Got it Mind.

Manawatu Herald, 29 March 1904, Page 4

Got it Mind.

been riding on'the roar platform of a Grand UivcC avenue car fora mile or ‘ more and seemed to be studying the con- ,. due tor’s fan' all the time. At length he ,■ plucked Up the courage io say: “I don’t know nothin ’bout ’lectriocars, j-f- -and so am gain to ask. What does it mean when the hoys ray, ‘Shoot that hat!’ ” “I never heard of it in connection with ■ .an electric car,” replied the conductor. “Haven’t, oh? Hid you ever hear of a car talkin through the top of its.iiat?” “Never.” . , “Don’t they ever toll a ’lcctric car to jhee.se the racket?” “Good lands, no!” “Are there any flies on a ’leotrio car? persisted the questioner. ■ ’ “There may ho, but I doubt I guess you’ve got things pretty badly mixed up.’ “Yes, jiiobbo I hev, ” replied the stranger with a long drawn sigh, “and X guess the best way will ho to catch a conductor off duty and git on to his shape and give him ; a powwow. Much obliged for your kindness. I’ll cork my ear and dry up.”—Detroit Free Press,

Accommodating.

Miss Redbud—Just think! Mr. Sandstone wants to make a philopena with to be paid for with kisses. Castleton (eagerly)—Why don’t you? Miss Redbud—Would you? Castleton—-Certainly. I’ll hold the stakes.—Brooklyn Life. No Sinister Motive. “Is this Mr. Heddineera?” “Yes sir.” "My name Is Plunkett. lam acquainted with a friend of yours in Philadelphia —Jacobson, in the commission business. Ho told mo”—• “Jacobson?” “Yes; ho told me to tell you he was well. Sent his regards,” “Did you say Jacobson? What’S his first name?” “Henry W. I don’t know what the W. stands for. Perhaps you do. He said ho was an old friend of yours.” “Oh, yes; I think I remember him now! Been some years since I’ve seen him. One is apt to forget, you know. Is there anything I can do for you, Mr.—Mr.” — “Plunkett, air—Plunkett. Your name, I think, is Heddineors?” “Yes, sir. Is there”— “No, sir; there isn’t anything you cap do for mo, Mr. Heddineors. I can attend to kicking myself for calling. When I told Jacobson the other day I was coming out this way, ho made mo promise to hunt yon up and shako hands with you. Said you would be glad to soo mo. I told him It was entirely out of my lino to go around bothering folks in this way, but he would not listen to liny objection. That’s why I am hero. I didn’t come to stay. I’m not hunting for a job. I don’t want to borrow any money or sponge on you for a lunch. No, thanks, I don’t caro about sitting down. I came boro to oblige Jacobson, I’ve given you and I’ll not occupy another minute of your valuable time. Go to thunder, sir! Good afternoon!”—Chicago Tribune. An Objection. “Yea,” said Mrs. Hunnlmune, “she seemed like a very good natured and capable servant. But I couldn’t keep her.” “Was the work too hard for her?” “No; she said the place was just to her liking in most respects. There was only one objection.'** “What was that?” “My clothes wouldn’t lit her.”—Washington Star. Corrected. Mr, Emerson Hub (reading newspaper) —The cashier made no bones of taking the Whole sum. Mrs. Hub—How vulgarly put! Mr. Hub —How would you express it, nay dear? Mrs. Hub—The cashier made no study in osteology of appropriating the financial assets. —Minneapolis Journal. Too Much. Customer—These nails I bought here yesterday are In a terrible condition. Half of them are rusty. Salesman (indignantly)—Well, what if they are? You don’t suppose we can manicure every pound wo send out, do you?— BostqnPost. Taking the tewer ErU. Moberly—You look-pretty happy for a man who’s on his way to the dentist to have two teeth extracted. Hansom (with great joy)—You see, if 1 didn’t go to the dentist’s, I’d have to stay at home to my wife’s B o’clock tea.—Chicago Record. He Got It. Mrs. Magun—l camo across one of your old letters today, George, where you said that you would rather bo in endless torment with mo than bo in bliss by yourself. Mr. Magun—Well, my dear, I got my wish. —London Tit-Bits. An Inference. “Yoa '-havo saved my daughter, at the risk of your own life, from a watery grave, young man. May I infer from this that £on have the means to establish a houseold of your own?”—Fliogondo Blatter. Partial Intimacy. Caller—Are you intimate with Mrs. Ftrstfloor? Mrs. Thirdfloor —Well —er —our servant girls hang our clothes on the same roof.— New York Weekly. Ammunition. “Now, Charles, let ns make a list of your debts. ” "One moment, dear nnolo, till I have filled up your inkstand.” —FUogendo Blatter. Uncomfortable. She—Am I your owny own? Ho — TJr —tun—yes, of course. I wish you wouldn’t say owny. It sounds too much like only.—Washington Star.