KNEW IT ALL.

Manawatu Herald, 22 March 1898, Page 4

KNEW IT ALL.

She Dfan "Who Gesticulated Had B**a Tlicre, and He "Was Vp. What's the matter with the man anyway? i-fothinpc much. He has been to seethe World's fail* buildings. How ho gesticulates! Ho seems to be giving it to those chaps pretty straight. So he 13. You see, he went out to the opening, end he is telling them about it. But that was months ago. Yes, but the buildings are still there. Look I What do the sweeping gestures o£ his arms mean? He must be describing the roof of the "biggest room in the world." And when be shades his eyes and looks fia if he were viewing a distant landscape? That's the man in the back of the hall trying to make out whether it is really Depew who is speaking. And when he looks down over the side like that? He's telling how he looked down from the back of the gallery and saw two regiments marching, company front, past one another in the lobby. And now what is he pulling and hauling Rt? He must be explaining how you could pull the auditorium out from under the Auditorium ootd and leave the hotel standing ou its independent supports. And when his hands go up with all the fingers spread? It must mean the great fountain with effects of the colored lights. And what's that potato race that his hands seem to be running with one another? He's explaining about the construction of that building where they started the tower after the rest of the building was up and had to put nbout 1,000 tons m" «.!•♦ Iron into tho foundation to settle the t^joand down even. You should ask him ftliuut that. You seem to have heard his whole story. Not his particular story, but the same narrative as given by other narrators. Ib seems to bo quite a story. Yes; it makes you feel as though the Chicago man must be 17 feet high and full of wheels. Well, is be? I do not know, but next summer I «h*tt j{o out there and try to ascertain.-^ f * r V, . ' I

B The Up a and Down* of Fashion.

Ho walked into the restaurant with * half famished look in his eyes. was not the finest restaurant in the but he seemed oblivious of the fact at eagerly scanned the bill of faro. "Bring mo some mutton chops," he said the obsequious waiter. "I can't jes' recommend de chops, 3&b, M the waiter. ■ "Why not?" H| " 'Cause (ley's all gone any more." get me a beefsteak and be quick ; beefsteak was a demoralized looking and of adamantine consistency. waiter watched him gleefully as h« off a corner and conveyed it to his I^BTfaerc was a suppressed groan. Our hero broken a tooth in an ill advised at* at masLicatiou. M ls you superstitious, sab?" inquired the HButer. 'No. Why do you ask?" ' 'Cause you is de thirteenth pusson wot to eat dat erdentical piece of beefand none of 'em couldn't do nuthin it. I knowed sumfln were_ agwin© to shuahl"- v '"" _

. One Satisfaction.

I he— lt's no use, Mr. de Tone. In my sent state of mind I would not a xept the t man living. ' j Ie (very coolly)— No, I see you won't t at any rate you will have the sattefao* a of Jniowing that he has offered him*

Siena of Coming Trouble.

lohnny— I tell you papa's going to catch fter the company's gone, ommy— How do you know? plumy— He's told her once or twice nho kmistakan about something, end she'i h "Why, darlingl'»»- «. " .' '*"*".?■

Interotiiur. !

Itorgie— I never knew any one to havt ' t atrocious taste as Ethel Pierce. She me that hideous vase for a birthday ent. Look at Itt : jllie — Good I sent i to her yean*

H^l Similar TralU.

■skson— I met a man on the street ye* ty who reminded me of you. ikins— ls that bo? Howf skson— He, too, has owed me $10 foi a month.— B., K. & Co. 'a Itlonthly.

I^HH Tttit Nn Music.

B— Now, you've looked over my rntMM^ would you like to have me p'&jt -Either euchre or cribbaga-

What She Wanted.

a sweetly pretty, smiling faos, in rippling, shining bronze browa soft heart beat wildly as I ga ed, &be wan yuung and very, very fi ir. a Paderewski matinee vibioL. dawned upon my ravisb ed eight, the master of the keyboard pL )ed seemed tilled wiih exqoislti delight. to her companion, and I yearned what those sweet lips would aottif B^^B 8 1 listened, low tb« maiden llay id, ■■Kah hod pUy '^r*>/'i jJofcij^dj lyj'"