Page 4 Advertisements Column 1

Manawatu Herald, 2 July 1898, Page 4

THE CHILDREN. ' Br iglit Sayings of Young America Gathered From Many Sources. Little Edith was heard coming from th« Tio::t room, when suddenly there wasanoiso cf something let full, probably her doll, her nioilur thought. Says mamma, "Did you rin.p something, Edith?" Edith— Only a footstep. — Boston Transcript. Little Frank had long importuned hig fntlicr to buy him a pony. At last papa p.-i id, ''If I were to gefc you a pony, Frank, yt-'t .rottldn'fc know wbnfc to feed him." *'G ; i, yes, I would, papa," replied the boy. •Mil iced him liorac radish." — Pittsbm-g Chr;»::ick'. ; ?.!•■• ny people who talk with simplicity ma c.rrecines3 become at once unnatural and awkward when they take up the pen. £v it was with Johnny Bates. In the read* iv.% lesson there was a reference to some one who had "contracted a cold," and the teaciier called attention to the word "contracted." To "contract a cold," he explained, "meant nothing more than to catch a cold." That afternoon Johnny had to write a composition and like a sensible boy chose for his subject an account of a fishing excursion. On the whole it was a pretty creditable performance for a boy of Johnny's age, but the teacher was obliged to laugh when he came to this sentence, "I fished half an hour and contracted five perches and onehornpout." — Youth's Companion. Harry— When I get to be a man, I'm going to let my whiskers grow. MammaWhy so, my boy? Harry— Then I won't have only a little bit of my face to wash.— Boston Courier. Lirtle Boy— Mamma, I want a lot of soap and some warm water. Mamma— l'd rather you wouldn't blow bubbles today. "I wants to wash my hands." "Oh! Why, of course, my pet. You want your hands to be i) ice and clean, don't you, dear?" "Yes'm. We is goin to play theatricals, and I'm to die^s up as a girl." — Good News. Mamma (to Johnny who has fallen on the Bidowalk)— There, Johnny, don't cry; be a liiiln man. Johnny — And say the things tb.'ti, pa does wheu anything hurts him? — Boston Transcript. After tbe dinner at the cafe Robby noticed with bulging eyes the heaping pile of change which the waiter brought back to bis father. "Oh, papal" he exclaimed. "Oh, papa, I'd like a plate of that too!"— Tit-Bits, Expedient. The sailor's bride, with haggard, anxious fan*-, gazed across the stormy sea. A I her feet the breakers moaned upon the r»cky reef. 'J Jring him back, bringhimback tome!" Hhfi wailed. The storm buffeted her, and the spray dashed over her. '•How can I bring him back?" And the summer girl, who had chanced to wander near in her reefing jacket and high rubber boots, suggested: 'Make him jealous of you." The wind rose and shrieked. — Detroit Trihune. At Five o'Clock Tea. :■ ■ i t "That's an uncommonly pretty girl over there pouring tea." iv Yes; i-ha is one of the reigning. bollea this season." "Ah, these belles never reign but they pour." — Life. Surprising:. Yankeo exaggeration is a trick that works both ways. It is most amusing perhaps wben it takes the form of understatement. An old lady was alone in a very old house I vdir-u thf> walls suddenly collapsed, and the ' house came tumbling down around her. lit r escape was little short of a miracle, but she was taken from the ruins entirely uninjured. When asked what her sensations were when the house fell, she said: "Well, to tell the truth, I was considerably skeered— l reely was."— Youth's Companion. Her Explanation. Maggie had had the toothache for some time, and the iodine which had been prescribed proving ineffectual her mistresa procured auother remedy at the drug store. Thinking to impress her with the necessity of being careful in the use of it, she said: "Now, Maggie, do you see the skull and ci'ossbones on the label, just as they were on i lie bottle of iodine? Do you know what tlu-y mean?" "Yes, ma'am," replied Maggie. "They mean that it's for the teeth. w ~ Aikansaw Traveller. An Escape. "You say, Mr. Clerkers," said his en> ploycr, "that yon will be compelled to leave town for a time. Have you any idea how long you will be absent?" "Well, not exactly," said Mr. Clerkers absently. "But I'll be sure to be back About the time Maria's got the moving all done."— Chicago Record. Never Scold. Mother— lt is time to make some inquiries •bun i. that young man who now calls to see Clara. Father— He has not been coming more than a week. M other — No matter. I heard Clara scolding little Johnny for peeking through keyholes.— Good News. Sorry He Spoke. Mr. Grumpps— What idiotic things they do print oii the women's page of this newspaper! Mrs. Grumpps — Yes. I wish they would discharge the fellow and put a woman in charge of it.— New York Weekly. Used to It. I f o— lt must be very hard for these poo? «n;i /rants corning as stx-augers to live in a ibiviyn land. She (complacently) — But remember, dear, tbvy i'.ave always lived in foreign lands.— —'V n '4 l1 I.'. AVould Shiuo In Washington. ".. v lr.<. Kexby isn't handsome when you sea her clor>tly, but at a distance she looks magnificent," "Yes, site's a woman of magnificent dla> tflnces."-- -Chicago Tribune.