Page 4 Advertisements Column 1

Manawatu Herald, 2 May 1896, Page 4

f— ft hit ■ ii i in iitiw MUMrwrnT i<— a'VictTm op fate. Ho Had Tried Various Thinzs, iTnt t«ek AVas Against Him. He wasn't a tramp exactly, but he was on the vray there. lie liad struck the merchant for a dollar, and the merchant was rather interested in him. "I don't see, 1 ' he said, "why you go about —siting for money or help. You are an intelligent man, and I should think you could get something better to do." "I don't know about that," was the deBpondent rejoinder. "The Lord knows I tried hard enough to get along before I lost Bay heart entirely." "What d^d you do?" "Well, a litt?c of everything. T -ad some money, and I thought I'd go to raising rice in South Carolina and show those people down there how to do it right. I knew it all, of course, and one day a man came along Helling a new brand of seed rice. He was a nice looking man f roi". New York, and I ]iked his style. He 'iked my style, too, ho eaid, ..••••a would sell me the exclusive right to handle his stuff in South Carolina. It "was something new — a sebd tliur. coulti not I oe exposed io the light, but that would yield three times as much as the old varieties. That was what I was looking for, and very quietly I took it in, paying $800 for the right and r'our sealed cans of seed. I did all the v/ork a!; night, and when it was finished I sat down to wait and to chuckle over my enterprise. Eut I waited and waited, and nothing came, and one day I looked into tuu old cans and found I had teen stud: with some mean little wheat grains, and you might aa well try to raise icicles in tte bad place as to raise wheat in a South Carolina rice swamp." "That was bad luck," said the sympathizing merchant. "So I thought, and I left tue state and went to raising cattle in western Kansas. Hadn't more than got my herd set out before a cyclone came along and blew every horn of it clean over into the next county, and when I went after my stock a pious cowboy who had gathered them in with his own informed me that they had been sent to him by Providence, and he'd like to see any son of a gun try to take them away. As ho had a Winchester and a lot of friends with him I didn't see my way clear to interfering with the ways of Providence, and I left the country." "It's pretty hard when Providence goes against a man," ventured the merchant kindly. ' "Yes, but that isn't all." sighed the disconsolate one. "With what little I had left I went to Pennsylvania and bought a water power gristmill in the mining reffUfrs. I fixed it up with new machinery, and for awhile it looked as if my luck had changed and I was going to come out on top at last. But one night a big mine lying under the stream that gave me my mill power caved i* or sank down just enough to change the lay of the land, and, by gum, the water began to run the other ■way, and when I got to the mill In the morning the water gates were open, the stream was running up hill, as it were, and my mill machinery had been running backward until every blamed wheel was busted And the whole shebang was a wreck." The man wiped a tear from his eye. "Then ib was," he went on, "that my heart broke, and I laid right down and quit. Now, do you blame me for what I am doing?" The merchant gave him $2, and the man was in the police court next morning.— Detroit Free Press. Sad. A good many older persons who have teeu in difficult positions and have felt that the world was really very hard can sympathize with little Flo Sanborn, of whom an exchange writes: She had been censured by her mother for some small mischief which she had been •ngaged in. She sat thinking it over for ■ome time, and finally said in an utterly discouraged tone: "Everything I do is laid to me."— Youth's Companion. i 1 All Took a Haud. The Bavarian peasants are in many respects similar to the Irish. They drink a great deal and are very witty and are never ■o happy as when they are fighting with each other. A story is told of two Bavaxian peasants meeting on the road and holding the following conversation: "Were you at the wedding last night?" "Indeed I was. It was the nicest wedding we have had this season. Why, even the bride took a hand in the fight."— Texas Sittings, \dfar His Fault. s -V j ; Miss Summit— What made you stick so dose to Mr. Fiddleback all last evening ■when you saw I was dying to talk to himP f Miss Palisade— Don't blanjejne, my dear. He begged me to do itj "" Improving Exercise. , Papa— See here, sir! The policeman tells me you are one of the boys who jump on rid off of railroad trains at the crossing. Small Son— Oh, that's real improvin exorcise. When I grow up, mebby I can get m an off q£ street cars without gettin jkUled.Aa a Bale. "Do you eat anything usually before going to bed?" asked Dr. Paresis of his patient. "Certainly," replied Mr. Cumso. "I eat breakfast-dinner and supper aa a regular Iblng." Candor. Willie Wilt— Aw— really, Miss Perte, VtD. not such a fool as I look. Miss Perte— But Mr. Wilt, you know we wmnjgt always) see ourselves as others see Studying Her Requirements. Dora— Don't you think my gowns fit better than they used to? Cora— Yes. Your dressmaker told me ytaterday she was taking lessons in geomi