Page 4 Advertisements Column 1

Manawatu Herald, 12 July 1898, Page 4

Chicago Street Kames. A man from tho country was riding west on a Madison street cable car tho other day. Pretty soon tbo conductor called out, "May I" stopped the car, and a • lady got off. A moment or two after ho called, "Ann! :I sioi^uJ ' !.o ;-.u, t'.'.u ladies gathered thoir bundles and stepped off. Another block or two, and ho called, "Elizabeth! I ' and tho same perforcQan 00 was repeated. Thon camo "Ada!" and a woman and child alighted. After a few more blooks ho sang oiife, "Pavlina!" anil three lad*cs left tho car. Tho strangor had looked on open mouthed, but this was too much for him. Clutching theconductor's cont, .ho a^ic^, "?;vy, mister, do you know the name of every woman in Chicago and where she wants to get off?" — Ad?anco. •••_•• ■* Cautions. ' ' Mr. Kiddcr (at tbo door) — Hum, hero's a telegram from 7\'nroly ! Mrs. Kidilor (snaxhing tip the youngest) — Don't bring it in here! Don't bring lb in here I Tho Moircly diildicn. have »U got the Bcarlet fever!- ""- i « ■ ... .— „ The Momentous Qnestion. "My heart pleads for you, Horace," sho eaid unsteadily, "but do you realize the anguish, the misery, tho remorse, that would follow a union hastily entered into by two persons not wholly suited to each other?" "Evadno," impetuously cried tho young man, "if two persons aro deeply, sincerely, devotedly attached to each other, aro they not wholly suited? What more is necessary? Does the loving heart stop to reason coldly when, with every passionate throb, it" — "Is it not possible, Horace," she gently interposed, "to mistake a transient impulse for an abiding love? Must there not be at the basis of all true affection a mutual respect, forbearance, toleration, that will endure when" — "There is only one question, "Jvadne Whackster. Do you" — "Horaco Huckstep, ' ' sho exclaimed wildly, "there is more tlian one question. The momentous consequences of a fatal mistake must not" — "Evadne, hear me" — "Horace, I confess I have no other attachment, and that I cannot regard you with indifference' ' — "My dear"— "Stop!" "Don't torture mo, dearest. Listen to the voice of your own heart and" — With trembling lips she interrupted him* again. "Horace, you are keeping something back from me. " j "Before heaven, I am not!" j "Then tell me, Horaco Huckstep," she said convulsively, "how you stand on tho question of tho free coinage of silver?" • Sho Knew. The house hiv\ Loon aroused by a bin?- \ glar. Mr. Jones raw a man wifh a mask '. going thron/v' 1 the pockets of his panta- '< loons, and quick as a thought ho shot at him, tho int. nidi 1 1' making good his escape. I "Why," risked Mrs. Jones, thoroughly | awake, "what did yon scare mo for? l ' ! "I saw a man robbing my pockets and | fired at him." -S& "Well, ho didn't get anything," said she complacently. "How do you know?" was his gruff rejoindor. "Oh, I tried 'em myself before we went to bed."- " —■-■•-- . Deplorable Waste. ) Jerry Higgins, from Boston, and Lord ; Duffer, from London, stood side by side ] at Niagara falls watching tho volume of ! water as it dashed on the rocks bolow. "What a=-pity it is that all this water should go to waste," said Jerry. "-Yes," answered his lordship, "but you know they aro going to utilize it "for tho electric transmission of power." "I know that, " continued Jerry, "but it could have been used more advantageously." "Aw, really. Then you are an engineer with a new idea?" Jerry looked up quizzically. "No," he eaid, "I'm a milkman. "-..~ _~~ ; A Throw Off. "Whoop!" Cal, the cowboy king, sank his spurs in the bucking broncho's quivering sides. "Who was it bet two to one on the throw?" A smart herdsman by the corral fenco j nodded his head indicatively. "Then"—' | The frenzied pony threw himself on his j side and rolled over on his erstwhile rider. | — "this is a boss on me." And they let it go at that. World. Then He Started. They had been sitting in silence for two minutes, each of which seemed like an >age. The clock chimed 11, .And she sup- . pressed a yawn. "Are you interested in baseball, Mr. Stalate?" she asked wearily. " Yes. I used to play shortstop." "Indeed? I should think that your qualities would not havo fitted you for anything but long stop." " A Newspaper Story. Mrs. Gotham — How strange ! The paper says a distinguished foreigner complains that ne was greatly inconvenienced while in Chicago because he could not find any one who could speak his language. I wonder where he camo from. Mr, Gotham — Can't imagine. He must 1 have «Jowe from some other planet. •■*'-» Toughened. : ' -Say," said tho d-puty, "I put No. 711 on tho treadmill eight hours ago as a punishment, am' I'll !>.; dinged if he ain't goin on jist as chipj •<.•!■ and happy as can be." 1 ' Why, of course, ' ' said the prison ward- < qln tones of disgust. "Didn't you kno\y I feller wan scut hero for bicycle stealing? That port of thing is right in htf Tae."- - '" -"\