NOT AT HOME.

Manawatu Herald, 8 October 1896, Page 4

NOT AT HOME.

¥h» OwvtaUonal Uttle Phrmta Wbleb Emm tit* Wbecli df Society. The little phrase "not at homo," used in the conventional sense, simply means that one is not at liberty to receive her friends or acquaintances. It does not mean that she Is out of the house, and it is not so understood by people accustomed to society. When the maid bars the door to a caller with the Information that the lady Is "engaged" and cannot come down, the caller, ttnless she is a very sensible woman indeed. Is apt to feel that she has had a rebuff. "I'll not take the trouble to go to her boos* again very soon," she thinks, and probably says, as she walks disappointedly away. On* nss of politeness is to case the wheels of society and do away with needless friction. When everybody in a community adopts a certain formula, and its meaning Is generally understood and accepted, there la no violation of truth in availing one's ■elf of It, simply as a convenience. When we send out cards saying that on a certain day we will be "at home," we signify to our friends that then we will be free to enjoy their society. This may seem too formal to be done in a little village where old acquaintances run in upon one another oh tliair way to or from the market or the pestoffice, and where the demands of life ace not very insistent. But in town, with Ita multiform and pressing engagements, a day at home is almost a necessity to those Who would see their friends and still have time left for anything, else. Of course if the phrase "not at home" is •rudely taken and regarded as a falsehood by the ntterer and by the person who hears it, it lowers the moral tone of both. But tola Is not what is intended when it is used. Dm gentlewoman who is "not at home" is toderstood simply to be "not at home to visitors," and thus she has thrown up a fortification for the day around the poem she la writing or the picture she is painting, the child she is nursing, the gown she is staking or the dessert she is concocting. "Mrs. will not be at home until after 8 or 4 or 7 p. m." is merely a variation of the form, signifying at what hour Mrs. will be disengaged. la conclusion. Harper's Bazar expresses the opinion that the only really needful iking in the matter is to have everybody •nderstand and adopt what a few have adopted and found convenient and courteous, a conventional phrase to indicate that the occupations of the house cannot be thrown over for the pleasure of a conversation with friends who may find another occasion for calling. To a multitude of overwearied women, interrupted until serious pursuits become impossible, and nerves and health break down, this little phrase would prove a boon.