Page 4 Advertisements Column 1

Manawatu Herald, 9 April 1904, Page 4

Chtego Street Names. A man ftwn tho country was riding Wosii our, Madison street cable car the other day. Pretty soon the conductor called out, “May!” stopped tho car, and a lady wit oh’. A. moment. or two after he calif 1, “Ann !” stepped tho car, and two ladies ;> h. vcd their bandies and stopped. Off;- Another block or two, and he called, ‘‘Elizabeth?' end tho same performance V?a; ; i repeated. Then oamo “Ada!” and a woman and child alighted. After a few mbro blocks iso sang out, “Paulina!” and throe ladies left the car. Tho stranger had looked on open mouthed, but this was too much for him. Clutching tho conductor’s coat, lit! asked, “Ray. mister, do you know the name of (ivory wr-man in Chicago and where she wants to gpt off?.’’—Advance. Cautious. a. mA UGH !j|| ' ‘ Mr. Kidder (at the door>—Hum, here’s a telegram from Merely 1 %rs. Kidder (snatching up tho youngest)—Don’t bring it in hero! Don’t bring it in boro! Tho Merely children have all got tho scarlet fever !• " vr--Tho Momentous Questtofc “My heart pleads for you, Horace,’* sho eaid unsteadily, “but do you the anguish, the misery, the mnorsfc* that would follow a union hastily enteredf( Into by two persons not wholly suited to each other?” “Evadnc,” impetuously cried tho you.ng man, “if two persons are deeply, sincerely, devotedly attached to each other, awS> they not wholly suited? What more la necessary? Does the loving heart stop to reason coldly when, with every passionate throb, it”— “Is it not possible, Horace,” sho gently interposed, “to mistake a transient impulse for an abiding love? Must there not bo at tho basis of all true affection a mutual respect, forbearance, toleration, that will endure when”— “There is only one question, avadne Wbackstor. Do you”— “Homco Huckstep, ” sho exclaimed 1 wildly, “there is more than one question. The momentous consequences of a fatal mistake must not’’’— “Evadno, hear mo”— “Horace, I confess I have no other attachment, and that X cannot regard you with indifference” — “My dear”— “Stop!” “Don’t tor lure me, dearest. Listen to the voice of your own heart and”— With trembling lips she interrupted him again. “Horace, you are keeping something back from mo.” “Before heaven, I am not!” “Then toll mo, Horace Huckstep,” she said convulsively, “how you stand on the question of tho free coinage of silver?” She Enow. The house had been aroused by a burglar. Mr. Jones saw a man with a mask going through tho pockets of his pantaloons, and quick as a thought ho shot at him, tho intruder making good his escape. “Why,” asked Mrs. Jones, thoroughly awake,' “what did you scare mo for?” “I saw a man robbing my pockets and fired at him.” “Well, ho didn’t got anything,” saidsha complacently. “How do you know?” was Ms gruff rejoinder. “Oh, I tried ’em myself before we went to bed.”- "~r. ~ Deplorable Waste. Jerry Higgins, from Boston, and Lord Duffer, from London, stood side by side at Niagara falls watching the volume ol water as it dashed on the rooks below. “What a pity it Is that all this water • should go to waste,” said Jerry. “ Yes,” answered his lordship, “but you know they are going to utilize it for the electric transmission of power.” “I know that,” continued Jerry, “but It could have been used more advantageously.” “Aw, really. Then you are an engineer with a now idea?” Jerry looked up quizzically. “Ho/’hfl said, “I’m a milkman.”-, A Throw Oft “Whoopi” Gal, tho cowboy king, sank bis spurs is the bucking bronoho’s quivering sides. “Who was it bet two to one on tbs throw?” A smart herdsman by the corral fence nodded his head indloatlvely. “Then”— Tho frenzied pony threw himself on bis side and rolled over on his erstwhile rider. —“tins is a lioss on me.” And they lot it go at that.. World. Then He Started. They had been sitting In silence tor two minutes, each of which seemed like an ago. Tho clock chimed 11, and she suppressed a yawn. “Are you interested in baseball, Mr. Stalato?” she asked wearily. ‘ 4 Yes. I used to ploy shortstop. ’ * “Indeed? I should think thatyonr qualities would not have fitted you for any’thing but long stop.”' _ _ A Newspaper Story. Mrs. Gotham—How strange! The paper says a distinguished foreigner complains that no was greatly inconvenienced while in Chicago because ho could not find any one who could speak Ms language. I wonder whore ho came from. Mr. Gotham—Can’t imagine. He must Ijgye ogfuq from some other planet.'- ' Toughened. "Bay,” said tho deputy, “I put No. 711 on tho treadmill eight hours ago as a punishment, and I’ll bo dinged if ho ain’t goto on jlst as chipper and happy as can be.” 1 “Why, of course,” said the prison ward- . nto tones of disgust. “Didn’t you know [ ia feller was sent, hero for bicycle stealing? That sort of thing Is right to bis Vjw.”- " •‘r-ts*.