NOT DANGEROUS.

Manawatu Herald, 10 May 1904, Page 4

NOT DANGEROUS.

A Man From Bad As Who Was Basil* Quelled. When a Woodward avenue patrolman arrived at the foot of the avenue at 9 o’clock one night last week, he found in waiting a tall, cadaverous looking chap, with his hat drawn down over his eyes and a sort of tiptoe expectancy in his general demeanor. He at once stealthily approached the officer and hoarsely whispered: “Do you want to live an hour longer on the face of this earth?” "Yes, sir—two or three of them,” replied the officer as he backed away to size hia man up. ' "Then for heaven’s sake look out for Mm.” ; “Who do you mean?” “He’s here ami bin here all day. Wonder Is that he ain’t broke loose and killed two or three men before this.” “Then there’s some one around who’s going to break loose?” quietly asked the officer. “Hush! Not so loud. He may jump on you any minute.” “Who is the ‘he’ you refer to?” “Bad man—bad man from Bad Ax. Bin here all day lookin fur a row. Jest chankIn his teeth and foamln at the mouth. He won’t be able to hold himself much longer, I’m afraid.” “And if he breaks loose?” “Then look out fur gore. I’ve seen him ioose two or three times, and I know what le kin do. Ho ain’t got no more mercy in his heart than a tiger.” “Perfectly reckless as to consequences Is he?” “Perfectly. He’d tackle a man as big as a house, and the man he tackles is a goner In three minits. Jest slams and bangs and chaws, and the man is dead, I’ve bin waitin here to gin you a piuter. If you hain’t got wings, you’d better borrer a pair and fly.” “This bad man from Bad Ax—is he about your size?” asked the officer withoOt betraying any particular emotion. “Jest about my size and heft.” “And has the same dangerous appear'UCO?” P* Tf ‘st about the same, or a little more • J '- user.” ’ aic * fc he officer as he spat on hia , , ’. out foV a neck and hip S B n “So W w anting& meet that man hold, a f months, from Bad Ax lor ■ a]l nrocfiw i and now that I’ve me££im I £h all P roceed And he lifted the man on HiS-"’; “J whirled him around his head, and eft, ««« hia heels against the wharf railing, finally let him drop with a “kerchng* <x the planks and asked: \ “Well, has the bad man from Bad An got enough?” “Plenty, sir—plenty,” replied the man as begot up. . "Got all through chawm and chaakin? - “All through, sir.” , “Thcu I guess you’d better make track®. “Exactly. Here they are.” And ho flew up the avenue and whipped around into Woodbridge street with what seemed a cloud of dust whirling around his coattails and rising up to mingle with long black hair.—Detroit Free Press. Her Programme. “I have my programme pretty well arranged now,” said the earnest young woman. “Sunday I devote to religious exercises of course; Monday to Delsarte and calisthenics; Tuesday the walking club takes Its outing; Wednesday we study Moliere; Thursday we discuss the probability of woman attaining the ballot, and Friday is devoted to uplifting the poor.” “But what do you do Saturday, dear?” “Oh, that’s the day for training my husband.”—lndianapolis Journal. No May Day Terrors. Weary William (in hayloft)—Sort o’ comfortable, ain’t it? ' Pilfering J?eter— Reg Tar luxury, that’s wot it is! No doors to lock, no shutters to bolt, no windows to fasten, no kitchen fire to look after, no potted plants to move about, no light to bother with, and no nervous wife to send us a gallivantm around on th’ cold floors half a dozen times a night lookin fer burglars.—London Weekly. It Ought to Do. Pigley—Shall you send your son to college? Hogson—No. I had one set up here for him. Pigsley—What does it consist of? ! Hogson—A. gymnasium in the hennery, a Sawdust ring in the open lot, a shell in the nek pond, the smokehouse for a secret society and 400 bunches of cigarettes.—Puck. A Balt. Witherby—We’ve been without a servant for a week now, but my wife is real good. She gets up first every morning and starts the fire. Plankington—How do you contrive to get her up? Witherby—Easy enough. I leave a lot of change In my trousers pocket.—Cloak Review. _____________ She Drew the Dine. “So you have thrown your new admirer overboard?" "You bet. Just aa soon aa I learned be was a dairyman.” “What had that to do with. It?” “Considerable. None of your milk ud water chaps for me.”—Buffalo Courier. Insult to Injury. “It wasn’t her eatin the apple afore me that made me mad,” remarked Emily, the 10-year-old tenant of the Ash ally tenement, as a sob broke from her throat. * ‘lt was her offerin me the core w’en the entire avnoo Was lookin on.”—Chicago Record. | A Good One. I Susie (at her music lesson)—l’d like to catch an old air I heard in the mnaio room last night. Professor—What air was that? Susie (demurely)—Oh, it was a million-aire!—Tit-Bits. i The latest Thing.

IF THIS WHY NOT TIOB? f ~ UtSt I Too Much to A«b \ “There is one sign that should be placed over every letter box in the city,” | “What is that?” j “Post no bills.”—Yale Record. The Perversity of Girls. Jamesby—Do you think she’ll have you! ■ Nettles—Why, I’m sure of it. Her family are all bitterly opposed to me.—Chisago Record.