THE CHILDREN.

Manawatu Herald, 22 March 1904, Page 4

THE CHILDREN.

Br3;;tit Sayings of Yon:ig .V.norlca Gathered ?iTauy Sources. ■ LitUv Edith v. - :is heard coming from the I next. roe.;:), when suddenly there was a noise Of something let U!l. probably her dol’,ber mother thought. Bays nmninm, “Did you drop somm bing, Edith?'’ Edith —Only a food'■■top.—Post 011 Transcript. Little I’nmk liad long importuned his father to buy him a pony. At last papa said, “If I were to get you u pony, Frank, you wouldn't know what to feed him.” “Oil, yes, I would, puna.” replied the boy. “I’ll iff. I him horse ra<ii>h.” — Pittsburg Chronicle. Many people who talk with simplicity RTid cori ci;‘ ;r;~s become at once unnatural and awkward when t hey lake up the pen. So it a.--, v.v h Johnny Bat":-. In the reading lesson i here was a reference to some one who had “contracted a cold,” and the teacher called attention to the word “contracted.” To “contract a cold,” he explained, “meant nothing more than to catch a cold.” .That, afternoon Johnny had to write a composition and like a sensible boy chose for Ids subject an account of a fishing excursion. On the whole it was a pretty creditable performance for a boy of Johnny’s age, but the teacher was obliged to laugh when he came to this sentence, “I fished half an hour and contracted five perches and onehofupout.”—Youth’s Companion. Harry—When I get to be a man, I’m going to let my whiskers grow. Mamma— Why so, my boy? Harry—Then I won’t have only a little bib of my face to wash.— Boston Courier. Little Boy—Mamma, I want a lot of soap and some warm water. Mamina—l’d rather yon wouldn’t blow bubbles today. “I wants to wash my hands.” “Obi Why, of course, my pet. You want your hands to be nice and clean, don’t you, dear?” “Yes’m. Wo is goin to play theatricals, and I’m to dress up as a girl.”—Good News. Mamma (to Johnny who has fallen on the Bidewalk)— There, Johnny, don’t cry; be a little man. Johnny—And say the things that pa does when anything hurts him?— Bostop Transcript. After the dinner at the cafe Hobby noticed with bulging eyes the heaping pile of change which the waiter brought back to his father. “Oh, papal” he exclaimed. “Oh, papa, I’d likeuplatcof thattool”—■ Tit-Bits.

Expedient. The sailor’s bride, with haggard, anxioul face, gazed across the stormy sea. At her feet the breakers moaned upon the rocky reef. “Bring him back, bring him bock tome!” she wailed. The storm buffeted her, and the spray dashed over her. “How can I bring him back?” And the summer girl, who had chanced to wander near in her reeling jacket and high rubber boots, suggested: “.Make him jealous of you.” The wind, rose and shrieked. —Detroit Tribune.

At Five o’Clock Tea.

“That’s an uncommonly pretty girl over there pouring tea.” “Yes; she is one of the reigning belles this season.” “Ah, these belles never, reign but they pour."—Life.

Surprising. Yankee exaggeration is a trick that work* both ways. It is most amusing perhaps when it takes the form of understatement. An old lady was alone in a very old house when the walls suddenly collapsed, and the house came tumbling down around her. Her escape was little short of a miracle, but she was taken from the ruins entirely uninjured. When asked what her sensations were when the house fell, she said: “Well, to toll the truth, I was considerably sheered—l reoly was."—Youth’s Companion. Her Explanation. Maggie had had the toothache for soma time, and the iodine which had been prescribed proving ineffectual her mistress procured another remedy at the drug store. Thinking to impress her with the necessity of being careful in the use of it, she said* “Now, Maggie, do you see the skull and crossboues on the label, just as tjey were on the bottle of iodine? Do you know what they mean?” “Yes, ma’am,” replied Maggie. “They mean that it’s for the teeth.*— Arkansaw Traveller. An Escape. “You say*, Mr. Clerkers,” said his employer, “that you will be compelled to leave town for a time. Have you any Idea hoW long you will bo absent?” “Well, not exactly,” said Mr. Clerkers absently. “But IT I bo sure to be back about the time Marla’s got the moving all done.”—Chicago Record. Never Scold. Mother—lt is time to make some inquiries about that young man who now calls to sea Clara. Father—Ho has nob been coming more than a week. Mother—No matter. I heard Clara scolding little Johnny for peeking through keyholes.—Good News. Sorry Ho Spoke. Mr. Grumpps—What idiotic things they do print on the women’s page of this newspaper! Mrs. Grumpps—Yes. I wish they would discharge the fellow and put a woman Itt charge of it.—New York Weekly. Used to It. He—lt must bo very hard for these poo» •migrants coming as strangers to live in a foreign land. She (complacently)—But remember, deaf, they have always lived in foreign lands.— —Vogue. Would Shine In Washington. “Mrs. Rexby Isn’t handsome when JOO we her closely, but at a distance she looks magnificent,” “Yes, she’s a woman of magnificent dl» tmice*."—Chicago Tribune.