Good Stories in the Magazines.

Manawatu Herald, 22 April 1899, Page 3

Good Stories in the Magazines.

(From the •• Cornhill." Here is a touch of nature which toakes the whole world kiu :•— Hicks used to tell a story of a small boy who was pufferiog badly f from a cold and enufflss, and with T whom he remonstrated for not using his handkerchief, when he got the reply — with which many of us can sympathise—" I 'aye blowed an, Ml* Hicks, but 'cc won't bide blowed." A COMICAL COMPOSITION. Another paper in " Cornhill " treats of " the humoars of School Inspection," in which the writer states that " the wildest and moat startling answers emu invariably from girls. 0 He tells of a composition exercise written by a boy of twelve years of agp, the subject, '• The history of a table," b 'ing given him by a sab-inspector, who stood over him while he wrote the essay :— I am not a time-table or a multi cation-table, I am a highly polished, refined, and aristocrats looking din- * ing- table. I have not always held the position Ido now. Once upon a time I was a rough country chap, and lived in a wood. However, I was given to understand that I must shift and do something in this world besides Btnndiog in the sunshine all day listening to birds and watching the babbling stream. It was a cruel wrench to leave my home, and I confess I was cut up very much to my very heart. I was deprived of all ray belongings, not being allowed to carry away anything fxoept my trunk which contained all I had in the world. I was not even allowed to make my bow when I took my leave, so 1 trust you twig my meaning. MORB THAN A MATCH FOR THE MANAGER. An incident is to'd^fa manager posing as an authority in geography and being hoisted with his own petard : — This gentleman -to the best of our recollection, a retired linendrapsr — went into school one day with the intention of putting the fifth standard through tbeir facings in the geograph of Europe. He began : "What is the capital of 'Olland ?" •' Capital H1 " was the crushing r joinder from the smart boy of the eiaiß. The ex li nerd rap r did not p^riae his geopraphical inquiries farther. * A CLEVER "WAY OP ESCAPE. Here is the story of the way in which a girl parried an awkward question with an answer probably truer to life than the examiner intended or desired :— IF'At a monthly pupil teacher ' examination in the old day?, a girl who had been invited in the course of a paper on geography to " give an account of a coasting voyage from the London Docks to Bristol, and to mention all points of interest en route," thus evasively replied: "I only got to the mouth of the Thams and then began to feel very sick and ill, so I went down below and saw no more."