes; she Is one of the reigning belles this season.” “Ah, these belles never reign but they pour,”—Life. Surprising. Yankee exaggeration is a trick that works both ways. It is most amusing perhaps when It takes the form of understatement. An old lady was alone in a very old house when the walls suddenly collapsed, and the house came tumbling down around her. Her escape was little short of a miracle, but she was taken from the ruins entirely uninjured. When asked what her sensations were when the house fell, she said: “Well, to tell the truth, I was considerably skeered —I reoly was.” —Youth’s Companion. . Her Explanation. Maggie had had the toothache for some time, and the lodine which had been prescribed proving Ineffectual her mistress procured another remedy at the drug store. Thinking to impress her with the necessity of being careful in the use of it, she said: “Now, Maggie, do you see the skull and crossbones on the label, just as they were on the bottle of iodine? Do you know what tbey'meanf” “Yes, ma'am,” replied Maggie. "They mean that it’s for the teeth. Arkansaw Traveller. An Escape. “You say, Mr. Clerkers,” said his em> ployer, “that you will be compelled to leave town for a time. Have yon any Idea how Wig you will be absent?” “Well, not exactly,” said Mr. Clerkers absently. “But I’ll be sure to be back •bout the time Marla’s got the moving all done.”—Chicago Record. Never Scold. Mother—lt is time to make some inquiries about that ,young man who now calls to sec Clara. , Fabherr-He haa not been coming more ttanaweek. 'Mother—No matter. I heard Clara scoring little Johnny for peeking through keyholes.—Good News. Sorry He Spoke. Mr, Grumpps—What idiotic things they do print on-tne women’s page 6f this newspaper! Mrs. Grumpps—Yes. I wish they would r large the fellow and put a woman In ge of it,—New York Weekly. Used to XL 1 He—lt must be very hard for these post emigrants coming as strangers to live in a iareign land. She (complacently)—But remember, dear, they have always lived in foreign lands.— —Vogue. Would Shine In Washington. “Mrs. Rexby isn’t handsome when-yoo aee her closely, but at a distance she looks magnificent.” “Yea, she's a woman of magnificent distances.’^—Chicago Tribune^