Page 4 Advertisements Column 1

Manawatu Herald, 5 July 1898, Page 4

'" HE PAID UP. A Wedding Tnat Co3t Stuart Rofcgon 8.".,000. "I read In tho newspapers ono morning," pays*Nnt C. Goodwin, "thn.fc Lnwvenco Barrett's daughter lmcl been warpled, and that among tho bridal gifts wji9 a clicck for $5,000 from Stiinrfc Kobson. " 'That can hardly bo true,' thought I. •Bubson and aro great frionds, Imfc Jlobson would nob bo likoly to give bo nnnh money as a wedding present. The iKmspanors must bo wrong.' "A ilr.y or two later I met Robsoa in Broadway "'Look here, oid m:m, ' said I. '.Mow about that gift of $5,000 you nro said to havo inado to LaiTy Barrett's daughter? Havo the newspapers been lying about you again >' " 'XaV said he solemnly, 'it's true — true as pospcl! Step out hero oue side, and I'll toll you how it happened,' "Wo retired to a convenient corner, and Kobson told mo the whole story, and it amused mo immensely. " 'About two yoars ago last summer, ' said he, 'a young man called at my cottage in Cohassefc, bringing a letter of introduction from a friend in New York. I was as cordial n3 I could be, and tho fellow kept calling off and on all summer. Ho did not interest mo particularly, but ho was harmloss. One day he said to mo, "Mr. Robfion, that Miss Barrett is a charming girl." " ' "Ah, and so'youJiavo mot the Barrot fes, havo you?" pays I." " ' "I h:ivc!,"'saysh(>;"andlrogard Miss TkiiTntt n.'ioue of tho most charming young Indies I ffver iwiw." ' . " ' "She in, my boy, sho isl" says I. "Pitch in and win her, and tho day you wed hor I'll givo you $5,000. And hero's $1 to bind tho bargain." ' : 'Xat, I pledgo you my "rcord I had no idea that anything 'further would ever como of the matter. My idea was to encourage tho fellow to spend his timo at BniTett's cottago instead of mine. But ho was in earnest, it seems. I used to hear of his being with Miss Barrett a good deal, and occasionally I would sec them sauntering along tho beach listening to tho inusio of tho sad sea waves. But, as I suid, I thought nothing serious of it all, and I forgot all about my stipulation involving tho |5,000. So you can imagino my astonishment, my horror, when, about two months ago, that young man turned up at my cottago again, wearing a particularly triumphant smile. " ' "Mr. Robson," said ho, "I've dono it." 11 ' "Dono what?" says I. " ' "Proposed to her," says ho. " • "Proposed to whom?" says I. " ' "Why, to Miss Barrett,," Pays hfl, "and I'm going to marry her!" y ' "Tho you aro!" says I, for tho fairly knocked tho wind out of me. " ' "I am, indeed," says he, and then he reminded mo of the proniisol had given him about tho check. Yes, you may not believo it; but, Nat, tho fellow had tho bad taslo to recall that I had promised to give him a bridal present in case ho won Jjarry Barrett's daughter. " ' "My boy," says I as amiably as I could, "Stuart Robson never forget* and ho novor violates a pledge or a promise!" " 'The morning of tho wedding I was feeling too indisposed to leavo my bod. 1 had been sitting up too lato tho night before with a sick friend. So I called my daughter to mo. '■' ' "Alicia," said I, "are you going to the wedding?" " ' "Yes, father." " ' "Then tako this check with you," said I. "Bo careful not to lose it, and aftev the wedding hand it, to the groom. But, mind "you, Alicia, do not givo it to him until after the minister pronounces them man and wife, for ho might drop dead in t he :!H:'.i;timo." " 'When my daughter returned tlmt afttirnnon, I said, "Alicia, is it all over?" " ' "Yes, father." '• ' "And did you give him the check for $5,000;"' " 4 "Yes, father." " ' "What did ho do when you gavo it to him?" " ' "Father, ho cried.", " 'I was gratified, I will admit, tlmt my trifling benefaction had touched his heart, yet I was anxious to know the full extent of his appreciation. i " ' "Ho cried, did he?" said I. "How long did he cry?" " ' "Father, I am not sure, but I should cay about a minute." "'"A minute! A minute!" said I. " ," I cried an hour' before I signod that check!" ' " — Eugene Field in Chi« cago Re'covd. Army Intelligence. An army officer, Captain Poker Chip, who has beon dismissed from the army for duplicating his cash account, was seen walking on the street with a lady. Several United States officers of the club saw the couple, and Colonel Mountain Howitzer remarked to Major Blow: "I can't comprehend how Poker Chip has tho cheek to be seen on-the streets with a woman who would so far forget herself as ttf walk out with a man of his reputation."— Texas Sittings. Warned In Time. Mr. Hardnutt — I admit, sir, that my life has not been what it should be, but I truly and unselfishly love y_our daughter, and if ever I givo her a moment's pain I hopa I'll be mode to suffer torture for it. Old Gentleman (warningly)— Oh, you willl You don't know her. — New York Weekly. Impossible. Mrs. Bellefleld— Mrs. Oakland has a great secret. Mrs. Bloomfleld — Oh, nol She can't have. "Why not?" "If she had, she would ' have told it to me."— Pittsburg Chronicle-Telegraph. Hint to Benedicts. "I don't like to interfere in domestic affairs," says the Manayunk philosopher, "but I would suggest to the married man that it would be well for him to let his Wlfo bring up the family while he brings op the coal." — Philadelphia Record. A Peculiarity. "Money talks," said the confident man. "Yes," replied the melancholy citizen, "but when it's conversing with a poor relation it usually talks in a whisper." — Washington Star. Defined. "What do we meau by health?" asked tho teacher. "Health, " said a timid little voice, "is when, you're real fat and have lots of skin!" — Youth's Companion. Answered. "How many bells aro in this chime?" asked tho curious traveler. "Eight, all tolled," said the seaton.— Indianapolis Journal.