Page 4 Advertisements Column 1

Manawatu Herald, 19 July 1898, Page 4

H Wanted to Join. I A littlo dried up man whose nationality Hvas imprinted plainly on his face walked ■nto the /irst National bank the other day, HjaziKl furtively about, hesitation in his ov« movement. Thou ho as quickly and unHstculatiously left tho great room, hia hand Hhovod deep into his trousers pocket. H In a few minutes ho reappeared, detormlHiation written in overy deep lino of hia Hruggcd face, though his manner did not Hack hesitation. Ho stared about him unHil he espied n lino of patrons making deHTosits at the receiving tellor's window, Hind at the foot of the line ho took his place. H9ls one after another of the oustomers liis deposit and departed the little old BFellovr drew nearer and nearer to the winKlow, and at each advance his uneasiness Hccreased and his courage departed. H When almost to tho goal, he turned abwagged his head in a deprecatory jHort of way, and again took a place at the Hail end of the line he had climbed so paA second time ho approached the by slow degrees and a second time Bo turned away when his hopes were about Ho bo realized. The third time he toiled np IHhat ever varying lino and it was apparent Hhat this time ho would do or die. H Only two men stood between him and H)he teller, and he shifted restlessly from foot to another. Only one man now BBtept him from tho counter and his aglta|Hl ou i norca - sc <^ That one man turned away, H The little old man's time hod come at Hast I He jerked his hand from his pocket Kod with it a huge roll of greasy and oft Hlngered bills. He dashed the money down front of tho puzzled teller and in a voice with emotion, excitement and supBEressed nervousness exclaimed loud enough be hoard 100 feet away: H "Oi want t' jino the bank!" He wanted to open an account and no Hme interposed an objection. — Chicago Her Mania For Funerals. |B As women advance in years, it has been a fondness for attending funerals manifest in their characteristics, jHmt .1 young woman who has this tendency extremely rare. Such a one, however, this story on herself in a little social the other day: MM "I don't know why it is," she stated, Hj'but I havo always had a mania forfunerHbls. Whon I was a child, I nover could get |H>ast a door that had crape on it. I would mingle with the visitors and go in sco the dead person, whether I knew jHhe family or not. The melancholy which JHjervades such scones has always had a relfor me, I can't tell why. Not long Hkgo, however, I had such a peculiar erperithat my fondness for burials has ternd — perhaps I'm cured. |H " Au acquaintance died, and I, of course, my plans to attend the funeral. the time I dressed and repaired to her As I was delayed a little, I sat in a rear seat. There I heard the Hfcymns and tho discourse, and Joined copiin the mourning. I remember now I wept and wept until people near me |Hegarded me curiously. I was too used up |Ho go to the grave and went home. At dinHfcer my husband said: " 'What makes your eyes bo red?' |H " 'I have been to Mrs. Wilbur's funeral,' "He looked a trifle queer, and then said: " 'No, you haven't; she isn't to be buried tomorrow.' " — Louisville Courier* An Indication. Mr - Northside walked into his parlor the BBther night and was rather surprisod to see jHiis daughter sitting on young Mr. HillThe young people were surprised too. The older man was tho first to recover equanimity, and as Miss Northside her feet he remarked: "Ah, Lucy ! I sco your raco for a husis nearly over." "What makes you say that, papa?" asked |Hbe girl, blushing painfully. You seemed to be on the last lap."-— Chronicle-Telegraph. Parental Reproof. "It seems to mo, Laura," called out Mr. who was trying to read his news"you are doing a good dool of untalking and cackling in there. nro you about?" "I'm merely sitting byGeorge," demureanswered Miss Laura from tho parlor. "Well, I wish you would make loss noise, George I" rejoined Mr. Kajones. — ChlHia Presence of Mind Saved Hlmu Kot Mnob Bl«k. BB TfrrnTniTiing Physioian (for lniiuraoo* — f'm afraid we oan't take you, You are too great a risk. Applicant (resignedly) — Well, perhapp I The fact Is that when Igtt elokl send for a doctor. I Jurt lie around I get welL Examining Physician— Eh? Um— wVU you I— New York Weekly. H| More lafbrmatlon. Tommy— Paw, what is an egottetf Mr. Bigg — He is a man who thinks he smarter than any one else. Mrs. Figg — My dear, you have that I^KTong. The egotist is the man who o*7l la smarter than any one else. All m*n that way. — Indianapolis Journal. j^H It Wm EflectlTe, Though. j^BMrs. Wiggles— What did Mr. WagglM when he proposed to you? Mrs. Waggles— Do you know, we both us tried to remember that the very next |^Hay, and neither of us oould. — Somerville Journal. Absorbing. "I don't believe that Timmins ever had original idea in bis life." I know of one. He has an idea he is a great poet." — Indianapolis W^M The Important Fart. "^ would die for you." passionately exthe rich old suitor, and the pMto» girl calmly asked him: "How coon?" — Somerville Journal. |H Whatfa In a Name? "Why did you name your baby Nla«»»f" she roan aOr'*— DetroiT An