Page 4 Advertisements Column 1

Manawatu Herald, 16 May 1896, Page 4

Getting Around It* It UEed to be tho law in Calirorola that Justices of tin pecice hrul no jurisdiction in ■' ' cases involving nvjro thfiivSSCO. Once, says an old Caiifomiiin. A sued B before a squire in tbo Coasi IJanaa for $iOO. B posted up to tbo next to*.vn and consulted a "limb of tho law," & "We'll go ■ down ■ and throw liim out of court on 'no jurisdiction,'" said S. The day for trial came, and „ Band hia r.cforr.'jywero on band. Just to see how fiiv he would go, S let him enter judgment njr.ainst him and then called his attention to tha fact of "no jurisdiction." "Ab, yes,'' pnid his honor, "Mr. S., the court has tliouisht of that and discovered a TCT > i''^V. i ~ '' (-•■'-.'• ''TflsfTTlPT't appunsi your cii.vnt lor fKK) and issues two JU^iLi.l.iS ly. ■ v ,:tv> t.i^il. ' Aiid 110 Ond it. An Invitation. •'Come herpj paid; I've got a bone to pick with you. 1 '- _ Too Much. % 4 *"Willic," said Bob one evening as we were unosteutatiously seated upon a friendly lamppost (I think that's how we were seated; anyhow Ave were seated without any ostcntatiouslyncss). "Willie," ho repeated meditatively, "we have missed our vocation and ought to take another shot at it." "How's that, Boh?" said I intcrrojjative/ly. "As long as v:e arc able to run into debt we shonld he satisfied." "Willie," said li:;b very severely, "do not speak in such trifling terms of the greatest ' American institution in America." Then he added philosophically: "Debt is like a •hort, interminable hill. It's easy to run down, but you have to walk back." I made a few incandescent remarks to the ~->ct that I'd rather stay at the bottom or j ItoK t "o car back. But Bob interrupted me take W - 1 me with one of his superior andfavortn. '.-• said he theatrically," "I i looka "Wilhv, » Then in a burst of care not for riches. them as long generosity: "You may w iy. But what iwyoulendmeanoccasiona. Mywavfor Ido want is fame. Now the <w ? T a^ jnetoacqnirQ fame is to train m> vwco , and become a singer." \ "But, Bob," said I. C "No. Every singeris famous." jii-^^oh." . ' "Yes. Is not every singer a person of note?" "Yes, Bob," and I fell lifeless on tbe>cold» i fcard curbstone.— r. Charles Hoy. ■^i A Sign. "That was "M* Skidds who called on ydu r last night, wasn't^., Amy?" [."■■ Amy nodded, and Amabel went on. K "I was sure of it." "What mado you sure?" • "Because when I went into the parlor this morning the tw6\armchairs were in front of the fireplaco .ana as close to u getber as they could be." "Well, I think you are real nitfan*" Amy declared, "but f just know that Hi was M*\ Spatts who spent ftfonday evening in youi company." ' ; "How do you know?" "OX I can tell," "I'm sura you didn' b find the chairs close . . ■ "^.'o, out I found just one armebair in _-.jron.t- of the fireplace."— William Henry :" giviter. ; What It Was. Detroit has a minister, as havo other towns for that matter, who doesn't always preach as short sermons aa he might, yet ■'•■■ who has many admirers. Tho other Sunl day one of these took a visitor to. chorpli .jKith him. After service he wanted to know i the visitor's opinion. h ■ w What do you think of that sermon.?." he | inquired with considerable pride. "Very good sermon," responded tbe* viafiV «p calmly. x "You're right; it was all wool and a yaro. wide." The visitor sighed just a little. " "It wasn't the width I noticed so ££&£ fee gajd jlowly, "as the length."- -*^~r~~ What It Wa«. A London newspaper relates that a few Ldays ago Queen Victoria was greatly with a piece of music performed the band playing in publio at Osborne K and sent one of her attendants to learn the Bfname of the piece. The* attendant came ■Lback-and reported with some embarrass- ■ ment that it was entitled "Copae Where the I Boose is Cheaper." _. I _ A Surprise. I Jirat Mature Maiden— Mr. Smith looks I ouite young and jaunty since his marriage, Br Joesn'the? Mr- Second Mature Maiden— Yes, so he does. I He looks almost as young as he did when I I refused him. He was 23 then. ■" First Mature Maidgn— lndeedl I had no B Idea he was 6a- ' Wfc Skeptical. Wb "They are going to try the minister for K keresy," said Deacon Potterby: K~ _ "How so?" asked tha sinner. II we had a pound party for his bene* ■r nt a couple of weeks ago, and what did he H do but have a pair of scales andjreighevMt- gything that was brought in."- "*-**—" Ml I ■ " ■ ■ ■» - K. Hla Opinion. B Young Man— l wish your opinion, sir, M K to whether your daughter would make me Wk ft good wife? K Lawyer— No, si|i_*he Vjrf. KJtoJdaiSjjOease.' -"T" 7 ' /^ pr ~^T^ fe—' — " — H . The New Neighbors. ■-'" It was a cause of toaoh concern H-i To Mrs. Eustace Gray HiU To find out who had hired the house ■ That stood across the way. H Bhe watched the furniture that came, H And scrutinind it all, ■ To seo if it waß requisite ■, Tbut she Bhould make a oall. H But all her doubts were wt at rest H" Af t ar the people came, Ar.ft ?Irs. Gray will never oaU. Or know her neighbor's names H& I'o.- CLii fine day, alasl she saw— HS r j':ic : xii.ory thrills her yet— H^> A neuUy piunted sign hung out, H^ ' "iske Furnished Rooms to I*Ml