Page 4 Advertisements Column 1

Manawatu Herald, 21 July 1898, Page 4

" ~~ "BEATEN. Teacliev Wl>.o Was an K; e Opener to the \«'iiiolo Votvii. •'You don't: v>mt to brag too heavy >oufc your muscles, my boys," said Uncle isha Todci to a t r voup v.'ho were testing leir si iv !gth in front of his store. "You in"t tcllnothin 'Ixuit what a man's made f from 1 -if! talk, no more'n yer can t-ell ■cm a rata mount's hnowl how much anin^o he'll do." Tho boys did not ainsay the truth of tliis assertion, and le old man continued: "Nov, Lcm Cole, he Avas given to iraldii uncommon high of Lem Cole's trength till he learned himself more lorotigh." Tho boys dropped down pon tho steps in happy expectancy, for ley knew a story "was coming. "There was a schoolmaster come here good spell back to teach up there to lat little red institution of learnin in the oiler. He were a mild, slim, hungry >okin chap, an when he lauded off from 10 stagecoach Lem sighted him an deided ter 'tend the fall term. He 'lowed 3r tho boys he could j>ick up the master nd snap him between his thumb an nger, same's you wonld a little green lake in the spring. "We'll, it come commencin day, an le teacher called 'em ter order an made little gentlo speech to 'em 'fore ho benn. Then he up an asked Lem, bein e was the oldest an biggest, where they »f t off in figures in the spring. "Lem, ho got up kinder slow an says, Wo were a-stnciyin subtraction of fracLons, an our teacher, bein only jest a ttle, small part of a man, weHub^racted im outen the winder. There was aught n one ter car;y, an I guess we'll go right n from thero,' an so sayin he up an icked up the schoolmaster an started ur tho winder. "Now, tho master hed college iearnin, n. he fit scientific, an 'fore Lena knowed bho was in the woodbox an the cover het down. There was cracks enough er keerj 'im from smotherin. an the eacher kep' him there threo hours. "After the scholars hed gone ho opened he lid, an says he, 'Are you sure 'twas attraction? And Lem he answered up uighty perlite an says, 'Come ter think b over, I guess 'twas partial payment, n you've begun all right.' "An after that he were the stidiest boy a the whole school. He never boasted 10 more on himself, Lem didn't, and that eacher he were jest a eyeopener ter the rhole town." — Youth's Companion. A Mistake. ; Reynard — That is a strange looking >ird, but 1 must fascinate it and get it or my lunch. Escaped Parrot — What are yon staring it me for? ! ! ! ! !— * Sic im, Watch! Sic 'im! Sic 'im!— Life. He Made Allowance. A French journal reports the case of a nan who entered a coffee house and 6at lown near a customer who was reading he morning newspaper which belonged iO the establishment. "After you with the paper, if you •lease," said the newcomer. The other man nodded assent and vent on reading, bnt at the end of half m hour had hardly finished the first colimn. Just as the waiting customer was ibont making a second and perhaps imlatient application he noticed that the eader had lost one of his organs of right. His resentment vanished. "Ah," said he in a low voice, "I am lot surprised. The poor man has only me eye and has to read everything fwice over."— Exchange. Willing to Follow Advice. Uncle — When you find that you've made a mistake, start again right where pou were before and try to do better. Nephew— Thank you, sir. I've made fee mistake of spending that $400 you ave me two weeks ago. Please give me 400 more, so I can start where I was beore. — Chicago News-Record, Laid Up. A.— Do you know why Softleigh did lot attend the lectures today? ' B. — Yes; he told me he had canght old yesterday looking at the Parthenon rieze. — Harvard Lampoon. Truly a Modest Maid. I want no duke nor honored ear), No brave and comely knight; J want a man who'll tend the stove, And the kitchen fires light. I want no daring warrior Before whose sword men fall; ■ I want a timid little man Who'll answer to my call. I want no lordly banker With wealth on land and sea; 1 want a iunn wlmso hoardings Shall in my keeping be. I want no handsome, brilliant man Whose glance the heart can hart; I want a man so ugly That none will with him flirt. I want a man of learning, Of the mental, vast uiul high; I tv«nt a man who knows and feels He knows much less thun 1. — Omaha B©fc